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Good for her. The lucky bitch didn’t carry memories of the cruelty the virus inflicted on children. The butterfly-printed sheets soaked in bloody vomit, tiny hands contorted in pain, their struggling, heart-wrenching, final gasps of air…
My grip tightened, aching to punish Michio for bringing this shit to the surface. The memories, jealousy, resentment, none of it would keep us alive.
Roark’s broad shadow hovered, his mouth uncharacteristically silent. Maybe he was disappointed in me, too. I released a staggering breath. I was a fighter, but I didn’t want to fight them.
Truth was, I knew why Michio had picked this moment to rile me. He was no longer distracted with healing Elaine, and in a few days, we would be out of the quiet mountains, our full attentions zeroed in on new dangers. This was the lull before the storm, and he was taking advantage of it.
Or maybe he was second-guessing his future, with me.
Cold sweat licked my palms. I relaxed my fingers and forced the words. “Stay with Elaine and share her bed with countless others. Or come with us and try your luck with the women we save. Either way, you will be sharing the mother of your children.”
The days of monogamy were gone, the ratio of men to women fucked to hell. Stand in line. Take a number. How would that work for a man who refused to share? And with others rutting before and after him, what were his chances for fatherhood?
The answers didn’t soothe and instead thickened in my throat. I ached for his happiness, and denying him filled my gut with loathing and shame.
My hand shook, and he reached for it, holding the blade against his neck and clamping down on my fingers as if to stop the trembling. His arms were free, yet he wasn’t fighting me. Hell, he was a master martial artist. I only bested him because he allowed it.
Pulling from his grip, I moved the blade from his throat and stabbed it into the dirt beside his head. I’d chosen three men, the three I trusted with my life, but maybe I hadn’t made that clear. “My body and my heart belong to my guardians. There will be no others for me.”
“Evie.” My name floated off his tongue like a prayer. His dark eyes searched my face, the compassion there as soft as the finger he now brushed across my lips. “I have no interest in Elaine or anyone else. I want you. Only you. With or without a child.”
I wanted to believe him, to forget this conversation ever happened. Would he still love me years from now, despite my refusal to give him children? As I pushed up from his chest and returned the knife to its sheath, doubt chewed at the edges of my mind.
His lips flattened and his face tightened as if he could read my thoughts. He touched the lock of hair that had fallen from my ponytail and brushed it away from my eyes. The sharpness in his gaze missed nothing, but it was the flex of severely-honed muscles beneath me that reminded me exactly how determined he could be.
I shifted to stand, but he gripped my thigh, holding me in place.
“Don’t run.” His voice was stiff, commanding.
“Running isn’t my thing.”
“Shutting us out is your thing.” His hand clenched on my leg. “Don’t.”
Us. Interesting word choice. I looked up at Roark and found him scratching the stubble beneath his jaw, his scowl directed at me.
And here came Jesse, gliding on silent feet despite the fury in his eyes. Great.
He dropped a knee beside mine, his low voice a thin edge. “Do I need to remind you what is prowling in these woods? Only takes one aphid to smell a cut, hear a branch snap”—he glanced at the broken bush beneath us—“and we’ll be fighting off dozens.” He leaned toward Michio, forearm on a bent knee. “Next time you decide to piss her off, wait till our perimeter’s in place.” He rose. “Stay here. And be quiet.” Then he was gone.
The arrogant ass was right. I’d lost my cool and put the entire group at risk.
I climbed to my feet and adjusted the carbine sling on my shoulder. “Go ahead, Roark. Say what you’re thinking.”
“Ye both need a good kick up the arse.”
Michio brushed off his pants and stepped beside Roark. “Some more than others.”
I scanned the trees for Jesse, waiting for whatever bizarre Irish insult would tumble out next. “And?”
Roark lifted his chin, his eyes as green as the glowing landscape. “Ye love us.”
More than they knew. “I never said that.”
He tapped my lips. “Your heart belongs to your guardians.”
Well, he had me there.
Darwin jumped out of the brush, tongue flapping and ears twitching. Seeing him so carefree replaced the lingering burn for a fight with a gentle kind of warmth. The virus only mutated humans, but aphids fed on all mammals. Darwin had escaped every aphid that ever came at him, but he couldn’t dodge a bullet. I hated it, but it was safer for him to stay behind with the Lakota.
