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By the end of my time in this castle, there was going to be a line worn into the carpet from where I have paced the floor over and over ag
ain. I stood in the living area of our quarters, biting my nails and walking back and forth between the fireplace and the window. I knew Reg was going to put something really heavy on Milos’s shoulders, but I was more scared of what his reaction would be.
What if he lost control of his anger? What if he gave in and gave Reg whatever he wanted, even though Reg would never stop coming around? I knew Milos wanted this to go away as much as I did, but I also knew we couldn’t hide from our past forever. Eventually, somewhere down the line, someone was going to say something, and then poof, the scandal would explode all over again.
I stopped and sat down at the table, feeling dizzy from not eating. I had gotten myself so worked up over all of this, I hadn’t even touched the lunch that the service staff had brought up for me. I pulled my chair up to the table and spread some cheese on a cracker, shoving it in my mouth and staring out the window as I chewed. It was raining like crazy outside, and my thoughts went back to the island and how just a few days ago, we were carefree, making love on the sand, and dreaming of our future family.
Now, I was sitting nervously at this table, wondering what kind of future I could bring my child if my newly found royal following didn’t trust me or respect me at all. To make matters worse, when the news got out, all of my family and friends would learn the truth of what I had to do when I set out on my journey to backpack across Europe. Instead of taking in the sights, I had ended up in a dirty apartment with nine other girls, flashing my tits for a few Euros, and taking shots every night just to get through. It was hardly the kind of life that made a Queen.
I sat there nervously for nearly an hour, eating cheeses and fruits and staring out at the road beyond the castle. I would be able to see Milos driving back from there, and I wanted to be prepared and supportive when he returned. I took a swig of my water and paused as the royal town car moved over the hill and through the gates. I dusted the crumbs off my belly and had the service staff take my lunch away, making sure that they knew not to disturb us after Milos returned. My hands were ringing with anxiety as I stood waiting for him to walk through the doors and reveal what he found out at the meeting.
Slowly, the door opened, and Milos marched through it, tearing off his jacket and throwing it down on the couch. He walked over to the fireplace and leaned against the carved stone, looking down into the flames. The look on his face when he came through was more than livid, and I assumed that things did not go well at all. I gave him a minute to gather himself before I asked any questions. The last thing we needed was to start fighting amongst ourselves. When he seemed to have calmed a bit and his shoulders had relaxed, I walked over and sat down on the sofa.
“What happened?” I asked calmly.
“He wants me to sign a concession so he can build a casino,” Milos scoffed. “And if I don’t, he will reveal your past and everything that happened while you worked at the strip club.”
“I knew it would be something like that,” I said to myself before looking back at Milos. “What do you plan to do? You can’t sign a concession for that. It’s illegal.”
“I am aware,” he said sharply. I took a deep breath and let his anger roll over my shoulders. “I don’t want you to worry about it. I will take care of this problem so that it is finished and done with.”
The tone of his voice sounded almost maniacal, and I didn’t like the uneasy feeling it pushed into my stomach. What did he mean he would take care of it? The last thing he needed was to get himself into another predicament, another scandal. This one, however, would just be another mark on him, another mark on our marriage, on our child, and the future of this Kingdom.
The Parliament was happy for now, but it wouldn’t take much to push them over the edge. Milos’s life had been shrouded in enough controversy, and I did not want to continue our marriage under that same cover. I also didn’t want to raise a child, always wondering in the back of my mind if he or she would one day find out about our secret. That was it. I couldn’t let that happen. I had to make sure that Milos did this the right way.
I stood from the couch, walked back over to the window, and stared out at the rain. There had to be a better answer to this. I needed to get control of this entire thing. The last thing we needed was Milos going crazy over this without control of himself or his actions. I understood his anger, and I felt it too, but at the same time, these were the facts. I was a stripper. He had picked me up at a strip club. I did not have the regal past that everyone thought I did. No matter how angry or bitter we got, those were the facts, and they were never going to just disappear. I stopped for a moment, realizing that if I didn’t do something about this myself, it would forever haunt me. I turned toward Milos and sighed.
“I don’t care anymore,” I said loudly. “I can’t hide from this any longer.”
“What are you talking about?” Milos asked as he stepped forward cautiously.
“We cannot change the past, Milos, it is what it is. Everything I experienced, every choice I made, created the woman that is standing here in front of you today. What you may see as shameful actions are the ones that brought me to this Kingdom. I am tired, damn tired, of having to hide this.”
“What about you?” Milos asked. “What about the Kingdom? The people aren’t just going to applaud this.”
“Maybe they will accept me, and maybe they won’t. But either way, I won’t have to live the rest of my life always looking over my shoulder, always wondering if someone is going to expose me. Just wait, when the baby is born. The news will spread like wildfire. Then we have to not only worry about shielding ourselves, but our child as well. It will always lurk over my shoulder, Milos. If I can handle this on my own terms, I can be in control of how it is presented to the people.”
I put my hands down and looked down at the floor. I hated that I wasn’t the one who got to make the decision on this. It was my life, my past, and my future, but everyone was trying to protect me, like I was a porcelain doll. I understood that Milos’s guilty conscience was driving this force, but this wasn’t about him anymore. He had made his bed long ago, and we had come to a point where that was all behind us. He didn’t need to prove his love by doing something stupid and taking another hit on his reputation.
I knew that if this wasn’t handled properly and intelligently, then it could blow up worse than before. If we wanted to teach our children about honesty, integrity, and pride, then we needed to live by those standards, and not hide behind our riches and our titles. Sometimes, that may mean doing things that make us uncomfortable or even scared, but in the end, it was the right thing to do, for everyone.
I slowly walked over to Milos, who was standing there silently, watching me as I moved. I could feel our child inside of me, kicking and moving as we spoke. I know Milos couldn’t feel it, but I knew he felt the love and protection in his heart. I just needed him to see that it was about the future, not covering up the past. We were done with cover ups, and we should move forward with full transparency. The people, our family, and our child will appreciate that in the future. I grabbed Milos’s hand and set it on my belly, gazing up at him with loving eyes.
“Let me do this my way,” I said gently. “For me, for you, for our child, and for the future of this Kingdom. Let me control my past.”
Milos looked down at me and down at his hand, resting on my belly. I could see his heart breaking. He took in a deep breath and kissed me on the forehead, pulling his hand from my belly. I watched as his eyes shifted from mine and then back to the fire. He shook his head feverishly as the thought ran through his mind.
“No,” he said sternly. “I will take care of this in my way. I have put you through hell and back, ever since we met, and there is no way I am going to allow you to face the embarrassment and ridicule that could come from this. You don’t deserve any of it, and I won’t allow it to happen.”
“Milos,” I said as he turned toward the door.
“That is the end of it,” he replied sternly. “I am going to go meet with
Brat so we can plan our strategy. Please try to rest and know that this whole situation is in good hands. I love you very much, Adriana, and I promise to make all of this go away.”
I stood angrily with my arms crossed as he left the room. I walked back over to the chair and plopped down, not knowing how to feel. I wanted to be furious, to lash out, and to tell Milos “no.” But I also knew that everything he was doing was because he loved me, he loved this child, and he loved his Kingdom. Just a few months ago, he wouldn’t have given a damn about my reputation, but now, he would jump through hoops to make this right.
The problem was, he was using his guilt of the past to drive his choices in the present. He was completely ignoring the repercussions that could come from that. While his words were not meant to hurt me, there was part of me that couldn’t help but be saddened by his demeanor and wish that he could see that we were supposed to work as a team, not be split apart by all of this. When that happens, Reg is getting exactly what he wants, control over the entire situation.
