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I kept the gruesome memories of Annie and Aaron buried, but their animated spirits would forever live inside me. Sometimes I felt them so keenly it was as if they were still here, awakening the air with their laughter and crushing my chest with their hugs. “I miss her. I miss them both so damned much.”
“Me too.”
He’d only met the ghostly footprints of their former lives, yet they’d still managed to leave an unforgettable impact. Would they ever appear to him again? Or me? I didn’t think so. Their last visit felt painfully final.
A lifeless quiet settled around us. The pond seemed to absorb it, its depths muddied and dreary as if saddled with our impasse. We stood on the shore, breathing in unison, silent with our thoughts.
I could dispute the credibility of the visions. I could argue he fabricated all of it. Hell, I wanted to deny every hokey-ass premonition that had spewed from his mouth. I mean, come on. A divine child? From me? Would she be godlike in power? Were my fears about protecting a child not applicable to this hypothetical daughter? She’d have to be pretty damned mighty if she could save the future from evolving aphids.
It sounded ridiculous, far-fetched, and completely irrational.
But was it really?
In a few hours, there would no longer be a mutated creature in the animal clinic, and in its place a woman with human DNA. DNA that was unlocked by my blood. And I stood here now because I’d evaded multiple deaths. Miracles. Because Jesse had seen them, long before they happened.
I only had one life to give. What was it going to be? A cliff or a world-saving child? Jesse could physically catch me from a fall off a ledge, which was no doubt his plan. Just like all the times before. If I got pregnant, however, he wouldn’t be able to fix that.
But he could prevent it.
Maybe I could put this to rest with logic and sane reasoning. But I trusted my gut. That spiritual sense deep in my core had led me to my guardians. The same instinct told me to trust Jesse’s visions.
All I had to do was give birth to a savior and die in the process. Hell, might as well nail her to a cross and resurrect her three days later. How very biblical.
I touched Jesse’s hand where it curled against his thigh. “I don’t want to bring a baby into this world. Heaven knows, I’m no Virgin Mary.”
He huffed out a laugh. “No, you’re certainly not.”
“And I don’t want to die. But there’s more at stake here than me and my wants.”
He whirled on me. “What?” His brows slammed together. “What the fuck are you saying?”
“I’m scared, Jesse.” Even admitting it aloud knotted my stomach. “But this isn’t a decision we can make in a single conversation. We need to talk to Roark and Michio.”
“No.”
“Nothing good comes from circumventing group input. We’re in this together.”
“I shouldn’t have told you.” He shook his head, his jaw turning to steel. “I thought, after your confrontation with Michio, you would be sensible about this.” He trudged along the shoreline, shoving a hand through his hair. “Fuck.”
Moonlight reflected off his bow and quiver, which were strapped tightly to the sculpted contours of his back. With each stiff, decisive step he put between us, I could actually feel him rebuilding his emotional distance.
My breath slipped from my lungs, pausing at my lips, as I tried to find the right thing to say. He was angry, hurting, and I ached to console him.
“What do you want me to do?” I whispered across the ten or so yards between us.
“I want you to stay at my side.” His feet paused, his back rigid with tension. “And that’s the problem. The closer you are, the weaker I become.”
His words enveloped me in a powerful embrace. Jesse was the epitome of strength and ferocity. Not just his physique but the air that surrounded him. The world seemed to move at his will, in sync with the motion of his muscles.
He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked to the side, giving me his profile. “Just…don’t make decisions based on what I’ve told you.”
“Then I’ll continue to want you.” Like I had a choice. “I’ll keep pushing and kicking and pestering until I break down your damned walls.”
The skin around his mouth tightened, but I swear there was a ghost of a smile there, too.
“And what do I do when I encounter a cliff? Why did you tell me about that?”
“Because it’s ambiguous as fuck.” He angled his head back to look at me, his cheekbones casting dark shadows beneath his hard gaze. “A cliff isn’t specific like, oh I don’t know, the dungeon in Malta. There are cliffs everywhere.” He jerked his arms out, indicating the landscape, as he turned to face me. His voice rose a few notches. “You could die on any one of the ridges, ravines, or embankments we come across. I told you so I could train you how to survive the fucking fall.”
