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That would help but she knew it would never happen. Just thinking about it caused something inside her to shatter. “He will never do it. I’m nothing but a reminder of what happened to his marriage. Because of me, his wife left him. Because of me, he doesn’t even know that he has another daughter. Because of me, his son hates him. Because of me—”
Suddenly she found herself weeping against his strong chest. “Don’t you see, Nicholas? It is all my fault.”
“Oh, Sophie,” he muttered agains
t her hair. “None of this is your fault.” He reached down, picked her up in his arms and brought her to the sofa. “Shh, sweetheart.”
“It is my fault. If I hadn’t been born, none of this would have happened.” She couldn’t stop her tears or the words from flowing. “Somerton hates our father because his mother left after she found out about me.”
“No, Sophie,” Nicholas said quietly. “She never left. She died in a carriage accident.”
“No, she is still alive.”
He pushed her away slightly. “I have known Somerton for twenty years. His mother is dead.”
“She lives next to the orphan home that Victoria ran. She runs the brothel. And if not for my birth, she would have lived with her husband and maybe Somerton would have been a different person.”
She had never told another person all the things she just told him. And by telling him, she’d broken a promise to her brother and Victoria. “Oh, God, I never should have told you that,” she mumbled, wiping away the tears from her cheeks.
His hand stilled on her hair. “Are you telling me the truth? Lady Whitely is actually Somerton’s mother?”
Sophie nodded as guilt clawed at her. “You have to promise not to tell a soul, Nicholas. No one can learn of this or it will ruin Somerton and his sisters.”
He frowned. “Somerton only has two sisters, you and Lady Genna. What are you talking about?”
“The young girl Victoria took with her from the orphan home is Bronwyn. She is Lady Whitely’s daughter with her husband. Only my father doesn’t know because she didn’t want him to take her away like Genna and Somerton.” She looked up at him with tears obstructing her sight. “That is why you must never speak of this to anyone.”
“But Sophie, none of this is your fault. Your father has caused this mess.” He caressed her face, rubbing his thumb over her cheekbone.
“If not for me, my brother’s family would have been normal.”
He laughed soundly.
“Why are you laughing at me?”
“Sophie, I have met so few normal families in Society. I think the most normal would be the Selbys. And many people could never understand how the dowager Lady Selby could have loved her husband when he was so much older than she.”
“It matters not. I will not ruin anyone else’s life.” She turned away from him. “I think you should leave now.”
“Sophie, I love you.”
She spun around and glared at him. “Don’t ever say that to me! You love Jennette but now you must come to love your betrothed.”
“I loved Jennette. But since I met you I realized my feelings for her were nothing compared to what I feel for you. And I will never love Justine.”
“Please leave, Nicholas.”
He took a step toward her and then stopped. “Do you love me, Sophie?”
Oh, how she wanted to tell him the truth. But this had gone too far. “You need to leave.”
He stared at her for a long moment as if making up his mind. “As you wish,” he said, and then strode from the room.
She watched him go and knew she had to leave London. He actually spoke of breaking his engagement for her. That would ruin everyone. Tomorrow, she would do what she should have done a few weeks ago.
Chapter 22
The next morning Sophie sat in her office and finished her correspondence. Then she started her lists of things she needed to do before leaving for Venice. There were so many things she had to complete before she could depart. But the hardest thing would be making sure no one discovered her intent before the ship left Portsmouth.
