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‘I see. This is, I presume, because of the romantic involvement you once had with someone else. You did tell me some such thing the first time we met,’ he reminded her.
Her face flamed. She had had so much to drink that night she could not remember what she had told him, but it embarrassed her now to think that she had probably poured out to him all her maudlin misery over what had once been her love for Chris.
‘I take it there is no question of this, er...relationship—’
‘None at all,’ Sophy managed to interrupt huskily.
‘I see. Having suffered the pangs of love once and been hurt by it you have no wish to risk yourself with such an emotion again, is that it?’
It wasn’t because she was frightened of loving that she was marrying him, Sophy reflected, but it was much simpler and easier to let him believe that than to tell him the truth.
She lifted her head and looked at him, forcing a cool smile. ‘Yes, Jon, that is it. The relationship you are offering me, the chance to take over the role of mother to the children, is exactly what I want.’
‘Very well...but I must tell you, Sophy, that, er...that there can be no question of me tolerating a sexual relationship which you might form outside our marriage.’
‘You mean you wouldn’t want me to take a lover?’
‘Yes, that is exactly what I mean.’
It was getting dark and in the dusk she could barely see across the room.
The aura that Jon projected when she was not able to see him clearly was unnervingly at odds with the man she knew him to be. Even his voice seemed to have changed, become slightly silky and somehow subtly menacing.
‘You have my word that there will be no question of that, Jon,’ she told him quietly and truthfully. Not wanting him to ask any more questions she gave a small shrug and added lightly, ‘Perhaps, like yourself, I am one of those humans whose sex drive is so low as to be almost nonexistent.’
She thought for a moment he seemed to tense, as though about to say something and wondered uncertainly if she had perhaps hurt or offended him by being so frank. No man would enjoy hearing himself described as virtually sexless, she thought guiltily.
‘And this man...the one you loved, Sophy?’
‘He’s married now. It would never have worked. He didn’t...’ she swallowed and told what was in effect merely a half lie. ‘He didn’t care in the way that I did.’
Suddenly and inexplicably she felt quite exhausted. ‘It’s been a long day, Jon,’ she told him quietly. ‘If you don’t mind, I think I’ll go to bed.’
She knew it would be a long time before Jon came upstairs and, although he smiled vaguely at her as she went out of the room, she sensed that his mind was already on other things.
It had never occurred to her that he might question her motives in agreeing to marry him and was relieved that he had assumed that it was her non-existent love for Chris that had motivated her. It rather surprised her that he should remember her wine-induced confidences on the night of the party when they first met. She had been feeling particularly down at the time otherwise she would never have said a word.
* * *
‘SO ARE YOU REALLY and truly married now?’
Sophy nodded her head, and smiled at Alex. She was still quite amazed that Jon had managed to arrange the details without any hitch.
She had also been a little surprised at his insistence on a religious ceremony but had said nothing. In all honesty she had to admit there had been something comforting and right about the familiar Church service that had soothed away a lot of her last minute doubts. Now it was too late. They were married, Jon looking exceedingly uncomfortable in a suit he must surely have had since he came down from university and so heavy that it was totally unsuitable for a hot July day, she thought exasperatedly.
‘I’m going to have to do something about your clothes,’ she told him wryly. ‘They’re atrocious.’
‘Are they?’ He stared vaguely at her, frowningly perplexed, and yet as he turned his head slightly to answer a question David had asked him, Sophy was sure she saw his mouth curl faintly in amusement. What had she said to amuse him? Nothing, surely?
There was no question of a honeymoon of course. Jon was flying to Nassau in the morning and following the early morning wedding ceremony Sophy intended to spend the afternoon checking that everything was in order for his trip. ‘I’ll have to give my mother a ring and tell her the news,’ she murmured, blenching a little at the thought of that ordeal.
