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Will breathed in deeply. “I don’t think that is a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“There are some entries not fit for an unmarried woman to read,” he replied stiffly.
“I want the journal,” she demanded. The infuriating man just stood there blocking the door.
“No. It is highly improper.”
“So is what we did on the sofa in the music room. And what we did in my bedroom.” Heat crossed her cheeks as she remembered exactly what happened in both those rooms.
He opened the door to his bedroom and pulled her inside. Shutting the door, he backed her against it until she was caught between the door and his hard body.
“Elizabeth,” he murmured.
No matter how much she wanted him, it wasn’t right. Until they knew the truth, one of them had to be the strong one and today it was her. She placed her hands on his chest and pushed him away.
“We cannot do this, Will.”
“I know.” He picked up a book from his desk and hurled it across the room. “I hate this, Elizabeth.”
“So do I,” she whispered. “Please let me have the book and I will leave your room.”
“Very well, but I did warn you. This is a very sordid book.” Will moved to the fireplace and slid open a panel. He removed a book and tossed it to her.
“Thank you, Will.” Her hands shook as she stared down at the book. Apprehension crept around her. She had always assumed her father had kept a mistress but Will insinuated there was much worse in here.
“Elizabeth, if you need someone to talk to about it…”
“Thank you.” Elizabeth left and walked into her room. After sitting in the chair by the window, she skimmed her fingers over the leather binding. With a deep breath, she slowly opened the book.
The first entry, dated January 1, 1790, spoke only of the daily routine. The duke had visited the tenants at Kendal and given small presents for the new year. There was no mention of her mother.
The next few entries were in a similar fashion, and Elizabeth wondered why Will thought this was so sordid. Then she understood when she came to the entry of January 12.
I finally spirited the new maid up the stairs to my room. The little slut put on quite the virginal act, until she saw my cock. Then there was no doubt I wasn’t her first time. She begged me to take her from behind, so I gave her exactly what she wanted. I never expected Camille to return early. Nor did I think she would want me to keep fucking the little slut while she watched. Once the maid had come, I told her to strip off Camille’s clothing and get her ready for me.
Camille stood there as the maid removed her gown and started to suckle her tits. I almost came right then. The slut forced Camille on the bed and licked her until she screamed her completion. After that, I took the maid’s place and fucked Camille like I never had before.
Elizabeth closed the book and threw it on the floor. She felt dirty for reading something so depraved. How could her mother have allowed him to treat her like that? Why didn’t she say no?
She sat in the chair, unable to move for nearly an hour. She had thought she would be able to handle anything written in the journal but the idea that her mother let a maid do those things to her disgusted Elizabeth. Based on Will’s comments, Elizabeth doubted that what she’d read was even the worst of it.
She started at the sound of a knock on her door. “Yes?”
Her maid, Susan, peeked into the room. “Do you wish to get ready for the dinner party now?”
In her shocked stupor, she had forgotten about the dinner at Avis’s home. “Yes, now would be fine.”
Elizabeth quickly picked up the journal and placed it in her nightstand. The thought of reading more of it made her stomach churn with nausea. Maybe tomorrow she could bear it, but not tonight.
Susan picked out one of Elizabeth’s favorite gowns for the dinner, a lovely pale blue silk with lace trim around the neckline. Maybe dinner with her friends would help her feel better, but somehow, she doubted it.
Chapter 21
Will enjoyed dinner with the Selbys. They had kept the guest list to less than twenty people so he knew everyone who attended. Unfortunately, the one person he wanted to speak with tonight did not come. Lady Selby had said Somerton accepted her invitation but she assumed something must have come up to detain him.
During dinner, Will had been able to keep his eye on Elizabeth, but now the ladies had removed to the salon while the men had brandies and cigars. He hated cigars but thankfully, only Lord Heatherstone decided to smoke.
