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Shit.
“I gotta take this,” I tell the Kid. “Give me, like, two seconds.”
“Oh, sure!” he calls after me. “Go take your secret phone calls! I’ll just sit here and wonder about all these scary feelings the therapist has brought up in me! Maybe I’ll find out I have daddy issues too! Won’t that be special?”
“Hello?” I say as I round the corner.
“Bear, it’s Alice,” Otter’s mom says. “How are you?”
I shrug, but realize she can’t see me. We haven’t spoken since we’d been at their house for dinner. It’s only been a few days, but so much has happened during that time that it feels like so much longer. It’s odd, too, having them back in Seafare after such a long absence. Before they left, we tried to touch base at least once a week. I guess I’d gotten used to them being gone. And, of course, the last time I’d seen her, I’d gotten drunk and told her that I was in love with her son. You know, in case you forgot. “I’m okay,” I reply.
“Good,” she says, sounding relieved. “What are you doing right now?
I’d like to meet you for lunch if you‘re available.”
“Uh, now’s not a good time, Alice. We’re at the therapist’s office for the first time, and the Kid and I have already gone, and now it’s Otter’s turn, so he’s in there.”
“Why is Otter speaking to the therapist?” she asked, sounding baffled.
Dangerous ground. I need to tread carefully. “He’s my… partner. The attorney recommended that he be as much a part of this as I am, seeing as how we all live together and he’ll essentially have the same authority over Tyson, even if he’s not listed on any custody paperwork.”
“And he agreed to this?”
I sigh. “It was his idea,” I say. “He made sure the attorney knew how big his level of involvement would be, and he has done everything she’s told him to do. More, really.” I don’t have the words to describe to her just what her son means to me, not in the way that I think she’ll want to hear. I don’t know.
She hesitates. “This isn’t just… a phase… is it?”
This angers me, that someone so intelligent, so articulate, could utter such bullshit. Who the fuck is she to judge her son like that? “No,” I tell her coldly. “It’s not a phase. Otter’s gay. You would think you of all people could accept that.”
She immediately backtracks. “That’s not what I meant, Bear. I meant…
about the two of you.”
If anything, it makes it worse. “Look,” I say, trying to keep my cool. “I know this is a shock for you and Jerry. I know it came out of nowhere. You can think about me what you want. But what I won’t stand for is you treating Otter like crap just because he has the balls to know what he wants.
You’re his mother, for Christ’s sake. Given the history of this family and mothers, you would think you would tread just a bit more carefully.”
“You always were his biggest supporter,” she says, sounding amused by me more than anything. “I don’t really know why I was so surprised by this, given your history. Even after he went to San Diego and even through the anger you showed, I could see how much you were hurting. Did you know?
Even then?”
“Know what?”
She’s not fooled by my hedging. “That you loved him.”
“I don’t know,” I say honestly. “I’m sure I knew something.”
That’s one way to put it, it whispers. Maybe you should tell her about that kiss, that one little kiss that knocked you on your ass.
Yeah. Or maybe not.
Alice sighs. “Bear, there’s some things you should know. Things that might cause our… reluctance… to make more sense.”
Ah, Jesus. Not what I need. More secrets. “Why tell me? You should talk to Otter about this. He’s the one that needs to hear it. Not me. He deserves your honesty, Alice, not your indifference. I’m sorry if you can never accept me. But don’t do that to your son.”
There’s a sharp inhale, and I know she’s suddenly having a hard time keeping her emotions in check. “Does he love you, Bear?”
I laugh, not unkindly. “If you had to guess, what would you think?” I say this not to come off as arrogant, but to get her honest opinion.
