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God this feels amazing, like the last six years didn’t even happen, and I am just on another normal night out with my buddies. Of course, I left here at twenty years old, so we weren’t legally allowed to go to the bars then to drink, but every so often we would just about manage to sneak in, and it was always fun. That’s why I called up River and the others the moment I stepped off the plane. I haven’t even been home yet, I still have my bags with me, because I need to blow off some steam.
These guys, this night, it’s nothing like a Hollywood party and that’s awesome. No one is interested in gossiping and spying on other people. No one is afraid to get too drunk, in case they end up making a fool of themselves and end up headlining every major media outlet. No one is focusing on trying to impress … everyone is just having a good time. I almost forgot how to do this.
This is me; I remind myself with a smile. This, right here, is exactly what I need.
It feels good to be back at my old stomping ground, to be Seth Bishop, the kid from around the corner. Not the Hollywood action actor who is supposed to be a muscle man.
“Hey, buddy,” Benji from my English class, pats me on the arm. “I have seen how many chicks you have been messing around with since you got to Hollywood and they are hot. I mean, really hot. The sort of women that we can only have posters of on our bedroom walls. You think that you can set me up?”
“Who with?” I can’t help but laugh at Benji. “And you do know that most of the stories are fake. The women they say that I have been with are people that I’ve met for like, five minutes.”
“Sure, sure.” He shoots me a wink. “It only takes a min
ute, doesn’t it? And I don’t care. Any of them. They are all so beautiful. The models, the actresses, the singers…”
I pat him on the shoulder. “Sure, Benji, I will see what I can do. I’m sure I can set you up.”
The thing I won’t bother to tell him is how those women might be nice to look at on the outside, but a lot of them are terrible inside. Demanding divas who have been led to believe that the world owes them a favor. Dating them would be like a freaking nightmare, and sleeping with them, wouldn’t be much fun either. As I have found occasionally to a fault of my own idiocy. They aren’t worth the hard work in my mind. But perhaps that’s because I am looking for something more long term, who knows? Either way, I will keep Benji out of it.
My world, Hollywood, it isn’t for the faint hearted. It’s actually a ruthless dog eat dog world where you have to have a thick skin to survive. I have that, mostly… now anyway. But Benji would hate it.
All of a sudden, just as someone hands me a drink, I find myself knocked to the side by someone trying to push passed me. A bit of the drink spills over the top of the glass, which makes me want to say something. Not to shout but just to calm the person down before anything else happens… which is how I capture a glimpse of wavy dark hair. Hair that strikes me hard and reminds me of times past, of someone who I so desperately want to see again. My breath catches in my throat because somehow, I just know that this is her. It doesn’t matter that years have gone by; my instincts know that this is her. Me and Darcy are finally in the same room again.
So, why can’t I just get her attention? What the hell is wrong with me? I’m frozen to the spot like a freak just staring at her. I really have gone back to the teenage version of me, who is too scared to say how I feel. I part my lips a couple of times, willing myself to say words, but nothing comes out.
You might not get another chance like this, I warn myself. Just get out there and say something already.
“…oi, Seth!” All of a sudden, I realize that Benji is still trying to talk to me. “Are you listening?”
“Sorry, what did you say?” I shake my head and try to return to the present moment. But that really isn’t possible when I know that she’s here, and I could reach out and touch her if I wanted to. It’s been such a long time since I have experienced the electrical thrill of holding Darcy’s hand, even in a friendly way, and I want that again. “Oh God, I’m sorry, Benji. I will be back in a moment, there is someone I need to see.”
Without giving myself another second to think about it, I race past my friend and I follow the trail where Darcy was just a moment ago, which leads me outside, just hoping and praying that I haven’t missed her. I dart my eyes right and left, begging to find her face eventually, to see one of her sweet smiles.
And there she is… oh my God, she is still so beautiful. Petite and slim, as always, with curves in all the right places. Her piercing blue eyes digging right into my soul as she stares at me in shock.
“S… Seth?” she stammers as an adorable pinkness stains her cheeks.
“Yeah.” I smile widely as I take a step closer to her to shut up the gap. “I’m back… at least for a little while.”
“I see. And er… what brings you back? … it’s been such a long time…”
“I wanted to come back for the Christmas carnival, because I have missed it.” I shrug my shoulders. “I shouldn’t have missed it for all these years, which I know now. So, I’m here to rectify that.”
I wait for her to make some smart ass comment about me being an idiot or something. Anything to put us back on the friendship track that it once was when it was easy and we knew exactly what to say to one another… but she doesn’t. I guess the last six years have created a chasm of distance between us. It isn’t like I have just gone away for a moment, and how can it be with her? Not only did we share everything with one another once upon a time, I also basically kissed her and ran away without ever getting in touch. As a friend or someone who kissed her, that was a shitty thing to do, and all because I was scared that she wouldn’t like LA.
Maybe it was me that I didn’t think she would like, because I changed in LA as well.
“So, er… you are still here, right?” I ask her awkwardly. “You like it here?”
It’s tense. I don’t think that it should be this tense. It’s weird, isn’t it? For me and Darcy to be in this place, it’s wild. For the chat to not just flow… I know that this is all my fault, but still… I’m here now and I’m trying.
“Right, everything is good.” She’s taking a step back from me. Physically and mentally. Shit, this isn’t the awesome reunion that I was planning on. I have been thinking about this for a while and it’s supposed to be nice. But then again, surprising her outside a bar might be my mistake. I should have done this better. “All good, yes.”
“That’s nice. I would love to hear about how your life is doing now?”
She doesn’t answer me, instead she cocks her head to one side curiously as if she doesn’t get me. “Well, I have to go now. I have… you know, things to do so… while it was good to see you…”
Oh my God, Darcy can’t even stand to talk to me for a few moments which sucks. She has a pained expression on her face like I am an unwelcome visitor to her home. Even though I have been a shit, I wasn’t expecting that. I thought that there might be a little bump in the road, but nothing like this. My heart sinks as I watch the stranger in front of me, the woman who I used to know, no longer knowing me. It stings like hell.
