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“Just making sure Nate gets on his way,” Beau replies with a tight smile.
The guys follow me out to the driveway. Lucy licks my face, and my eyes film over again. I’ve never been a big animal person, but it’s hard not to love this dog.
Beau watches Nate climb inside the truck and turn the ignition. I hand Lucy to him through the driver’s side window. Our hands brush and my chest twists and I fall back, my body shaking.
Beau drapes an arm across my shoulders and pulls me close. I’m seriously annoyed with him for barging in and acting like an idiot, but I’m also glad he’s here. I let my head fall against his chest and focus on my breathing.
I try to focus on anything but the pain that radiates from the center of my chest through every inch of my being.
How did the best morning ever end like this?
How did I end up putting myself out there in a way I never have before with a client who’s marrying someone else?
Seriously, what is wrong with me? I’m embarrassed and ashamed.
I’m also exhausted.
Lucy puts her paws on the windowsill, ears flapping in the breeze. Nate puts the truck in gear, making the engine growl, and he holds up his hand. “Y’all take care.”
Beau shuffles the gravel at his feet. “Do me a favor, would you, and stay away from the Farm.”
“Beau,” I say.
“Understood.” Nate tips his head. “You have my word.”
With one last look at me, Nate drives away.
“I was in love with him,” I say softly, eyes trained on the ground. “I think I’m still in love with him.”
Beau takes a second to absorb the bomb I just dropped. The autumn sun slants across my shoulders, the juxtaposition of its warmth and the cold, clammy feeling I have inside making me shiver. Beau pulls me closer. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?” he asks at last. “I assumed you turned him down. After he asked me if he could date you, I never heard you mention him again.”
Drawing a sharp breath, I finally look up at my brother. “I was afraid y’all would take him away from me.”
His eyebrows curl upward. “Oh, Milly. Milly, I’m sorry I made you feel like you’d lose him if you let him into our family.”
“Saying you’ll be okay with us being together is much different than actually being okay with it.” I search Beau’s eyes. “I didn’t want to disappoint you. I didn’t want to add more to your plate with everything you and Annabel had going on at the time. Probably makes me a coward to admit it, but it was . . .” I sniff and cross my arms, then let out a breath. “Just easier, I guess, to keep the whole thing to myself.”
Beau’s mouth is a tight line, his lips edged in white. “Did I fuck this up for you? Be honest.”
“C’mon,” I say, scoffing. “We all fucked this up. Lots of little mistakes and the things we didn’t say—it added up.”
He squeezes my shoulder. “I’m sorry.” A beat of silence. “Annabel—she taught me that sometimes people don’t want you to solve their problems for them. They just want you to listen. I’m listening now, Milly. But know that I’ll do what I can to make this right when the time comes. Just say the word.”
“Milly!” We both startle at the shout. Hank and Samuel are scurrying up the hill toward my house, faces flushed with exertion. Hank is yelling, “Milly, Jesus Christ, are you all right?”
I narrow my eyes at them. Then I turn my gaze to Beau and shrug out of his grasp. “Just when I was warming up to you.”
“What?” he says, cheeks burning pink. “I called in reinforcements just in case—”
“You had to whoop Nate’s ass?” I ask incredulously. I stare my brothers down. “Y’all pay a lot of lip service to the idea that you’re not some hillbilly mafia, but clearly you’re full of shit.”
Samuel bends at the waist and puts his hands on his knees. “Just tryin’ to help.”
“I can take care of myself,” I snap.
Hank eyes me, hands on his hips as his chest barrels in and out. “When you hurt, we hurt.”
“No,” I say. “You hurt me. All of you, leave. Right now. You wanna play outlaws, fine. I’ll call the cops, then we’ll see how badass you idiots really are.”
“Milly,” Beau says.
“At least lemme make you some food,” Samuel adds. “If you’ve got some eggs, I can make a nice croque ma—”
“Leave.” I’m hysterical now, shaking with the effort to hold it somewhat together until I’m back inside the house. I make a beeline for the steps and take them two at a time. Flinging the door open, I hesitate when I hear Beau’s voice.
“You gotta let us make this right,” Beau repeats. “When you’re ready.”
