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He glanced away from her and that was the nail that sealed it for her. They both knew without having to verbalise it that this had only been short term. Cara had pulled the blinkers over her eyes for a time but in the end it had gone exactly as she had known it would. ‘Goodbye, Aidan, and … good luck with Martin Ellery.’
He didn’t look at her, just continued to stare out the window, and as the silence grew, Cara willed him to turn around and tell her that he’d just realised that he couldn’t let her go. That life wouldn’t be the same without her. That he wanted her beyond measure.
‘Take the jet.’
And there it was. Irrefutable proof that fairytales, in fact, did not come true.
‘No, your situation is more important than mine. I’ll catch a commercial flight.’
Trying not to let him see that her world felt like it had just broken open like a fissure in an earthquake, she started moving her luggage to the door.
‘Leave those. I’ll organise it.’ He sounded frustrated and irritable but when Cara glanced up at him his face was completely devoid of emotion. It gave her the confidence that her decision was the right one because eventually she knew that being with someone who locked himself so firmly away like that would eat away at her self-esteem. ‘And, Cara, take the damned jet.’
When she was on the plane she caught sight of her reflection again and that was when she realised that she had stripped herself bare for him. She had stripped away every one of her protective layers and he still didn’t want her. She didn’t think she could cry all the way home, but apparently she could.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
THE DAMNED WOMAN hadn’t taken the jet. It still irked him that she had disobeyed him like that. When his pilot had called with the information, Aidan had tried to contact her but he didn’t have her mobile phone number.
He’d nearly laughed. He’d been intimate with her—hell, he’d told her things he’d never spoken about to another living soul—and he didn’t even have her damned phone number. It seemed somehow absurd.
And what was even more absurd was that he was in the middle of heated negotiations to save his rights to the AFL broadcast and all he could think about was Cara.
His gut tightened. He could still see the hurt expression on her face when he’d told her to take the jet. But, hell, what else was he supposed to have said? He knew she’d wanted him to go to London with her but … he couldn’t. He’d had to fight Ellery on this. Especially since the week before he’d let him win. He couldn’t do that again.
He pushed up from his chair and the conversation floating around him ceased. He looked down at twelve pairs of eyes staring back at him. ‘Keep going,’ he said, crossing to the window and staring out at the Sydney Opera House shining in the sun.
And she was dead wrong in what she had said. He wasn’t emotional over Ellery. Yes, he blamed the man for what he’d done to his parents but …
Hell.
This was emotional.
How could he deny it when his gut churned every time he thought about it? It was the same sickening feeling he’d experienced when he’d watched Cara try to hold herself together the day before.
And where was she now? Back in England? No, she wouldn’t have landed yet. Was she upset? Worried about the launch party tomorrow night?
The trouble was he’d gotten in too deep with Cara. He’d known that the minute he’d wanted to haul her into his arms to take the hurt out of her eyes. But how could he do that when making things right for her was completely wrong for him?
Relationships just weren’t his thing. After his parents’ divorce he’d vowed to never let emotion drive his decision-making. Seeing his father fall apart after he’d nearly lost everything had gutted him.
It had hardened him. And yesterday he’d realised that he had needed to cut ties with Cara or he’d be no better off than his father, a man he’d loved but who he had ultimately not respected…. Pain swelled behind his breastbone.
And why couldn’t he stop thinking about this? He was in the middle of a meeting, for God’s sake.
‘I can see why you haven’t been able to move on from this. Why you don’t want to let him win.’
Hell, yes, he wanted justice.
The hollow feeling he’d experienced at the casino table right before he’d thrown Ellery’s money back at him returned.
Because no matter what he did to Ellery it wouldn’t change the past. Nothing could do that. And Aidan realised that pursuing him with such focused determination made him no better than the man he was chasing.
Forgiveness.
The word whispered over him as if Cara was actually in the room with him.
