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I was home.
“Jesus Christ,” I muttered, looking down at the tangle of blankets around my waist and legs. I was sweating, and my heart thundered in my chest. I rubbed a hand over my face, trying to get rid of the afterimages dancing behind my eyes.
Ezra shook his head. “The dreams again?”
I flopped back in the bed, putting my arm over my eyes. “Yeah. Again. I thought I was getting past this.”
The bed dipped as he sat down next to me. Even though I was overwarm, the air in my bedroom was cool. Spring was late this year, and there were still patches of snow on the ground at the beginning of May, though it was mostly dirty slush. The moon was nearly new, still tugging like a hook in the back of my mind.
Ezra gently pushed my arm away from my face before pressing the back of his hand against my forehead. I could hear the frown in his voice when he said, “You can’t force it, Robbie. The more you try, the worse off you’ll be.” He hesitated. Then, “Did something happen today? You were quiet at dinner. I would hear you, dear, if you’d like to speak on it.”
I sighed as he pulled his hand back. I opened my eyes, staring up at the ceiling. My heartbeat was slowing and the dream was fading. I felt… calmer, somehow. Able to think. I thought it was because of the man beside me. He grounded me. He was the closest thing I’d ever had to a father, and just having him near was enough to bring me back to reality.
I turned my head to look at him. He was troubled. I reached out and took his hand in mine, feeling the old bones under paper-thin skin. “It’s nothing.”
He snorted. “I find that hard to believe. You may be able to fool all the others, but I’m not like them. And you know it. Try again.”
Yeah. I did know that. I searched for the right words. “It’s….” I shook my head. “Do you ever think that there’s something else out there? Something more?”
“Than what?”
“Than this.” I couldn’t find another way to put my muddled thoughts into coherent words.
He nodded slowly. “You’re young yet. It’s not uncommon to think such things.” He looked down at our joined hands. “In fact, I expect it’s quite normal. I was the same when I was your age.”
I felt a little better. “All those centuries ago?”
He chuckled, rusty and dry. It was a sound I didn’t hear as often as I’d like. “Cheeky,” he said. “I’m not that old. At least not yet.” His laughter faded. “I worry about you. And I know you’re going to tell me not to, but that won’t stop me. I’m not going to be around forever, Robbie, and I—”
I groaned. “Not this again. You’re not going anywhere anytime soon. I won’t let you.”
“I don’t know if you’ll have much say in the matter.”
“Yeah? Try me.” I was uncomfortable with the idea. He was so fragile. So breakable. Humans generally were, and I couldn’t stand the idea of something happening to him. He was a witch, sure, but magic could only do so much. I’d asked him once what would happen if he took the bite. I told him we could run together when the moon was full, and he’d hugged me close, rubbing my back while he told me that witches could never be wolves. Their magic would never allow it. If he was ever bitten by an Alpha, he said, the wolf magic and witch magic would tear him apart. I never asked him about it again.
He squeezed my hand. “I know you would do much for me—”
“Anything,” I corrected. “I would do anything.”
“—but you need to prepare. You can’t become stagnant, Robbie. And that means you need to start thinking about what lies ahead. It’s that something more you just spoke of. And as much as I wish I could be with you forever, it won’t always be this way.”
“But not anytime soon, right?” I asked quickly.
He rolled his eyes, and I loved him for it. “I’m fine. I’ve still got a few tricks up my sleeve. It’s nothing you need to worry about.”
“That’s funny, coming from you.”
He frowned. “Don’t think I don’t see how you’ve turned this conversation around on me.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I really hope you don’t expect me to believe that. What was the dream about this time?”
I turned my head away from him. I couldn’t look at him when we talked about this. It felt strangely like betrayal. “It was the same one.”
“Ah. The wolves in the trees.”
“Yeah.” I swallowed thickly. “Them.”
