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His mind wandered as he drove north on Eighteenth through the heart of Center City. Force of habit almost had him turn right on Race Street, his usual route when driving from Rittenhouse Square to the Roundhouse-the decades-old Philadelphia Police Headquarters, at Eighth and Race, which was built in a circle design and was said not to have a single straight wall, including in the elevators.
Payne stopped himself from turning just as he’d flipped the flimsy turn-signal stalk-If it wasn’t for me noticing that, I’d have automatically made the turn, and I really don’t feel like seeing the Roundhouse right now in my frame of mind-then jerked the wheel back left to stay in his northbound lane. This act earned him the wave of the driver in the Chevy sedan behind him-the “wave” consisting of but a single digit and complemented with a burst of horn.
Chalk another one up to Ford.
And maybe score one for the New York tags.
That guy probably thinks I’m just a poor schmuck lost in his rental car.
If I’d been in the Porsche, he’d have ridden my bumper and his horn forever.
Two blocks later, he turned east on Vine Street and followed it to Broad, then hung a left on Broad. A few blocks later, crossing Spring Garden, he glanced to the right at Lodge No. 5 of the Fraternal Order of Police-the cops’ labor union-and wasn’t surprised to see the building dark and the parking lot empty.
Farther north on Broad, however, he was surprised to see that another building was being more or less renovated-residents trying against the odds to seed some good in another neighborhood that long had been and, if history was any indicator, probably would remain blighted.
The decay of the city depressed him, and that caused him to think about the reason why he lived in Philly anyway.
Matt Payne, who had grown up in the wealthy comfort of Wallingford, outside Philadelphia proper, lived in Philly because he had to: It forever had been a rule that in order to apply to be a member of the Philadelphia Police Department you had to show proof that you had been a legal resident of the City of Philadelphia for at least one year prior.
But recently that fifty-year-old rule had been changed somewhat. And there were at least a couple very good reasons for that, not the least of the which was that the Thin Blue Line was getting thinner and thinner in Philly. The city needed not only to recruit more cops-and, it went without saying, more good cops, “good” clearly meaning candidates who were best qualified-but needed to actually hire those recruited and then retain them after their probationary period. Preferably for twenty or more years, until retirement.
When cops did quit the force, the City of Philadelphia Office of Human Resources approached them with a one-page form, “No. HR-106-B, Questionnaire, Upon Separation of Civil Service Employee,” the ultimate purpose of which was to learn of any possible problems that existed and, it was hoped, could be corrected. While it certainly was too late to stop the man or woman from quitting, the information from the completed form might help fix what had caused their decision to leave the force in the first place.
Or, at least, so went the logic of the HR midlevel bureaucrat who had come up with the idea of the form, which had come to be known as the Don’t Let the Doorknob Hit You in the Ass Exit Interview. It was arguable if the form had effected any genuinely helpful changes in policy, or if it just created some paper-pushing, number-crunching bureaucrat-or bureaucrats, plural-with job security.
Matt had heard time and again that it cost the city significant money to train the new cops. Particularly during the recruits’ time in the academy, where it still managed to surprise even the most hardened of the veteran instructors how many recruits only six months prior had not, for example, ever had a driver’s license, or had not handled a firearm-or both. Thus, the particular recruits had to be taught the basics of driving an automobile and firing a pistol before moving on to more refined skills required of a Philadelphia Police Officer in the execution of his or her duties when using a vehicle or a loaded weapon.
Maybe even, Matt thought with a grin, when using a car and gun at the same time.
Matt also had heard that more than a few of those who either had quit or had turned down offers to join the force, when polled for their reason or reasons why, had said that chief among them was having to live-and try to raise a family-in, as one wrote, “the very crime-infested cesspool of a city” they would have been sworn to protect.
That sort of description was hard to hear, particularly for one who loved Philadelphia as much as Matt did. But hearing the truth often was hard, and Matt knew that the crime-infested cesspool was not limited to the ghettos. There was plenty of crime to go around. People were being robbed and raped and stabbed from South Philly to Far Northeast, even in Center City.
Bad guys are equal-opportunity offenders.
And so the city officials in their sage way found it within themselves to change that requirement for joining the police department-yet, in their usual half-assed manner, went only so far as to waive the one-year prior-residence requirement, allowing the applicant a six-month period after being hired to become a resident.
So every cop still has to reside in the city.
And I’ve never understood that.
A lot of cities allow you to live elsewhere than in the actual city you serve, say within a half hour of your assignment.
That forty-grand salary a Philly police officer recruit gets could stretch further in the suburbs.
Then again, a lot of cities like Philly wanted their cops close and handy to their crime-infested cesspool…
Matt’s mind, as he continued northbound on Broad, wandered back to his conversation with Chad Nesbitt.
Hell, there’re a lot of things I don’t understand.
Starting with what’s going on now with Chad?
And it was Skipper-J. Warren Olde-who jumped into that pool at the Philly Inn. One helluva cannonball.
Now, there’s a real dipshit. Always had some con going, thinking he was more clever than he really was, and sometimes getting bit in the ass because of it.
Not a bad guy, and could be funny, especially drunk, which lucky for him was often.
