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He stared at her and lowered the knife. “What the fuck are you doing? Snooping around? Trying to get a glimpse of a man who’s losing his fucking mind?” he yelled at her.
She backed away and he threw the knife at the wall. It hit the sheetrock and stuck alongside others there. She shivered with fear. He was so pissed off with himself and, more than likely, the out-of-control feeling he had. It was a lot like Zinc and how he’d looked.
“Get the fuck out of h
ere. I could have killed you if I was lost in it.”
“You wouldn’t have. You’re not losing it. What you feel is normal,” she whispered.
He stepped toward her in a combative way, and she held tight. “What the fuck do you know?” he yelled at her, and she cringed at the loud voice.
She felt the tears in her eyes. She remembered Zinc and how combative he’d been, how cruel and mean with his words, because he was scared and on the defensive. He hadn’t wanted to seem weak, especially not in front of her. She missed her brother, despite those hard times and the fear she had of him.
Jessup slammed his hand against the wall near her head. “Get out. I don’t need your sympathy.”
“Jessup.” Nina heard Corona’s voice. She glanced to him, and he squinted his eyes at her in anger, seemingly pissed that was she was in this room.
Jessup had another knife, placing it a few inches away from her cheek.
“I don’t need this. You all have to leave me alone. I’m nothing anymore. I can’t even protect my team members. I’ve lost focus. I’m not needed anymore. I’m not part of the team anymore.”
“That’s not true,” Corona said, and then Atlanta and Freeman were there, too. “We do need you.”
“Put down the knife, and we’ll talk,” Atlanta said to him and then gave Nina an annoyed look. He was going to reprimand her for coming in here.
Jessup shook his head and looked at Nina. “I’m nothing of importance anymore.” He hurled the knife at the wall next to the others and roared in anger. He threw his arms in the air in frustration at the situation and his feelings, heading toward the bed and falling onto it.
“Nina, now,” Corona whispered the order, but one look at Jessup and how down and sad he was had Nina stepping away from the wall and away from the door.
“But I need you, Jessup,” she said to him.
She slowly walked toward the bed and held Jessup’s gaze. His brown eyes were filled with tears and anger. He looked so sad, so angry and in need. She knew that look, and it pulled on her heart and reminded her of Zinc.
She knelt down on the floor.
“I need you.” She absorbed the sight of the scars on his chest and his shoulder. Gunshot wounds, like Zinc had. There were scars and old gashes, the body of a warrior.
“Go away, Nina,” Jessup said, his voice cracking.
“You protected me. I still need you, and so does the team.”
“I’m no good to any of you now. Not like this. It’s over.”
He sounded so depressed, and it scared her. She thought of the soldiers who had no one to talk to and confide in, who decided to end their lives because they were overwhelmed with nightmares, fears, and inadequacies after experiencing war. She wouldn’t let him hurt himself. Every soldier had a right to be loved, cared for, and helped after all they did to protect this country and the people living here. She reached out and touched his arm.
“I won’t leave you. I’m not going anywhere.” She held his gaze.
Jessup closed his eyes. He was so exhausted.
Nina remained there as the others took positions around the room. She wouldn’t look at them. She didn’t want them telling her to leave or talking about what had happened this morning in the kitchen.
It seemed like only minutes later that Jessup was tossing and turning, moaning and grunting and then fighting to get free of a nightmare. He had fallen asleep. Even she had dozed off as she leaned against the bed. She wouldn’t leave him, and she wasn’t going to now, either.
She reached out and caressed his arm. “Wake up, Jessup. You’re safe now. You’re not there,” she said to him over and over again.
“Leave him alone. He doesn’t respond. He gets a little violent when he wakes up and realizes he’s not in the middle of a battle zone,” Corona said.
As she turned to look at him, strong arms grasped her and covered her body. The weight of Jessup on her and the sound of her cry, cut off by her lack of ability to breathe, caused all the men to jump up.
