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Because he was an asshat, he never really thought about meeting someone nice enough and that because the whole thing was just a shithead bet, she’d be hurt. By him. He never thought it was possible to hurt another person because he’d always been on the receiving end of it. He didn’t actually think that he’d find a nice, genuine person. Ever.
“Fuck you. I called you to come over here and have a beer and I even offered chips, like a real damn hostess, and you put your disgusting feet on my table and tell me that I’m losing my own bet.”
Alex shrugged. “What can I say? I guess I picked a good one.”
“She still has time to tell you that being a broke ass isn’t her idea of sexy. She probably is just going on this date with you out of pity. Or because she’s super ultra lonely and hasn’t been laid in a while and you’re her last desperate hope.”
“You’re seriously something, you know that? Muffy is a nice girl. I’m sure she gets laid whenever she wants.” Alex thought about the kiss he’d tried to steal from her. He was damn lucky his nose hadn’t bruised when he woke up. There was no embarrassing evidence he had to explain away.
“Muffy?” Jay scoffed. “Muffy? Her name is Muffy? Okay, now I know you’re shitting me. She’s not real. This is all fake.”
“No, her name really is Muffy.”
“Who would name their kid Muffy? That’s the worst name I’ve ever heard.”
Alex seriously wanted to try his hand at breaking Jay’s nose at the moment but that wouldn’t be friendly or good sportsmanship, so he refrained. “Yeah, well, she thinks so too. She actually made a few jokes about it. I’m sure people make fun of her all the time.”
“Muffy? Seriously. Oh. My. God.”
“It’s not that funny.”
“I disagree. It’s pretty damn funny.”
“You’re a douche.”
“My name isn’t Muffy.”
“She’s nice. She doesn’t deserve that from you.”
“She’s not here.”
“No, but I am.”
Jay paused. He stared at Alex for a minute before he picked up his beer, which he didn’t seem to mind had left a sweaty ring all over the coffee table, probably a mark that wouldn’t go away, and took a long chug. He sighed, slammed the empty bottle back down, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
“You’re serious? You went on one date with this girl and you’re already defending her?”
“I just don’t think you should make fun of her name behind her back. She was nice. Really nice. It’s rude.”
“Yeah, but man… this is us. I didn’t mean anything by it. You know that I call a spade a spade and that’s a really, really unfortunate name to have.”
“She can’t help it.”
“She could change it.”
“I’m sure it’s jerks like you that make her want to.”
Jay’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “It was one date and you’re sitting here defending her like you… like you actually like her.”
“I’m just trying to be the bigger person here.” Alex picked up his beer, hoping to divert Jay’s attention. It didn’t work. Suddenly it felt like the guy’s huge living room was closing in on him.
“No. This isn’t about the bet. Don’t change the subject. It’s more than that. You- seriously, man, you can’t fall for this girl. That’s not what the bet is about. Everything would be a lie. How would you explain that to her? That this guy she thinks she knows was actually stringing her along the whole time just to prove a point? Which I’m sure, by the way, that she will prove with a little more prodding. No matter how nice she is, she’s not going to want a relationship or even to jump in bed with some dude who is completely broke. That’s a real turn off.”
“You’re going to lose,” Alex said, trying to shift the topic of conversation without Jay realizing. “She is nice. She’s going to go on more dates with me because I’m me, not because I can treat her to nice things.”
“It’s going to get old. I give it a week before the novelty wears off.”
“She’s. Not. Like. That.”
“I get that you think so, but one date isn’t enough time. There’s plenty of time for you to be wrong yet.” Luckily, Jay took the bait and the conversation shifted to what Alex was planning for their next date, not what his feelings were.
Which he didn’t have. He didn’t have feelings. He admired Muffy. He thought she was nice. He liked that she had a good job and supported herself, even if she thought that was boring. He liked that she was fascinated by the stars and that she didn’t give a shit that his truck smelled like rot and burning oil. That she didn’t bat an eye when she paid for their dinner. That she offered to take him to the hospital and foot the bill because she was so worried about him.
