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The need to atone was very strong.
“I’m sorry for this morning, Phoebe,” he said when he drew level, leaning down from the saddle and stroking her cheek. “I slighted you and that was wrong.” He smiled, indicating the thickening forest on the other side of the hedge with a look. “Come with me?”
She took a step back at his approach, jutted out her chin and ran her hands down her dress. “I suppose you feel that my accompanying you to the woods is the least you deserve in view of your generosity.”
His dismounted, taking her hands, feeling the cad he knew he was.
“I was too quick to say the things I did in front of my sister and, it’s true, I’m too eager to enjoy your company now that I see you on your own.” He hoped his smile conveyed the forgiveness he craved. “You drive me wild with desire, Phoebe.”
The look in her eye did not soften. “You were indeed quick to remind me of my inferior station, sir, and you are very quick to reinforce the gratitude you expect from me.”
“Phoebe, I truly am sorry.” And he was. “I was a boor. I admit it. A thoughtless boor.”
“But now you think your honeyed words can make everything all right. I’m not good enough to be in the same room with your sister, but you can have me at will. It’s true you’ve bought me dresses and given me food to eat in return for what I’ve given you. But…what security do I have?”
He shrugged. “I will look after you, I’ve told you. I’m sorry I offended you. Would you like another new dress? I shall send a message around to the village dressmaker—”
“Stop! I’m not a lightskirt, a Cyprian, or whatever they’re called. You cheapen me to say such things, when the truth is that I would never have given myself to you had I not felt a strong desire to enjoy that which you enjoy. Even if my very life depended on it. I am not that sort of woman.”
He seized her hands and brought her knuckles up to his lips. “You really had feelings that matched mine? I’d never have guessed! Well, that’s music to my ears, even if I’m not the first.”
“Do you want me to slap you?” She shuddered, and to his astonishment, raised a pair of eyes that shone with tears. “No, you are not the first, but you are the first to whom I’ve given myself with little in the way of cajoling. There! Perhaps that massages your pride.”
She glanced over her shoulder at the house as he took her hand, saying, “Come, Phoebe, walk with me.”
“To the woods?”
“To somewhere you and I can be alone. Nothing more.”
“I have little choice since you’re already marching me there.”
He squeezed her hand tighter. He liked her spirit. She was unlike any young woman he’d ever met.
When they were deep amidst the spreading oaks, he suspected a more gentle mood had overtaken her. She was gazing at the spreading branches above their heads, her expression thoughtful. The pale sun that penetrated the dense canopy highlighted the softness of her features. She was beautiful.
“Tell me about yourself, Phoebe,” he coaxed. She’d mentioned she came from a harsher part of the country. Her accents were so contrived it was impossible to place her. “We’ve not spent enough time getting to know who we truly are. I’ve thought long and hard about that this morning after I realized how unbecoming my conduct was toward you.”
Her hand in his did not stiffen as she walked, but her tone remained distant. “I come from by the sea where the cliffs plunge into the waters, and smugglers ply a healthy trade. This is a gentler part of the world,” she remarked.
“Yet it has not been so kind to you, has it?”
She stopped and turned. “It has not.”
“I will protect you, Phoebe,” he promised, drawing her into his arms and meaning what he said. “I’ve been many things I should not have been, but one thing I do promise you is my protection.”
“You do?”
He drew back to look at her, offended by the skepticism in her tone. “Have I not promised it from the moment I rescued you? And I have followed through. You will accompany me to London, as we agreed when we spoke of it. I thought you were excited at—”
“The prospect of being your mistress?”
“Better that than the maidservant in danger, surely?”
She shrugged. “You think I’m giving up nothing to be your…paramour?”
He considered this. “You’ve told me you have no family. You fear discovery. I thought you considered my proposition with no misgivings. Particularly since you gave me reason to think you cared for me.”
He couldn’t make out the look she sent him and then realization struck. “You’ve been disappointed before, haven’t you? That’s why you don’t trust that my word is good?”
