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Home has my best friend, Allie, who I bet is just dying to get me to binge-watch cheesy shows with her again.
Home has everything.
Except for one thing…
Home doesn’t have Haze Adams.
Haze
“How’s your ear?” I ask Winter when she comes back from the bathroom with her prom dress in her arms. She hangs my tux, that I’ve just swapped for a pair of sweatpants, and puts her dress away.
“It’s okay. I sterilized it. It barely hurts.” She lies on her bed. Silence streams down on us, and we welcome it. Or at least, I do. Because I know what will happen once it leaves us.
After a few seconds, she says it.
“What does this mean for us?”
My heart twists in my chest. I sit on her bed and look at the hardwood floor like I’m waiting for it to slip from under my feet. I can’t face her. I know I wouldn’t survive her teary gaze and sad smile.
“It means that I’ll be visiting you as often as possible. That we’ll spend Christmas and every holiday together. That we’ll FaceTime, text, and call every day. It means that you won’t even have time to miss me.” I gather what’s left of my courage to look into her eyes. Just as I expected, it kills me. No, it crucifies me.
It destroys me because she starts to cry.
“Don’t cry, baby, please. This isn’t
over. You hear me?” I lift her chin up. “We’re not breaking up. I’m never going to stop fighting for you. I mean it.”
She wipes a tear away.
“At prom, you said—”
“It was bullshit. All of it. I freaked out and told you a bunch of lies because I’m a fool. I’m a fucking imbecile who would do the craziest thing to keep the girl he loves by his side.”
She doesn’t reply right away, chewing on the inside of her cheek.
“Please say something,” I beg.
She takes a breath and gives me what I want.
“Something.” She does to me exactly what I once did to her, and I laugh in relief.
“I bet you were just dying to plug that one in, weren’t you?”
She chuckles, the tiniest smile warping her lips. I wrap my arms around her body, feeling this fervent need to tear the oversized hoodie she’s wearing off her. I need to feel her, even if it means that I’ll hate myself even more for letting her go tomorrow.
“You really think we can do this? The long distance?” she whispers into my neck.
“I know we can.”
I mentally smack myself for putting her through this.
Damn it, Haze. Why can’t you just tell her?
“I’ll… I’ll miss you,” she chokes out.
“Winter, please… you’re killing me right now.” I’m so busy trying to swallow the painful lump in my throat that I don’t even realize tears are welling in my eyes.
I didn’t want to admit it, but I’ve known it for a while now. The bastards are right. All of them. This girl has changed me. She’s made me vulnerable. She’s taught me to feel when I didn’t want to. When I didn’t even know that I could.
