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“You sleeping okay?”
“Eh.” She attempted a smile. “I hoped you’d come down. I kept trying to phone you yesterday, to say you ought to, but your line was always busy.”
“Talking to friends.”
She propped her cheek on one hand and tapped a blue candlestick, making the golden flame tremble and then attain its height again.
“Was that you at the bookstore this afternoon?”
Renata blanked her face.
“Wasn’t sure if it was you or not. You had sunglasses on.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I had a lot on my mind.”
“I kind of figured.”
“You got here okay, though?”
“Well, they’re good people here; they help out as much as they can.”
“Are you taking it okay?”
“Don’t know what okay is. I’m sad. I’m lonesome for him. I’m angry with him for doing it, and angrier with myself for not being able to stop it.” Atticus thought and then he imagined blood on his son and he wiped his eyes with the heel of his palm. He forced his lips together to keep them still.
Renata said, “I cried myself out.”
Atticus sighed. “You get used to these things. But they still twist you up pretty tight.”
“I know.”
“You ever consider having children, Renata?”
She shook her head.
“I meant in the future.”
“I understood.”
“Children give you a second chance to get things right. You grow up all over again. But you’re so dang responsible. We worried all the time about our boys. Even the thought of my kids catching colds used to get me half frenzied.”
“Scott loved you very much,” Renata said.
“Well, I thought the world of him. Hope he knew that.” Atticus brought the right side of his robe over his pajama top, gathering it tight again. “I hate the idea of it being hasty. You’d like to think he gave it some thought at least.”
She seemed tuned out for a moment, as if hearing a hushed conversation in another room. And then she said, “Lately I haven’t been privy to his thoughts. We’ve been apart a lot.”
“You slept here off and on, though, didn’t you? With Scott?”
She hesitated before she admitted, “We had an arrangement.”
“Stuart and you.”
She hesitated again, then nodded.
“Your clothes here is how I knew. And no sheets on the other bed.”
“It wasn’t just me. Scott partied a lot.”
