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“Don’t go alone. Bring good friend. You have one?” She taps another can. “Your American friend.”
“Jules.” She’s come with me here a couple of times. “Yes. She would go.” Jules would definitely encourage me to scream. I take my drink, bowing to Yang Ilhwa, and then run off toward IF Group, fumbling out a text.
Tonight? Jules replies.
ME: Yes
JULES: Why not. Ok if anna n Mel come?
I hesitate. Anna and Mel are Jules’s roommates, and since I moved out, I don’t have much contact with them, but they know my story. They helped me find Choi Wansu.
ME: Sure
JULES: I’ll reserve a room. Where do you want to go?
ME: Close to your place is fine as long as you call the cab home for me
Most of the cab drivers are decent, but there are some, particularly late at night, who have no patience for a Korean girl who can’t speak the language well. I’ve had more than one refuse me service.
JULES: will txt you the deets
In the afternoon, I get a message from Yujun.
YUJUN: I feel like I’m always saying I’m sorry these days and I am sorry but I’ve said it so many times the word has no meaning. I miss you. This will all work out. Once these projects are finished and the contracts are signed we will have more time. The holidays are coming. We’ll do something special, just the two of us.
The holidays, meaning Chuseok, are over a month away. I guess it’s not that long, in the grand scheme of things.
ME: I will block the long weekend off for you. I miss you too. Love you.
I add the Hangul version for extra sincerity. I let Wansu know that I won’t be home until late. Spitefully, I don’t tell her what I’m doing. I hope she thinks I’m having mad sex with Yujun at his apartment, but she probably knows he’s working. Hell, she could be sitting next to him in some conference room right now.
Am I jealous of my birth mother? Is that what I’ve been reduced to?
The thing is, before the encounter in the park, I sort of thought Wansu was overreacting. She’s protective of IF Group, in part, I think, because she married into the company. From what little I know, there was conflict between the way that Wansu thought the company should be run and the way Choi Yusuk believed it should be run. Yujun backed Wansu over his father. Yujun doesn’t regret this but he feels burdened by guilt. He said once that the argument they had put Choi Yusuk in the condition he is in now.
Objectively, I don’t think Yujun believes he caused his father’s stroke and slide into a comatose state, but one’s head isn’t always in control. In his heart, Yujun carries grief over this mess, which is why he works himself to the bone. If the company is successful, then he can justify his behavior. If the company fails, then his bold stance, his non-“Sim Cheong” behavior, would have been for nothing.
“Turn the music off,” Jules orders.
I look up from the binder of karaoke songs in my lap to see Jules, Anna, and Mel staring at me—or in the case of Jules, glaring. “Are you waiting for me to pick a song?” I blindly point at one of the selections. “Here. I’ll sing this one.”
“?‘Ohmona’? That’s a trot song from”—she lifts the sheet closer to her face because the room is dark and it’s hard to read with only strobe lights spinning around—“2007. Do you even know it?”
I barely know what trot is other than it’s hugely popular now. Every station has at least one trot musical show on every night. “There’ll be lyrics on the screen.”
Jules snatches the binder from my hands and tosses it aside. “You haven’t been with us the whole night.” She knocks a fist lightly against the side of my head. “What’s going on in there?”
“Did you have a bad day at work?” Anna asks.
“Right. Very busy. Work is piling up.” I nod repeatedly.
Jules snorts, as she knows this is a big lie. “It’s about Yujun.”
She sits back with her arms folded across her chest like she knew I was going to be in this position at some point.
“It’s not about him. Not exactly.”
None of them look like they believe me.
“Do you guys think I’m closed off?”
All three nod simultaneously.
“How can you say that?”
“You didn’t tell us why you came to Korea. When you left for your father’s funeral, you kept that to yourself, too,” Anna reminds me.
“I asked for you all to help me find my birth mother! How is that closed off?”
“Only because you suck at Korean,” Jules retorts.
“Fine. I’m closed off.” I fold my arms across my chest.
“See?” Jules points at my posture.
I throw my hands to my sides. “Whatever. Let me ask this. If you had a chance with Yujun, would you take it?”
