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“Hey. I know I’m late. I’m coming. I’m sorry, I got held up,” he says before I can get a word in.
“Do you really have to leave so soon?” I hear a female voice say in the background.
Bianca.
“Yeah. Yeah. I’ll be there in ten.”
“But—” she says, but she’s cut off by Haze hanging up.
He’s with Bianca. That’s probably where he’s been these past few days. I should’ve known.
A new message comes through almost right away.
Haze: Thanks, I owe you one.
Winter: You do know she’s head over heels in love with you?
Haze: I mean… It’s not my fault I’m irresistible
Winter: You need to stop playing with people’s feelings.
Haze: It’s not playing if I’m completely honest with her. She knows I don’t do romance.
Winter: But she does. She loves you. How would you feel if you were constantly around a person you like without ever truly being with them?
Haze: Idk. Never experienced it.
Winter: You keep telling yourself that. No texting period begins now.
Haze: :(
I turn off my phone and rest my head on my pillow, the burning ache in my chest spreading. I shouldn’t feel this way.
I shouldn’t care.
But I do.
T E N
Back For You
I’ve always wondered what it would be like to not have to go to school. Or work a full-time job. Or do anything that requires spending years of your life doing something repetitive for survival reasons. What would we do with our time? If there was no such thing as “money,” would we go back to desperately fighting for our food? How quickly could a well-balanced society turn into a war zone if we all truly were equals and numbers didn’t define our ability to see another day? If you could just go to the store and pick up what you wanted without paying for it, would chaos enfold our world?
My guess is yes.
Our entire lives basically consist of giving away our time so that we can have more of it. And in the end, that time we earned will also be given away in exchange for more time. It’s a never-ending cycle. Money is not the main thing a job gives you. A job gives you a tomorrow. A future. Survival.
I have no idea why I’m thinking about this right now. My packed high school cafeteria isn’t exactly my first choice for a moment when I’m questioning everything and anything. But then again, my random and philosophic thoughts might have something to do with my desperate need to not let my mind be consumed by other things.
And by other things, I mean Haze Adams.
I haven’t checked my phone since yesterday. If he doesn’t want to stop and I don’t want to stop, all that’s left to do is remove the choice from the equation.
I know if I read his messages, I’ll be tempted to answer, and I don’t trust myself not to.
Still no sign of him at school. If his three days of ghosting tell me anything, it’s that he probably won’t show today either.
Kass has been talking for an unbearably long ten minutes about how incredibly excited she is to attend Natasha’s party. Zoey nods, but I can tell that she doesn’t care. As for Morgan, to my great surprise, she’s actually invested in the conversation. Looks like the straight A student grew a sudden interest for the dark side.
