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“We don’t know for certain, Elizabeth,” Will said quietly. “We are only assuming.”
“Will! The man had red hair. The timing is right. Of course, he is my father. Some
nameless footman. Neither of them even mentioned his name, as if he didn’t matter.” Elizabeth barely held back her tears. Rage and sadness warred inside her. She had never been so sickened in all her life.
“Darling, I think we should keep reading to see if there is any mention of another man.”
“Very well.” Elizabeth read through the rest of July’s entries and discovered that her mother had taken ill soon after her night of debauchery with the footman. They had left the party as soon as she was well enough to travel.
She skimmed through the beginning of August, when she noticed a pattern of sickness every morning. Finally, toward the end of August, her mother mentioned it again.
There can be no doubt now. I am with child again. Damnation. The last thing I wanted was another baby. Now I will have to endure another month or two of sickness, and then I shall grow fat with child. If only I had the courage to be rid of it.
Elizabeth gasped as Will muttered a foul curse.
But I cannot do such a thing. This child will be my penance for such dreadful behavior. John will be furious when he discovers the babe and realizes the timing of it. The only possible father of this child is that damned footman. Why could I not control myself? All of this happened because I wanted that new bonnet, and John wouldn’t pay for it. I pray the babe is blond like the other children. If not, I fear for my life.
She could not read another line. She had grown up believing her mother loved her, but it had all been a lie. Her mother had slept with another man to win the money to buy a bonnet. She had manipulated the man just to get what she wanted.
Elizabeth refused to look at Will and see the disgust she knew had to be written on his face. How could anyone look upon her and not see her shame. She would never be able to face Society again. After reading the diary, she was certain that many people knew she was nothing but the daughter of a servant and a whore.
Slowly, Will removed the book from her hand. “I think we should burn them both.”
She had no idea what to think. Her entire world just turned upside down. If they burned the book no one could ever prove she wasn’t who she said she was—the late duke’s daughter. But if Caroline or Richard ever spread their hateful gossip about Elizabeth and Will being siblings, she might need proof.
“No, we cannot do that.”
“Elizabeth, we must,” Will insisted firmly. “No one can find out about this. It would ruin you.”
“Hide them both in the panel of your fireplace. No one will find them there,” she replied in a flat tone. She suddenly felt numb, as if someone had stolen all her emotions from her.
“Darling, everything will work out. No one will ever discover the truth, and you shall continue to be the daughter of the duke.” He tried to pull her back into his arms but she resisted.
She shrugged out of his arms and moved to the side of the bed. “I know, Will.”
He edged closer to her and put his warm hands on her shoulders. “I know, too. But it doesn’t matter. No one else will ever know your true identity.”
Elizabeth jumped out of bed and faced him. Fury raced through her. How could he not realize how much this meant to her?
“It does matter. It changes everything. My mother slept with a footman in order to win a wager. A wager! And why? Because she wanted an expensive bonnet that the duke refused to pay for.”
Hearing the words aloud made her cringe. How could anyone do such a wicked thing? Her mother. Her mother had done it. All over a bonnet.
Elizabeth briefly wondered what other wicked things her mother had done to get what she wanted.
The ache in her heart became too much to bear any longer. She covered her face as hot tears burned down her cheeks. And once again, Will was there for her. He pulled her back into his arms and held her tightly. Caressing her hair, he murmured words of comfort to her but nothing could ease her anguish.
She clung to him, needing him more in that moment than she had ever needed another person. He kissed the top of her head. But she wanted more than comforting from him. She pressed her body closer to him and felt the instant reaction building between them. Tomorrow she would determine what to do with her life but tonight, she wanted to be in the safety of his arms again.
He brought her back to the bed and laid her against the pillows. Gently, he kissed her and she poured her love into every kiss. As he made love to her, she knew without a doubt that she loved him. He comprehended the truth of her background and still wanted her.
Will awoke before dawn and stared at the beautiful woman in the bed next to him. He should leave her now and get back to his room before the servants started their day. Instead, he watched the gentle rise and fall of her breasts as she slept.
Making love with her a second time had been the most incredibly loving thing he had ever experienced. His only thought had been to help her through her pain. But everything felt different that second time. It was as if she couldn’t get enough of him.
Almost as if she were saying good-bye.
He shook his head to clear himself of such morose thoughts. Elizabeth wasn’t going anywhere. He would make certain of that. As he lay in her bed watching her, he made his decision. He would ask her to marry him this evening after dinner. And he would tell her that he was staying in England.
