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Has anyone ever been happy to hear their alarm in the morning? Has anyone ever said, “Yeah, time to wake up!” while jumping out of bed? Probably. But that someone has definitely never been me. Indeed, the sound of my alarm usually annoys me. It always has. But this morning is different.
The alarm doesn’t annoy me. It guts me. Its buzzing tells me that the time has come.
This is it. I’m leaving.
I peel my heavy eyes open and slam the snooze button of my alarm clock. It’s five in the morning. My flight is at eight, which means we have to be at the airport soon. Haze’s naked body is sprawled across mine, his head on my chest and his arm around me. I enjoy the warmth of his skin and trace down the curves of his stretching back muscles. How am I ever going to find the strength to get out of this bed?
We barely got any sleep last night. We spent the first half of it making love and the second… worrying that it might be the last time. The boys came home at around 2:00 a.m. I rushed downstairs, the worry that something had gone wrong eating me whole. They told us everything.
Apparently, as soon as we left, Kendrick called the cops claiming to have been driving by when he heard a gunshot. The police showed up at the scene and found nothing but an unconscious Blake on the ground. They called Kendrick to let him know about what went on later and thanked him for doing his citizen duty. It turns out that Blake wasn’t lying when he said his only means of survival was selling drugs. He had an unimaginable amount on him and in his van. They also matched his prints to a bunch of car thefts all over town.
He’s going down, even if it’s not for the right crime, and that’s all that matters.
As for Bianca, Kendrick gave her an ultimatum: go get the help she needs or face the consequences of the law. She could check herself into a mental institution for young adults, or Kendrick could tell the police and her family all about her murder attempt. She chose option number one. He’s been going to school with her ever since they were five. I think that’s why he went easy on her.
Kendrick and Will offered to drive Jackson’s car back to him last night. Will knew where he lived, so the boys left fifty bucks in his mailbox. Consider it a “Sorry we’re the reason you didn’t get laid on prom night” gift.
“Winter, are you up?” Kass asks from the hallway and knocks on my door. They all promised to get up early to say their goodbyes. Alex even spent the night for it.
“I’m almost ready,” I call and nudge Haze with my elbow.
“Five more minutes,” he groans.
“I’m going to take a shower, and you better be up when I come out.” I place a handful of kisses across his face and walk off. By the time I make myself presentable and put on an airport-appropriate outfit, Haze is sitting on the edge of my bed and playing with his fingers. He’s wearing the clothes he found at my place last night. It’s a good thing he’s so territorial and left a bunch of stuff behind the numerous times he snuck in through the window. One can’t wear a tux forever.
The impending pain in his eyes breaks me. He runs a hand through his messy hair and pats the bed. I join him. Ten minutes of making out and feeling sorry for ourselves later, we’re walking down the stairs and bickering about how heavy my suitcase is.
“How many rocks are you bringing back home?” Haze taunts, and I punch his arm.
I’m a known overpacker.
Hell, if I could, I’d bring him in my suitcase.
In the kitchen stand Will, Kendrick, Alex, and Kass. They look beyond tired, but first and foremost, they look sad, like “someone just died” sad.
“I’m going to miss you.” Kass steps forward with her arms open. She’s smothering tears. I won’t be able to keep my composure if she starts crying.
“I’ll miss you, too.” I hug her and fail to swallow the painful pit in my throat. Alex and Kendrick are next in line for the “It sucks that you’re moving to another country” hug.
“You’ll come visit every summer, right?” Kendrick whispers when we pull away.
“Every summer. I promise.” My voice uncovers a pain I didn’t expect. I never knew this would be so hard.
“Don’t get into too much trouble in penguin land, okay?”
I laugh at my overprotective cousin and think back to the way it all started. To the
day I followed him to his creepy meeting with no idea that it would mark the beginning of a crazy adventure. The events that changed everything play through my mind, and my heart cracks open. I can’t glance Haze’s way. I won’t survive it.
He’s the goodbye I can’t say.
My gaze jumps to Will, whose eyes are red.
“Will, are you… crying?”
“What? Don’t be ridiculous, Canada. There’s just something in my eye.” He rubs his eyelids.
He’s crying.
