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“I’m not fussy about beer. I just know what I like. I’ll be sure to keep the advice in mind. And fish and chips seem rather safe, given that this place is an Irish pub and Irish pubs are known for their stellar fish and chips. Are you the kind of person who just tries the most obvious thing on the menu and nothing else?”
Alex tensed and Jay did the same beside him. He wanted to turn and look to see if the guy’s eyes were bulging out the way Muffy’s had widened, but then Jay let out a bark of laughter.
“Oh darling, believe me. I know what I like.” He let his eyes linger on Carla’s face, and lower, for just a second too long. Luckily, their server had the most impeccable timing on the planet.
She took their orders, thankfully saving anyone from having to say anything. Muffy ordered the fish and chips. Obviously, she wanted to keep the peace. Alex ordered it too, because he hadn’t really looked at the menu long enough to know what he wanted. Jay, because he was a bastard, ordered a burger with yam fries. Carla asked the waitress what was best, and on her recommendation, ordered some sausage dish and a light beer that was brewed in house.
She shot Jay a look after their waitress left but said nothing.
Jay cleared his throat. “So… Muffy. Alex says that you guys met online.”
“Yeah.” Muffy’s cheeks went an even brighter shade of pink. “I’m not really that great at meeting people in person. Online just seems a little… safer. Easier, I guess. I mean, people are looking for basically the same thing on there.”
“Are they?”
Alex slammed his foot into Jay’s under the table making him cough, nearly spilling the beer in his hand. “Sorry. Of course. I just haven’t tried it myself,” he quickly amended.
“No? Where do you meet women then? The bar?” Carla scoffed.
“That’s not important,” Muffy cut in. She glanced between them. “How long have you guys been friends?”
“For a very long time. Since we were in high school.” Jay elbowed Alex. “I was the one person who stayed friends with him even when he lived in his parent’s basement for all those years.”
“Jay, seriously…” Alex cut in. He wished he’d never taken Jay up on the horrible offer of meeting Muffy.
He’d gone over and over it in his head, a way to try and salvage things. A way to try and tell her who he really was without hurting her. He didn’t want to lose her.
“I guess he’s still kind of a loser. He told me that you had to pick up the tab when you guys went out that first time. Turns out his idea of a romantic date was to drive you out of the city like a creeper to stare at the sky.”
Muffy dropped her eyes while Carla’s cheeks went scarlet, but Alex was pretty sure it was from rage, not embarrassment. “That’s okay. I enjoyed it. And the tab wasn’t a problem.”
“Jay,” Alex ground out. “How about while we’re at it I tell them some embarrassing stories about you? Like the time you drank yourself nearly to the point of killing yourself and you lost all control of pretty much every bodily function and pooped yourself and it took six of us to stuff you in through your bedroom window and then come in and make sure you were clean and not dead, so your parents wouldn’t find out, because they literally would have finished you off since the alcohol didn’t.”
Carla snickered while Muffy studied her hands, tightly clasped in her lap. She was clearly horrified.
“Oh Jesus, I was probably all of twelve at that time.”
Jay breathed in and out so hard that it sounded like a freight train sitting next to him at the table. Surprisingly, Carla flashed Jay a smile and shrugged. “I’m sure we all have a couple of stories like that. How high was the window?”
“It was on the second floor, probably about fifteen feet up.”
Carla snorted. “How the hell did you get him up all that way, uh- soiled and probably passed out?”
“We heaved two guys up and they pulled while we pushed from the bottom. Luckily I was one of the ones on top.”
“Well, look at you now. You’ve certainly filled out well. Bet they couldn’t haul you up into any window now.”
Jay took a long pull of his beer. For once in his life, he remained silent. Alex wasn’t sure if Carla’s compliment was genuine or if it was some kind of underhanded way to get back at Jay, but either way, he applauded her.
“I don’t have any drunk stories like that,” Muffy said quietly. “I’ve never been that drunk before. I- I guess I don’t like the way it feels and certainly not when I was young. My parents would have killed me.”
