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Staring out at the grass finally peeking through the melting snow, he wondered again if she’d arrived home safely. He had no way of knowing since she had stopped writing to him, and the uncertainty of her predicament pricked his conscience.
Ever since she’d departed, he wondered if he’d done the right thing. Should he have agreed to find her a husband?
Bloody hell, no!
His conscience wouldn’t let him offer for her as it would do nothing but bring up the past for them both. The gossip both families might have to endure would be endless. She deserved better—not a man whose father’s mad actions completely ruined their family name.
And not a man who failed his own wife.
Staying away from her, from town, seemed the only course.
She deserved a gentleman who would understand her. A man who was unburdened by the shame of his actions and those of his father’s. And as usual, every time he had that thought darkness seeped into his soul, covering him like a shroud.
In many ways, he was as guilty as his father.
Thrusting the frustrating thoughts away, he poured a brandy and then sank into a chair. But as soon as he sat, his thoughts returned to Louisa. He completely understood her reasoning for wanting a husband. A spinster was nothing but a burden and something her family could ill afford.
While Tessa had a decent inheritance from her last husband and her current husband had money from his grandmother, she now had a child on the way. Her husband was trying to build his law practice, but it takes time for a solicitor to land well-paying clients. Money could be tight for a while.
Emma would marry Bolton. Harry almost smiled, thinking about how Louisa would vex Bolton. She had twice the brains as the viscount, and Harry could only imagine the quarrels that would happen if she lived with them.
That only left her mother with whom she could live, and that would drive her mad.
Dammit, there was no easy solution to this mess.
Louisa’s situation was his fault. He was the duke now and responsible for the family name. If not for his father’s interference with Tessa’s marriages, Louisa would be able to have any man she wanted. There was no other choice in this matter. He should do the right thing by her.
He should want the best for her.
Every day was a day closer to his thirtieth birthday and her informing the gossipmongers of their pact. He wasn’t entirely positive she would make good on her threat, but he had his daughter to think of now. If Louisa did release the details of their deal, Charlotte’s name might be brought into the mess. With her mixed blood, any talk would only confirm her status as an outcast. He had to determine the best course of action.
Time was running out.
AS JANUARY GAVE WAY to February, Louisa felt as if the gloominess of the weather had seeped into her very soul. Or perhaps her mood could be blamed on the death of King George III three days ago, which had brought the entire country into mourning. She’d scarcely left the house since arriving home from Northwood Park. No matter how hard she tried, her thoughts kept returning to her short time with Harry.
Over the past few weeks, her anger at him gave way to pity. If he ever discovered she felt sorry for his situation, he would be furious with her. He had changed since the death of his wife. Louisa wanted desperately to help him but was at a loss as to how. While she’d hoped he might agree to marry again, he must have had loved his wife deeply to feel the impact of her passing still.
He just needed to quit Northwood Park. Being back in town and amongst friends would help him see that no one blamed him for his father’s actions, least of all her. A diversion from his mourning might help him discover that he could love again.
Now she sounded like a hopeless dreamer.
She doubted the appalling threat in the note she left would make any difference. He likely assumed she would never show their deal to anyone, which would be correct. The hope had been that he would believe her threat long enough to decide to come to town. But he could continue to molder in the North, and there wasn’t much she could do about it. A repeat visit to Northwood Park was highly unlikely at this point.
Returning to London now, only to find the entire town draped in black, would be particularly unpleasant for him. But he would have to attend the King’s service. Not even a duke would forgo a king’s funeral without an extraordinary reason. Her shoulders sagged. He had to go to Windsor, but there was nothing that said he had to then come to town.
But he might. And if he did arrive and decide to help her find a husband, he would need a list of her requirements. Finally feeling like she had a task to perform, she moved to her writing desk by the window. So...what did she want in a husband? She pulled out paper and ink to prepare her list.
For the longest time, she could only stare at the blank paper.
LOUISA SPENT THE NEXT few weeks refining her requirements for a husband. After waking early this morning, she spent time reviewing her requirements again. Harry might be here any day, therefore she needed to be prepared, and her list was woefully inadequate. An hour later and with still nothing new to add, she went down to the morning room for breakfast.
Emma sat at the morning table, drinking her strong coffee and smiled over at her. “Good morning, Louisa.”
“Good morning.” Not loving the strong coffee Emma drank, Louisa chose tea to go along with her ham and eggs.
“I’ve heard most of the gentlemen have returned from Windsor,” Emma chatted.
“Yes, I suppose they have.” Louisa felt a sting of disappointment. He wasn’t coming to town.
