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He tilted his head and smiled. “Of course you are. You just haven’t realized it yet.”
She would have to pull out her research books on belladonna poisoning. Could it cause a form of madness that would make a viscount believe he should marry a wise woman because they had made love? She certainly hoped it was just an effect of the poison.
“Put your head down and stop thinking about it,” he said quietly.
“How do you expect me to do such a thing?”
“I haven’t officially proposed to you.”
She sighed and put her head back down. Perhaps he was saying all this to lessen his guilt over his vow. It did put him in a tough spot. Somehow, he would have to justify to himself that he hadn’t broken his vow when, in fact, he had. “I suppose you haven’t.”
He slowly caressed her arm. “Are you feeling all right?”
Was she? She hadn’t expected that making love with a man would be
so exciting. But it was odd at the same time. She had always said she wanted marriage before she indulged in the physical aspects of love. But she couldn’t tell him that after his brief comment on marrying her. That would only reinforce his belief that they should marry, when that would be the worst thing for both of them. They would never suit. Attraction they had, love they did not.
“Tia?”
“I am all right.”
“Indeed? Do you realize what a terrible liar you are?” He rolled her over to her back and then rolled on top of her. He kissed her softly with such tenderness it almost made her cry. “What is bothering you?”
She closed her eyes to keep his prying gazing from reading too much. “I didn’t know what to expect, Braden. It was all a little much.”
“Open your eyes, Tia,” he demanded.
She didn’t want to. Every time she stared into his light blue eyes, she was lost. How could she feel anything for him? He’d fully admitted that he was a rake. He’d said he done some dreadful things as an adolescent—most likely justified if his father had truly died, leaving them nothing.
“Tia.”
She blinked her eyes open and stared into his eyes. She’d been told by so many people he was a rake. Why had he decided to reform before she met him? This would be so much easier if he just left the room and her life. Surely, the lust she’d felt for him would be satisfied now.
“Braden,” she whispered.
Why did she have to see good in him? He was supposed to be a gambler, a rake, and possibly a killer. And yet, she knew how well he treated his servants and tenants. She knew how much he cared for his brother, even when Jonathon had made a mess of his life. Braden could have forced her to go back to the estate several times, but he hadn’t.
“What is wrong?” he whispered and then kissed her jaw. “I don’t want to see you sad.”
She wrapped her arms around him. His comfort enveloped her, making her feel safe. “Please don’t speak of marriage,” she pleaded. “I cannot think about marrying you.”
He sighed. “As you wish.”
“Don’t be angry.”
He rolled off her and stared at the ceiling. “Why would I be angry? I wait over six months to make love to a woman and instead of being pleased that I wish to marry her, she turns me out.”
“The only reason you want to marry me is because of your vow. What exactly was your vow to your friends?”
“That the next woman I made love to would be my wife.” He tossed off the coverlet and picked up his trousers. “So it was all for naught. I suppose I can go back to my corrupt ways now.”
“Braden, please wait.”
“Unless you are going to consent to be my wife, there is nothing left to stay for.” He quickly grabbed the rest of his clothing off the floor and stormed from the room.
Tia stared at the door, unable to move. Finally, she lay back down and let her tears fall. Why would this bother him so much? They were opposites, weren’t they? He enjoyed town life, while the more time she spent here, the more she missed her home and family.
There had to be more reasons they wouldn’t suit. She frowned in thought.
