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When I could no longer hold myself up to watch this magnificent man’s magic, he rose up. Muscles corded with his movement as he crawled to place the head of his shaft at my opening. Slowly, he pushed inside me.
My cry was stifled by his kiss. Thankfully, the storm outside continued to rage on and provided the cover we needed. But neither one of us seemed to care that my sister or her husband could walk in on us.
I tasted my orgasm on his tongue and that strangely wound me up again. I rocked my hips, urging him forward, but he took his time. His eyes were closed tight and our kissing stopped, as he seemed to be holding back as if memorizing this moment.
When the tip of him hit the end of me, there was a confusing moment between pleasure and pain. He pulled back, not as slow, but not fast either, before he moved back in. It was like he was being careful, but I didn’t want or need that. I bucked my hips a couple of times before his eyes opened wide and he began moving in earnest. Rolling his hips, he dragged the tip of himself against that spot deep inside that made me thrash.
Although his pace had picked up, I was in need of something faster and harder. I met his thrust, trying to force his pace when he finally broke and gave me what I wanted. He thrust in me with purpose, hard and deep, hard and deep, his eyes colored in the amber light from the fire that crackled beside us. I came again, and it seemed to last a lifetime. Just when the waves that crested over me began to subside, he came in a guttural thrust.
When he went limp on top of me, it was only a moment before he rolled so we lay side by side. Still inside me, he kissed me with a sweetness that didn’t match the furious lovemaking seconds before.
But there in his arms, I finally found the peace that had evaded me for days.
When I woke, he was on his back with me tucked at his side. He’d covered us with the afghan from the couch, but I still shivered. The fire had burned down to nearly embers, leaving a distinct chill in the air. I got up to get a blanket from the room I’d been using. I snagged the first piece of clothing I came across, his still damp shirt. But without much light, I didn’t want to search and be caught naked.
After grabbing the blanket, I draped it over him before listening at my sister’s door. The faint sounds of breathing could be heard. I wasn’t sure of the time, as the sky was still dark, due to night or cloud cover, I wasn’t sure.
I crept back over to the man who had loved me in ways I would never forget. I stared at him a second longer before peeling off his soggy shirt. I began to dress, putting on my bra and panties, then my dress before adding another log and kindling to the dying fire.
Then I picked up his clothes and draped them over the side of a chair nearest to the hearth to help dry them. He hadn’t stirred, whereas I felt restless.
I struggled with what I’d done. I didn’t regret it, only the fallout to come. I walked out the back. The rain had ended sometime in the night. It was very cold and the reality I needed. Snow was falling lightly as the midnight sky began to lighten to a storm cloud day as the sun began its appearance on the horizon.
I thought about the man inside and my tears burned hot paths down my face. My tears weren’t only for him. I cried for the other man who would never forgive me when he found out what I’d done. Whereas I’d wanted so badly to stay in that bubble in time and not face the truth of the day.
The need he’d come to me with couldn’t only be answered with a choice. Any choice had the potential of breaking me, but I made it anyway. I hoped we’d all be able to live with that decision. There was no forgiveness for this transgression.
My steps made lasting impressions in the new fallen snow. A gentle breeze moved what was left of the unharvested cornfield to sway as if in a dance. The sounds that played through the abandoned stalks left to feed the animals were its own melody. It sang of love and loss, no right or wrong.
When the rays of the day fully emerged from its slumbering, penetrating the heavy clouds, light created a beam across the fields. I turned to go face the song of betrayal that awaited me.
