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With a deep sigh, I unclip the necklace and I box it back up. There is a sadness over coming me, I feel bad for locking this away and saying goodbye to this amazing gift that Seth has given me, but it’s too much. It’s a reminder of who he is now, and how far he is away from me. I can’t have him, and I have enough of that inside of my head without making it any worse for myself by having something physical as a reminder.
Seth might hate me for giving it back to him, it may seem rude, but he won’t be around for much longer, will he? Then I can suffer my own agony in peace. He can go hating me for being a rude person and I can get on with my life knowing that I have cut him out for good. It could be my closure at long last.
“Right.” I glance out of my bedroom window to look at his, just like I always used to do when I was younger. I haven’t done this for so long. His bedroom light is on, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything, because he always leaves it on. His father used to yell at him all the time about electric costing money that he doesn’t have, but it seems like Seth never learned his lesson… not that he needs to now. He probably has a staff member to do that for him. “Let’s go. He will either be in or he won’t, but I can leave the necklace there regardless.”
I don’t even bother to put on shoes, as I climb out of my window and I creep across the gardens to his. I know that I don’t need to. I also know how easy it is to hook my leg over and swing in through the c
rack that Seth always leaves there. For me… or at least it used to be. Now, I’m not so sure.
As I expected, Seth isn’t here. I’m pretty sure that he was still at the Christmas carnival when I left, which means all I need to do is leave the necklace on his bed. That leaves enough of a message, doesn’t it? Or perhaps it leaves the wrong message. The message that he can go and fuck himself. Perhaps I should leave a note with it, to let Seth know what I’m doing. It isn’t that I hate the necklace, just I can’t have it.
But of course, he doesn’t have a pen or paper anywhere. Why would he? He never did as a teenager, he never even seemed to have a pen at school, but he made it through okay. Well, from what I saw as a girl two years younger than him anyway. So, I can’t leave a note. Nor can I just leave without saying anything. I need to explain myself now because the message of just leaving the box behind, feels too strong for me.
“I can wait,” I whisper to myself as I fall back on to his bed. “The carnival will be done soon anyway.”
Yes, this is good. We can have an adult conversation about things, can’t we? We don’t need to be awkward around one another. We can just… talk things through. We don’t have to be friends with one another, do we? We don’t have to even think that things can go back to where we once were. But we can talk.
That will be the closure that I so desperately need, that is what will help me to move on. That will help me to recover from this stupid heart break that I have allowed to control me my whole adult life.
Yep, I think to myself with a smile as I settle in on the bed where I have slept many times, but not recently, this is good. This is what I need to do. Talk to Seth Bishop, have a conversation… what can go wrong?
Chapter Eleven
Seth
December 25th
“Shhh,” I tell myself as I fall in through the front door to my father’s house yet again. I don’t want to wake him up a second time around, that would be really shitty of me, but it isn’t the easiest thing in the world. Me and Benji might have gone a little over the top, I can’t seem to stop myself from having too much fun while I’m here. I just need to make it to bed without falling over and breaking anything and all will be fine.
All I need now is sleep. Lots of sleep. Then I will be okay for Christmas Day with my father.
Thankfully, by some miracle, I make it to my bedroom without making a noise, but as soon as I’m inside I’m struck with the idea that I must be in the wrong house because there is someone in my bed. And not just someone, but her. Darcy. Darcy freaking McNeill, the definite love of my life. She’s under my sheets, snoring lightly in my bed, looking like a damn angel. The most gorgeous woman on the planet.
Yep, I’m in love, I tell myself earnestly. Or as earnestly as I can manage, since a part of this still feels like a drunken construct in my brain. I love Darcy McNeill and I’m the idiot who let her go.
I press my hand to my chest and feel the pounding of my heart, each beat for her as I watch her sleep. This might not be the first time that Darcy has slept in my bed, we used to have movie nights where she would fall asleep and just stay here, our parents never worried that we were ever anything more than just friends, but this feels so much different. This is after I have given her the diamond necklace which means everything to me.
She must be here because she loves the necklace and she wants to be with me, right? Why else would she be here? I can’t immediately think of any other reason, which means I will settle on that one. I like it anyway, it’s a nice feeling to have Darcy wanting me and not looking at me like I have lost my damn mind.
The box with the necklace lies on the bed next to her. I have a feeling that it was clasped between her fingers at some point but as she’s drifted off and started to relax, her muscles let it go. Well, I don’t really want to see it in the box next to her. I want to see it wrapped around her neck, which is exactly what I’m going to do. I delicately, a least I think that I’m acting delicately, take it from her and slip it over her skin. Darcy stirs as I touch her, but she doesn’t wake up. I guess she got herself pretty drunk as well, so she’s passed out good.
I take a step back and admire my handiwork, loving how sweet she looks with the necklace on her. It suits her well. She’s amazing, she looks beautiful, and in this moment all I want to do is bring her with me to Hollywood so that I can show her off to the world. I just know that everyone else will love her as much as I do.
“You are everything,” I whisper, a heat swelling through me as I watch her. “I want you so bad, Darcy.”
I can’t resist climbing into bed with her to wrap my arms around her. I might have managed to not wake her up as I put the necklace around her, but I’m a bit heavy here and this disturbs her for a moment. Her eyes flicker open and she stares up at me with a glazed over pretty loved up expression in her eyes. She makes me melt.
“Hmm? Seth, is that you?” she purrs while turning to face me. “You are back. You came.”
Without me needing to say a damn word, she wraps her arms around me, and she pulls her lips down to mine for the kiss that I so desperately wanted at the Christmas carnival. But my God, this is so much better. This is us alone in my bed, and this feels a lot more real because it’s just for us. Fireworks erupt through me, every inch of my body screams out for her, it’s really hard to contain myself when I’m with her like this.
It’s magic, I realize as her hands grip on to my waist. It always has been magic with Darcy.
When we stop fighting our feelings for one another, amazing things can happen, and that’s precisely what’s going on here. Neither of us are thinking about tomorrow or yesterday, or even in one minutes time. We are just enjoying the right now, and right now I have the woman of my dreams in my arms.
“Are you real?” she murmurs while stroking my cheeks. “Or am I still dreaming?”
I can’t stop the bright smile from spreading across my cheeks. “You dream of me?” She doesn’t answer me with words, instead choosing to nod at me which gives me all that I need to know. “Well, I’m real.”
