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“I am moving on with my life. I’m here with you and Jameson. What more do you want from me?” he spat.
I took a step back physically—and figuratively, I think. “I want you to be happy.” I truly meant that.
“I am happy with you. Why can’t we just leave it at that for now?”
“I’m happy that you’re here too, but I’m smart enough to know that even as magical as you think I am, it’s not going to fix the damage caused by your past. Eventually you’ll have to truly confront it. And whether you like it or not, you will have to confront what your future looks like with me.”
He cocked his left brow. “Are you giving me an ultimatum?”
“No. I’m not that kind of person.” I was hurt he would even think so. “I’m just being honest with you. You know what I want now. And if you don’t want that, it’s a good thing for both of us to know.” Even if the answer would break my heart. And the way he stood there, running his fingers through his hair and not saying anything, meant the odds were that I was likely in for a painful reality check.
He finally let out a frustrated sigh. “I want you and Jameson in my life; I don’t know what else you want me to say.”
I wanted him to say so much more, but I knew it wasn’t fair of me to expect him to come around to my way of thinking. Honestly, I didn’t want him to change his mind because of anything I said. If he didn’t want marriage and more children, it was best he own that. I would have to come to terms with it and decide where we went from there, as difficult as it would be for me.
“You don’t have to say anything else,” I whispered, longing to be alone with my thoughts and to nurse my wounds.
“I didn’t expect any of this. I’m doing the best I can,” he raised his voice.
“I know that.”
“Hell, Charlotte, we don’t even live in the same state.”
“All good points,” my voice broke, along with my heart. I felt like he was giving me a laundry list of why this wasn’t going to work out. I don’t think he meant to, but I heard the message loud and clear.
He noticed my shaky hands. His shoulders rose and fell. “I’m not trying to hurt you.”
I shoved my hands in my pockets, trying to control the trembling. I was hurting. Badly.
When I said nothing, he leaned down and kissed my burning cheek. “We’ll figure it out. I need to go return a few calls, and then I’m running lines with Avriel via Zoom,” he said, as if it would make everything better.
“Have fun.” It was all I could think to say. Meanwhile I was dying inside.
“I’ll be done in time to pick up Jameson.”
I nodded, for fear if I spoke the floodgates would burst.
He gave me a half smile before heading toward the stairs.
I stood and watched him walk away. It hit me that I was probably going to have to let him go. As much as I loved him, I didn’t want to be someone’s perpetual girlfriend. Someone he saw when his schedule would allow. I wanted to be his everything. Was that too much to ask?
Chapter Twenty-Four
“I’m sorry, but I have to ogle your man.” Celeste, one of the moms I had befriended from Jameson’s class, fanned herself.
I looked up from my notes on the snack bar table, where I was planning the Valentine’s Day party for Jameson’s school with the other room moms. I watched Drake skate with Jameson. They were adorable, racing around the old rink to the blaring eighties music and flashing strobe light. I loved how Drake seemed to fit into Jameson’s world. Yet, I wanted to tell Celeste that Drake wasn’t mine. It felt like he was a temporary loaner. Things were definitely tentative between us since yesterday’s big reveal, for lack of a better term. I swear, now Drake looked at me like I was some ovulating, baby-crazed monster who wanted to upend his world. He had barely touched me, and when we spoke it felt like forced politeness. He was probably afraid I would coax him into having sex. No worries there. I was so glad we hadn’t given into that temptation.
I took a sip of my Coke before responding, “Feel free to ogle.” She might as well, since everyone else was.
A couple of other moms at the table giggled.
“I can’t believe you used to work for him,” Bree said, as she snapped a picture of him. “What other famous friends do you have and are they single?”
“Bree, you’re married,” Celeste reminded her.
“I’m checking to see if Sam Heughan is still available and if he wants to give me a tour of his homeland, Scotland. Dave is welcome to come.” Dave was her husband.
