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I won’t kill Pollack. I’ve never killed another person. I’ve hired it out, but never actually pulled the trigger myself. Does that make me any less guilty?
No, not really. Just like Pollack is no less guilty even if he didn’t physically harm Katelyn.
Fuck. What was I thinking, believing I could live a normal life? Believing I could truly escape my past? Believing I could be Luke Johnson, no man and every man?
I train my gun on him once more. “You’re going to tell me, and you’re going to tell me now. What did you pay to go to that island? Who are the others who went there? And where are they now?”
8
KATELYN
Even though I was recently here for my interview with Reid, this building still gives me the creeps.
Somewhere, in the depths, underground, I was hunted, tortured, starved, my shoulders dislocated.
Zee.
The place where I first met Zee.
I can handle this. I must. Part of taking back my life is taking back the places that haunt me.
Though this is the Wolfe office building, both Reid and his brother Rock live here on the top floors. After going through the requisite security and checking in with reception, I head up on their private elevator accompanied by a security guard.
At least I know I’m safe here. They have just as much security here as they do at my apartment complex.
The elevator opens right into Zee’s penthouse.
“Go on in,” the guard says. “The housekeeper will take you to Mrs. Wolfe.”
A woman greets me. “Hello, Ms. Brooks. I’m Lydia. Mrs. Wolfe is waiting for you in the nursery.” She leads me through a large living area to a hallway and then to an open door.
Zee sits in a rocking chair, a tiny bundle in her arms. She looks up and smiles. But it quickly turns to a frown.
“Katelyn, what happened?”
My hands instinctively go to my cheeks. My swollen eyes, my red nose. The housekeeper and the security guard didn’t say anything, but of course they wouldn’t. They’re paid for their silence, to mind their own business.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. You’ve been crying.”
“Actually…Luke called me. He didn’t leave town after all.”
“That’s good. Why the crying?”
“I did the crying before I knew that.”
Zee smiles weakly. She knows, as well as I do, that I probably shouldn’t be pursuing a relationship right now anyway. It’s just too soon.
But I fell in love. I fell in love quickly and passionately and now… Now I don’t know how to live without Luke.
Ugh. I don’t even like the thought. I’ve gotten through hell, and now I let the fact that my man might’ve left me send me into a tailspin.
I’m not going to be that woman.
“Enough about me,” I say. “I came here to see your beautiful baby.” I lean down.
Honor is sleeping, her tiny eyes closed. Her features are fine. Of course she’ll be beautiful. She’s Zee and Reid’s child. But for a newborn, she is extraordinarily stunning with fine black hair, a tiny button nose, and full pink lips.
“She’s breathtaking, Zee.”
“She is, isn’t she? But I admit to being biased.”
“Of course you’re biased. You made her. But she truly is gorgeous.”
Zee traces Honor’s tiny lips with her finger. “I can’t get enough of her. I absolutely can’t stop looking at her. I have to force myself not to pick her up when she’s sleeping soundly because I just never want to let her go.”
I nod, smiling. Will I ever have a baby? A long time ago, before the island, I used to think I wanted children. Now? I’m not sure I’m whole enough. Sure, I have my strength. Sure, I’m determined to take my life back.
A child, though… A child deserves so much more than a mother who’s been broken.
But perhaps I’m not beyond repair. Perhaps one day I can have a baby who is as beautiful to me as Honor is to Zee.
“This is your Auntie Katelyn, Nora,” Zee says in a hushed voice.
“Don’t wake her,” I say.
“I won’t, but I wish she would open her eyes so you could see them. They’re blue, just like Reid’s. Dark blue.”
“Don’t all babies have blue eyes?”
“I thought that too,” she says. “Turns out it’s an old wives’ tale. Of course, since both Reid and I have blue eyes, Nora’s fate was sealed.”
“She’s already beautiful,” I say.
“Thank you. Would you like to hold her?”
Something jumps in my belly, as if my uterus is skipping a beat. “I don’t want to wake her.”
“It’s okay.” Zee stands, and she carefully hands Nora to me.
My God, my uterus beats again. I know I’m imagining it, but holding this beautiful little human in my hands, I feel like I can handle anything.
“I can’t even express how much I feel right now,” I say.
“Have you held a baby before?”
“No. I haven’t. I never did any babysitting for newborns. Only older children. And then of course…”
