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She pressed her lips tightly together to keep her tears at bay. She had never wanted to feel sorry for herself. After all, no one had forced her to say, “I do” in any of her marriages. It had always been the guilt of knowing if she did not marry, she was putting her sisters’ future at risk.
Raynerson moved to her side of the carriage and held her gloved hands. The warmth of his hand seared through the thin leather. “Why didn’t you just refuse them?”
She shook her head as a tear fell. “I couldn’t. My marriage would increase my sisters’ chances of success. With my father gone, I felt I had no say in the matter.”
He leaned his head back against the velvet cushion. “I am sorry,” he muttered.
“For what? None of this is your fault.”
He lifted her gloved hand to his mouth and kissed it gently. “No one should be forced into marriage.”
“Thank you.” She squeezed his hard hand. “Perhaps we can be friends after all.”
He turned slightly to face her. “Perhaps, even more than friends.” Slowly, he leaned in closer until his lips were only an inch away. “But I will do nothing you do not ask of me, so tell me to kiss you, Tessa.”
She could only stare into his amber eyes for the longest moment before she finally whispered, “Kiss me.”
Gently, he lowered his lips to hers. It was far from the kiss she would have expected from him. The sweetness of his kiss made her ache for more than just a single kiss. Slowly, she moved her lips against his until he opened and let her tongue glide against his. Just as quickly, he took control. The sweet sensation of his lips against hers made her eyes well with tears as she clung to his lapels. She couldn’t remember the last time a man had kissed her so thoroughly, as if there was no one else in the world but her. Not one of her husbands had, not even Stanhope.
He lifted his head and rubbed his thumb across her lips. “If I were a gentleman, I suppose I would apologize.”
“Then I am quite happy you are not a gentleman,” she whispered before kissing his thumb.
The air seemed to swirl around them, thickening with pent up desire. She wondered if he would be scandalized if she attempted to kiss him again. But before she could act upon that insane thought, the carriage slowed to a stop in front of her home. He sat back against the seat, straightening his cravat.
The door opened and he jumped down to offer his hand in assistance to her. She took it but wondered what would happen next. Would he ask to come in for a brandy? If he did, should she let him? He might want more than a brandy and while she might desire more, she scarcely knew him. And yet, she wanted to know him better. And she wanted to kiss him again.
No one had prepared her for this. It certainly wasn’t a topic her mother would speak of, no matter that she had a lover of her own.
“Thank you for a wonderful evening,” he said as they approached the front door.
Was this where she should invite him in? Or would he
ask her? “You are welcome. I had a very pleasant evening, too.”
Had those insipid words just come out of her mouth?
He stopped at the door and took her hand to his lips. “Good evening, Lady Stanhope.”
Roberts opened the door, silencing any propositions she might have made if fear hadn’t clamped her lips shut.
“Good night, Mr. Raynerson.”
A feeling of disappointment surged through her as she watched him walk back to the carriage and get inside. She stepped inside her empty house, as if a house with five servants could ever be empty, and sighed. As she climbed up the steps, she wondered what tomorrow would bring. Would Mr. Raynerson pay another call on her? Perhaps, he might invite her to another social outing.
~*~
The next day did not bring the call from Mr. Raynerson as she’d hope but a call of a different sort. Tessa strolled into the salon with a smile for her sister who sat in the chair near the window with her arms crossed over her chest. “Good afternoon, Louisa.”
“Humph,” she answered before rising to face her. “You asked me to find out what I could about Mr. Raynerson and before I could even tell you what I had discovered, you were seen with him at the Marshall’s musicale. Why did I even bother speaking to Blakely?”
“I am quite well, thank you for inquiring,” Tessa replied scornfully. She took a seat on the sofa and glared over at her sister. “Mr. Raynerson asked me to attend with him. I saw no reason to refuse him.”
“Well, perhaps you should have waited a day to speak with me.” Louisa sat back down but crossed her arms defiantly over her chest again. “And where is the damn tea!”
“You only just arrived. The tea will be here soon. Now tell me what has you so upset today.”
“Speaking with Blakey only encouraged an intimacy I don’t wish for with him.”
