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It would probably be a good idea to run, I think to no avail. My feet still won’t move.
He reaches the top of the crater and st
ands there scanning the clearing before him. He looks skyward and closes his eyes. His lips move and there’s a low rumbling sound coming from him, but I can’t make out the words. I strain to hear because it suddenly seems important that I know what he is saying, that I should know each of the words pouring out of his mouth. My father’s voice whispers in my ear, telling me to listen, that I just need to listen. I lean forward further and my nose brushes against a paper-thin root strand. It tickles. My nose scrunches up. No. No! You don’t—
Too late. I sneeze. It sounds as loud as a gunshot.
I look back up. The clearing is empty.
Alarms begin ringing in my head. Get the fuck outta here! I scream at myself. Run and don’t look back! I spin around and stand, looking over my shoulder as I begin to run. One step, two steps, three—
I crash into something amazingly solid, knocking me off my feet and onto my back. My head raps against the ground and there’s a bright flash. I groan and reach up to hold the back of my head.
A deep chuckle from above me. I open one eye in a half squint.
The man from the crater stands above me, peering down at me like I’m the most interesting thing he’s ever seen. His head is turned slightly to the left, his dark eyes appearing black in the moonlight that is poking through the clouds. He’s grinning, showing strong teeth, and for a moment I wonder if he’s going to eat me alive. Then he speaks and turns my world upside down.
“Benjamin Edward Green,” he says, his voice flowing over me like warm water. He sounds absurdly happy and this causes my stomach to twist in knots. “Twentyone years of age. Born February 17, 1991 under an amethyst moon at 2:32 in the morning. Parents are Lola Ann Green and Edward Benjamin Green.” As he says my father’s name, a brief shadow crosses his eyes, but it’s gone before I can be sure it’s there. I can’t be sure any of this is happening. “Grandparents are Gerald and Linda Green and Mark and Sarah Fisette.” He stops and watches me.
“Uh.” That’s all I can say because my mind has begun to fracture a bit. As much as I don’t believe it to be so, as much as the last twenty-four hours has been surreal (Oh, it goes back further than that, I think, detached), I can’t ignore the man standing above me. I can’t ignore his voice, that voice that I refuse to believe is familiar, but know to be so. It comes from some far-off place, like it’s a dream—
you shouldn’t be here
—that I can’t be sure I’ve woken up from. He’s still watching me, waiting for some kind of response, but I’m somehow at the river in my dream, still feeling his arm wrapped protectively around my chest, his massive body pressing against my back—
you will drown
—like I need to be saved, like I’m precious and need to be held. My eyes begin to burn because—
i cannot allow that to happen
—part of me doesn’t want this to be a dream. Some small, secret part of me wants this to be real, to have him standing above me and be real because it would mean I am not alone anymore, that even though I’m pretty sure he’s going to kill me, I wouldn’t be alone. My thoughts are suddenly getting muddy, a light haze falling over my vision. Too much, I think. This is all too much.
He leans over and his grin widens. So many teeth. “Benji,” he says, and he sounds so fucking happy that I ache down to my bones, causing me to shudder. He reaches out and touches my right hand, a look of wonder on his face, his dark eyes flashing. I follow his gaze and see the feather still in my hand, bent oddly and ruffled, but still there, somehow.
He looks about to speak again, but then he snaps his head up as he rises quickly, staring off to the west toward Roseland as if he’s been spooked, like he hears something I cannot. I half expect his ears to twitch and stand up away from his head. He’s tense now, his shoulders stiff. I want to ask him what’s wrong, but I don’t dare. That sharklike grin is gone, replaced by a growing scowl.
“What is it?” I hear myself ask hoarsely as my vision begins to tunnel. “What’s wrong?”
“Others,” he snaps, his ire evident on his face. “They’re coming. I can see their threads. It’s time to leave.”
“I’m tired,” I say quietly, and my voice sounds so far away. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I can make it back across.” I close my eyes and start to fall.
Before I’m gone completely, I feel strong arms gather me up, clutching me tightly. As I’m swallowed by the dark, I hear a voice that says, “I will take you safely across the river.” And it follows me down until I’m gone.
In the dark, this is what I hear:
Big Eddie says, “By the time we finish, it’ll be so cherry. You just wait and see, Benji. When we’re done, she’ll purr and gleam, and when the sun hits her just right, your heart will jump in your chest and you’ll know what love really is. And it will shine.”
Nina Fisette says, “There was a time that was blue, when the air around me just blew. We knew he was blue, and knew what to do. I see it, all around. What did you do? He’s blue and what did you do?”
A new voice, a strange voice. “Gonna get you across the river and get you away because they’re coming and I can’t tell who they are. Why can’t I tell who they are? Why is nothing working? Oh, Father, can you hear me? I am but your humble servant. Help me protect Benjamin Edward Green. Help me to do what I must to keep him safe.”
A woman says, “This is Janet Tadesco with Channel Four Action News. I’m at mile marker seventy-seven on the Old Forest Highway just outside Roseland. As you can see behind me, emergency crews are working to remove a pickup truck that appears to have lost control and flipped into the Umpqua River. We’re told the driver and sole occupant was forty-seven-year-old Edward Green from Roseland, who was pronounced dead at the scene. At the moment, it is unclear just how long Green was in the Umpqua and whether or not his death was caused by the impact or if the river played a factor. We’ll have more as this story develops.”
My father: “Ten years old already, Benji? Pretty soon, you’re going to be all grown up and will probably be bigger than I am! You’re going to be a big guy and you will take this whole world by storm. Just you wait.”
Pastor Thomas Landeros says, “Into the ground we lower a man who was a husband. A father. A friend, both to us and this community. God’s plan may not make sense to us right now, and it may even make us angry, but rest assured there is a reason for all things, even if that reason is hidden from our eyes. Isaiah 41:10 reads: ‘Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; Yea I will help thee. I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness.’”
