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“This is so cool. I just can’t get over it. Making your own jellies and selling them with the Brazos name on it. It’s so old-fashioned and comforting. You’re so lucky to have such a large family.”
“You and your sister don’t have any family at all?” Dora asked.
Lois looked at her and shook her head. “Valentina and I basically raised ourselves. We don’t know our dad. He took off when my mom was pregnant with me.”
Dora stopped what she was doing. “That must have been rough on all of you and especially your mom.”
“She didn’t handle it well. Got involved with one jerk after the next and then she hit the bottle. I hated going home, and once Valentina graduated from the police academy, Mom died in a car accident. That was it for us. Valentina took over taking care of me, or at least trying to.” She picked at the edge of the wooden table.
“I didn’t make it easy on her. I thought I was so mature, and could handle anything. Yet it turned out I was a lot weaker than I wanted to admit.”
“You mean because of Kenny’s father?” Dora asked and kept working while she talked to her. Lois found it easy to talk to Dora. She was so kind and understanding.
Lois shook her head as she leaned back in the chair. “I was so young and stupid. He said all the right things and made me feel loved and appreciated. I never had that. I’m not as strong as Valentina. She’s always ready to fight for what’s right and to not give up. I thought I was like that, too, until Caden. He was dominant, controlling, and always in charge. Part of me needed that. At least that’s what the therapist tells me,” she said and then felt a little awkward saying that.
“I think we all can appreciate a man or men who are dominant and in control. That masculinity and toughness helps to make us feel safe and protected. A woman shouldn’t have to be ready to fight all the time or to defend herself physically. A good man, a tough man who is protective of her will take on that role because he cares.”
“A normal, good man might have that thought process and mean it, but then there’re men like Caden. He used power, manipulation, and force to get his point across, and I couldn’t see it. Valentina did. She didn’t like him from the start and they butted heads a time or two. When I got pregnant I saw the disappointment in her eyes. It was only for a moment, but I saw it. Again, she’s a fighter, and so determined to make life a success. She didn’t want me to end up like my mother. She’s the reason why I survived.”
“Well you’re both lucky to have one another. I wasn’t so lucky with one of my sisters. I have three, but one of them took the wrong path. She wouldn’t accept help from any of us, not even my father and mother.”
“What happened to her?”
“She wound up with the wrong man. He sucked the life out of her. She chose him over the family and it’s been years since we talked to her. We don’t get to see our nieces and nephews, and the last we heard, she still ends up in the ER every now and then.”
Lois felt the tears fill her eyes.
“He’s abusive?”
Dora nodded.
“Kills me to think about it, to know she has suffered all these years and refused all of our help. She got so caught up in his control and power that she lost herself. She lost that fight, that desire to not only live a good, safe life, but to also provide one for her kids. I hate to even think about any of the abuse they sustained.”
Lois thought about that day again. It was constantly on her mind—the fear of getting caught up in emotions, the power Caden had over her.
She couldn’t believe it when he called her the week before and demanded she do a job for him. He knew where the nursery school was. He knew where Valentina worked and had taken pictures of her and said he could take her out in one sniper shot, and the same with Kenny, if she didn’t cooperate. She went and did that job. She’d seen that man, Cornero, and when Cornero had touched her and told her that she was going to be his and he was going to take care of her, she’d lost it.
She told Caden over the phone and he’d threatened to hurt Valentina and Kenny at the apartment. She wasn’t going to let him get away with that. She didn’t want to be a victim anymore, a doormat for him to walk all over. She had to make a stand and stop him from coming around.
She hadn’t thought through her decision. She let her anger lead her as she headed to the spot she knew he’d placed the drugs and guns. He was going to screw Cornero over and take off. He didn’t even need her. He had basically been handing her over to Cordero to be his slut, yet he wanted her to know that she would always be his no matter what. Maybe he wanted her one last time?
She was angry and disgusted as she took the drugs and guns and hid them elsewhere. When she got to the apartment, she hadn’t expected him to be so angry or to have locked Valentina in the bathroom while Don held poor baby Kenny on the floor.
Lois felt a hand on her hand and she gasped and jumped up from the seat.
“Oh, God. I’m so sorry. I was lost in thought. So silly of me,” she said and smiled and then went over to the pot to stir the cooking berries.
“You can tell me to mind my own business, but I like you, Lois. I like your sister and the kids and think of you like family.”
“That’s so nice of you,” she whispered and continued to stir.
Dora stood up and walked closer.
“I think you’re hurting, still. Maybe feeling like you’re alone even though you’re not. I want you to know that I’m here for you if you need to talk. I know you have a professional you speak with, but we all need good friends, too.”
Lois smiled.
“Thank you, Dora. I appreciate that. I’m just trying to live day by day without any great expectations. Just hoping to stay safe and be able to provide for Kenny so he can have a full, happy, and successful life.”
