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I force myself to moan his name, the single word coming out in a hoarse whisper. It’s lifeless and quiet. He shudders against me, his hips pressed tight against mine as he empties himself inside me.
I let out a sigh, knowing that it’s over.
Both physically and mentally. I thought maybe if we had sex, if he kissed me, if we connected intimately things would be different, but it’s clear were past repair.
If I wanted Taj, I wouldn’t have been envisioning Christian. Taj pulls away, his chest heaving. His lips graze my forehead, and it takes everything inside me not to pull away from him. I know I have to end it now, but I’m not sure how or when I’m going to do it.
Moving from between my legs, the connection between our bodies snaps.
All that can be heard are our harsh breaths filling the room. Even as I lie here on the mattress with my boyfriend in front of me, my thoughts are still on Christian.
In my mind, he is all I can feel, all I can see. I know it’s wrong, and it makes no sense, but I’m drawn to him. I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s almost pathetic.
I wish it was Christian who brought me home tonight because even I know he wouldn’t have left me so unsatisfied. Of course I didn’t come, but that doesn’t matter.
I’m not going to tell Taj. I’ll wait until he leaves, and then I’ll finish the job myself. Staring at the back of his head, I know that no matter what, I’m going to have to end this.
Neither of us deserves to carry on this way.
9
CHRISTIAN
Is this what it’s like for her, what she’s settled for? A mediocre fuck from a mediocre guy in this ridiculous excuse of a life she’s chosen. To be touched by a motherfucker without a clue on how to read her body. To give herself to a bitch made man, who’s got more than Siân’s sweet pussy on his mind.
I tighten my hand around the cuff link, my nails digging into my palms. Does she know? How long has he been fucking her best friend under her nose?
This is why I had to find her. This is why she needs me. To protect her and give her the attention she deserves. To make her see that fate is the only thing that matters. She was mine a long time ago, and to know, to see with my own eyes that someone else has touched her—fucked her—sets a fire ablaze deep inside me.
Taj climbs off her, a grin plastered on his pitiful face. As he scoots to the edge of the bed to dress, Siân lies lazily against her pillow, uncertainty and dissatisfaction written in the lines of her expression.
She didn’t come. I knew that from the way she moaned his name, weak, unenthused, and lifeless. But watching the way she’s staring at the back of his head, her face void of the bliss that usually follows a good lay, it’s loud and clear.
And this sorry son of a bitch doesn’t even notice. Yet he carries himself as if it’s a job well done. He needs to go before I lose every ounce of composure and gut him like I’ve been dying to do from the moment I knew he existed.
But instead, he takes his time dragging his clothes back onto his body. “Wow.” He holds his shirt out in front of him, inspecting it. “I’ve never seen you like that before.” He fingers the spaces where his buttons used to be. “So aggressive. I liked it. Maybe we should fight more often,” he says and glances at her over his shoulder.
Siân gives him a fake smile, and I realize she does that a lot. The first night at the bar and again tonight at the club. She doesn’t love him, and it’s clear to anyone with eyes that she’s bored with him. Yet she hasn’t ended things—why?
He playfully touches her outstretched leg, and her grin grows even faker. And again, this self-absorbed bastard misses the discomfort that’s evident in her features. Her oppression reads loud and clear. Even I, a man with no feelings, can see it.
“You okay?” he asks when she doesn’t respond.
She barely nods.
She’s lying to you, dick.
“Good,” he quips and pulls his damaged shirt up over his shoulders. “Walk me to the door?”
Siân sits up and grabs the T-shirt resting at the bottom of her mattress when I came in. The sheet she attempted to cover herself with falls around her waist, and she slips the oversized shirt over her head. I can’t help but admire her naked torso, her full breasts on display for me.
She climbs from the bed, and the two disappear from view. A second later, I creep out of the bathroom, peeking around the corner to be sure I’m not caught. The coast is clear. I can hear the door open and Siân’s voice carrying up the stairs.
