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“No hope. To be honest, I think it’s time to look for something different,” she told them as they stood by the sidewalk.
Other people were saying goodbye to Marcy and Mike, and she couldn’t help but think about having to repeat this memorial next year at the same time. It was depressing, besides the fact that there was nothing to look forward to but this. All her friends she had had moved on, gotten married, or left in search of careers or lives outside of Scrantonville. Alana felt like a lost cause.
“What are you thinking about doing? I hear that Lance Masters is looking for a personal assistant in the law office in town,” Jim told her.
She shook her head and then looked down toward the road that headed out of town and deeper into Texas Hill Country.
“Alana?” Deanna said her name, and then she felt her hand on her shoulder.
She didn’t want to upset them, but it would be better to let them all know she was going to leave town. That she needed to breathe.
She felt the tears in her eyes. Leaving Scrantonville wasn’t going to be so easy.
“I’m thinking about doing some traveling.”
“Traveling? Like to where?” Deanna asked.
“Out of Scrantonville and deeper into Texas. Maybe even hop around a bit and check out places that Gabe and I talked about. I don’t know.” She felt that thick lump in her throat as she thought about Gabe.
“Honey, it’s dangerous out there. You’ve never been out of Scrantonville. You can’t just go off on your own,” Deanna told her.
“I’ll be fine,” she told them.
“Deanna is right. You should reconsider. It’s not like it seems in books and in movies. It’s not so easy traveling on your own. You’re an attractive young woman, and there are people who would take advantage of that,” Jim told her.
“I can take care of myself. I’ve been doing it for quite some time, remember?” she said in a very firm tone. Both Jim and Teddy appeared uncomfortable, and Deanna looked upset again.
“Listen, I get it. Doing this yearly memorial and running the fundraising event can get overwhelming. But you don’t need to leave the people who care about you and the place where you’re safe.”
“Don’t tell me that, Deanna. You don’t understand.” Alana began to walk away and then turned back toward her.
“I can’t breathe here. I can’t do anything but think about Gabe. Everywhere I turn, everything I do, I see him or think of him.”
“Aw, honey, that will change. With time, it will get easier.”
She shook her head at Deanna.
“No. It’s been three years. I’m going to be twenty-three soon, and what do I have to show for my life? There has to be something more. I can’t imagine living alone forever and dying here. Hell, I’m dying right now, Deanna. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t live like this.”
The tears began to flow, and Deanna pulled Alana into her arms and hugged her.
“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. I know it. I understand. Is this your final decision?” she asked, and Alana heard Deanna begin to say something else but change her mind.
“I’m suffocating. I have to leave.”
Deanna nodded, and Jim and Teddy looked upset, but they supported her and offered any help she might need in the planning.
“I appreciate that, but I have to do this on my own.”
“You call us if you need anything. Understand?” Teddy asked her.
She nodded and accepted their hugs before she watched them walk away. The decision was made. She was leaving Scrantonville and headed wherever her destiny led her.
Chapter 1
“I don’t know what else we can do for him. He’s non-responsive to anything the doctors and therapists have suggested,” Jaxon Brothers told his three friends, Geno, Gator, and Jeb.
“It’s so damn frustrating. To see him like this after the fight he put up to get through that cluster-fuck of a mess. Those damn terrorists fucked with his head,” Gator added in his thick Southern accent. He was from New Orleans and was one big, bad-ass soldier, all six feet four inches of him, with muscles upon muscles, and that thick, hard voice that could cut through any crowd. Jaxon admired his friend, who was more like a brother, just as Geno, Jeb, and Gabe were.
