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Veronica
A nervous shake trembles through my body as I stare up at the beautiful brown bricked building standing before me. My new home. Or at least, it will be for the next three years while I learn, grow, and hopefully become a much better-rounded person. This is what I’ve been yearning for forever, I’ve been waiting for the moment I could finally start college for the last couple of years because I’m sure it’s where I’ll finally thrive.
It’s safe to say I haven’t had the best time in high school. I didn’t hate it, I wasn’t lonely or anything, but it wasn’t the easiest time. My flame red hair made me an easy target and while I wasn’t bullied, I was definitely picked on for it. ‘Carrot top’, ‘ginger nut’, ‘strawberry… all those names I fully intend to leave behind me now. I was awkward in high school, still trying to get used to my body as it blossomed into womanhood. I didn’t know – or much like – who I was. I always held onto the belief that I wasn’t quite good enough.
Well, I’m determined not to feel that way anymore. College is the time to finally reinvent myself as the person I’m so desperate to be. I can shake off the awkwardness and unease and just be me. It’s been a long time coming.
Now, all I need to do is work up that courage to get inside and everything will be fine. Once I’m all sorted and I’ve met my roommate, then I can begin. I just need to get my legs moving which is somehow easier said than done. They’re frozen, stuck to the spot, they won’t move however desperately I need them to.
Come on, this is it, my brain screams down to my legs. Just get walking already.
Thankfully, the crowd brushed past me, kinda forcing me along with them or I would have been stuck there all day long, just waiting for my body to snap into action. I get dragged along all the way to the reception desk where there are people ready to show us to our dorm rooms. It’s exciting really. If I can just grasp hold of that thrilled sensation rather than the damn anxiety darting through me, then I’ll be just fine.
“Here you are,” the bored looking third year tells me while popping her gum loudly in my face. It’s a bit rude actually, but my throat’s too dry to even think about commenting on it. “Room Twenty-One, this is yours.”
“Th… thank you…” I stammer while grabbing my bag. “Is my roommate already in there, or am I first?”
“Dunno.” She shrugs, clearly totally unbothered by my internal dilemma. I want to ask her if she’s forgotten how nerve wracking this moment is, but I can’t because she’s already walking away from me. I’m alone with only this door in front of me. The Great Wall of China that I somehow need to climb over.
It’ll be fine, I try my hardest to convince myself. Honestly, it’s going to be okay.
I suck in a deep breath and force the door to swing open. If I stand around much longer, I risk my new roommate catching me standing here like a freak. That isn’t conducive to the brand new me, not at all!
“Oh, hey there.” I’m relieved to see a friendly looking girl sitting on one of the beds. She has shoulder length raven colored hair, black wide rimmed glasses on her eyes, and the nicest smile ever. “I’m Rachel.”
“I’m Veronica.” I extend out my hand to her which she gives a slightly puzzled look to before she shakes it. I suppose that is a bit formal really. I need to cover it up. “I’m studying English, how about you?”
“Oh, drama.” My heart pangs a little. I’m going to miss drama, I was one of the theatre kids in school. I never took on any major roles though, I was always too shy for that, but I liked doing smaller parts. However, that shyness is what led me towards the written word rather than acting. “But English sounds fun.”
I dump my bags on the empty bed and sigh at the prospect of having to unpack all my stuff. I was all excited bagging it all up, but now looking at this small room around us, it seems like too much. I might have to send some of it back. Mom will be so pleased to have packages of my stuff coming home. Honestly, I think she’s glad to see the back of me. I’ve always felt a bit like the problem child. Not that I’ve caused any issues, just because I’m the child from the first marriage, the baggage as it were. I’m sure it’ll be easier for Mom and Patrick now with just the twins and the baby around. The family that only belongs to them.
I don’t know what my plans for the future are, but I cannot go back home. Not a chance in hell.
“So, I was just talking to the third-year girl who, like, monitors our dorm, I suppose,” Rachel continues. “And she said there’s a big party tonight to celebrate us all joining the college or whatever. Should be fun, right?”
The idea of a party fills me a bit with dread, but I suppose that’s because I wasn’t ever invited to the high school events. I wasn’t close enough to the inside circle. Not even for the graduation celebration. But that’s not me anymore. Everything has changed now, I can go wherever I want, do whatever I want.
“Sure.” My face breaks out into a grin. “Sounds awesome. Let’s get unpacked and get ready for tonight.”
I’m sure it’ll be important, a chance to meet new friends, the first night of the rest of my life. Now that I at least have Rachel by my side, it shouldn’t be so daunting. It might even be amazing…
***
The music sounds so loud my ears actually hurt, there are far too many people here making the crowds too thick, and I lost Rachel about an hour ago. Not being acclimatized to parties really isn’t helping me right now. I’m too panicky and filled with sickness to really enjoy myself. I also don’t like being alone.
“Rusty!” I hear my old nickname being called out behind me, making my eyes slide closed in shock. I cannot face all of that again, aren’t we supposed to be older now? More grown up? Who would be so childish as to call me a name now that we’re in college? It actually really infuriates me. “Hey, Rusty, it’s you!”
Huh? I spin on my heels with wide, shocked eyes. I run my eyes up the body of a guy that I surprisingly do know. I mean, not well. That isn’t to say this person is my friend, but it’s someone from my old life. Half of me feels saddened to see someone from high school, I want this to be a clean break, but the other half of me is so utterly relieved to have a familiar face that I could cry. This night might not be a bust after all.
“Jordan?” I gasp out. “Jordan Miller, is that you? I didn’t know you were coming to this college.”
There’s no way I would, we didn’t exactly run in the same circles. He’s someone who’s definitely been to a lot of high school parties, but still, it’s really weird to see him here. It makes me feel all odd inside.
“Hey, Rusty, I know right! It’s crazy to see you here too.” He throws his arm over my shoulder like we’re old buddies or something. “But it’s pretty cool to see someone I know. It’s a bit weird with all these strangers.”
“Veronica,” I tell him firmly, earning myself a furrowed eyebrowed look. “My name is Veronica.”
“Oh, right of course.” He shakes his head as if this is obvious. “Veronica, right. Veronica Best, I know you.”
“But yes, it is really strange. I came here with my roommate but I lost her a while back…”
I do another quick scan of the room but it’s pointless. Rachel is in among those dancing, partying bodies somewhere. I doubt I’ll see her again until tomorrow morning now. She’s off having fun. I do like the girl a lot, from what I’ve seen so far, she seems really awesome, but she’s quite wild too. That’s really coming out.
“Yeah, I lost the guy I’m living with too and I can barely remember his name. Do you want a drink?”
“You want to hang out with me?” Even though he’s been really nice to me, it still seems odd.
“Of course, I do! We need to have each other’s backs now, don’t we? We’ll have to be friends.”
Being friends with Jordan Miller isn’t something I ever thought would happen, nor would I desire it too. I wasn’t everyone who needed to be in the popular crowd, but still, there’s an odd sense of pride now that he actually wants to spend time in my presence. I just need to remember that this is my brand-new start, and I’m becoming another person, a much more confident than who I was in school. I can’t let Jordan derail that.
“Sure, why not. Let’s go and get a drink.”
For a second, he fixes his eyes upon me and I shiver under the weight of his gaze. It’s almost like he’s really seeing me for the very first time and it feels nice. Especially because he is a good-looking guy. He’s strong, he’s got big muscles rippling all over his body that comes from being a jock. His cropped black hair is nice too, combined with his sparkling green eyes and awesome dimples, he looks very pleasing.
