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“I take it George knows Jameson’s my son?” he grumbled.
“Yes,” I admitted. George was an exception to the rule. And I didn’t exactly tell him, but he’s pretty good at math, just like Drake. “But he would never tell a soul.”
“That’s not what bothers me, Charlotte. What upsets me is that you told George and not me.”
I leaned against the ladder. “I know, Drake. How many times do you want me to apologize? Do you think I’m proud that I kept Jameson a secret from you? That it was some big plot of mine? You don’t know how much the guilt has eaten me alive all these years,” I pleaded with him to understand. “But you hurt me. So much. It’s not a good excuse, I know. But you pushed me out of your life, and I thought you wanted to keep it that way.”
His jaw tightened, and those angular cheeks of his pulsed until they turned red. “That was the plan,” he mumbled. “But as hard as I tried, you never went away.”
I rubbed my chest. “Honestly, I could really do without you driving home how much you didn’t want me,” I snapped, on the precipice of bawling.
Drake’s eyes captured mine and held me captive in a way only he could. He demanded my attention for what he said next. “Charlotte, don’t you get it? I wanted you so damn bad. For three years I spent all my energy not crossing the line with you. Every day I told myself to fire you, thinking I couldn’t hold out any longer, but then you would show up and smile at me and I would find the willpower to withstand the temptation one more day, just to see you smile.”
The tears I had been holding back began to softly fall, one by one.
“Then we got stuck in this place.” He waved his hand around and let out a heavy breath. “And I gave in and ruined it all.”
“It didn’t have to ruin anything.” I wiped the tears off my cheeks.
“Charlotte,” he whispered. “I wouldn’t have been any good for you.”
He kept saying that, but I didn’t believe him. But he did, and I wasn’t going to try and change his mind. “I guess it’s a good thing I don’t want you,” I replied half-heartedly. He and Izzy were right—I was a terrible liar.
“For your sake, I wish that were true.”
Me too. Me too. I moved the ladder farther down the wall, my heart torn in shreds. He had no idea what a blow it was to me that he thought I was good enough to stay away from but not good enough for him to try and love. Was Jameson going to be good enough for him? I had literal chest pains thinking he would reject Jameson for any reason.
“Is George still alive?” Drake asked offhandedly.
“Yes.” I smiled to myself. “He lives in a little place downtown. He comes to dinner at least once a week. I know he’ll be glad to see you. He always said you would come back to this place,” I added.
“Why did he think that?”
I paused, wondering how to answer truthfully without revealing George’s lunatic theory that Drake and I were soul mates—meant to be. I went with, “Because he believes in you.” That about summed it up.
“Do you?” Drake begged to know.
My breath stilled, yet my pulse raced. My soul longed to believe in him, but I couldn’t be foolish anymore. I turned and met Drake’s anxious gaze. There was no denying I loved him and probably always would but . . . “I used to.”
Drake’s face fell and my heart took a big, big tumble.
Chapter Eleven
“Jameson, did you know that Drake is in a lot of movies?” I decided to help Drake out during dinner, as Jameson somehow rendered him incapable of speaking. He’d been basically following us around ever since Jameson had gotten home, saying hardly a word while he took notes on our child. Yep, the man had literally typed into his phone, Likes whole-grain crackers and cheddar cheese as an after-school snack. Also prefers Gala apples.
I had been doing a lot of internal eye-rolling. I mean, it was great he wanted to learn Jameson’s likes and dislikes, but he was doing nothing to actually get to know Jameson or interact with him.
Jameson set down the fork he had just twirled about a pound of spaghetti noodles onto. His widened eyes said, This could be interesting. He tapped his lips skeptically, in a way that said he was totally Drake’s son. “I didn’t see you in Elf.” Jameson loves that movie. We watched it a dozen times last month right before Christmas.
Drake lowered his glass and gave Jameson a half smile, which was pretty good for him. “I wasn’t in that movie. I do more action movies.”
