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Heather shrugged. “It’s not a big deal,” she said. “But I know you’ll get better, Beth. You’ll find someone even better than Michael eventually.”
Part of me wanted to laugh – Heather thought I was still sad because of Michael? A pang of guilt stabbed my heart as I realized that was exactly how I should be feeling. A normal fiancée would feel guilty for years, I thought. The guilt seeped through my veins like poison. A normal fiancée wouldn’t ever want to give up on the man she once loved.
“I know,” I said. And I maybe already have, I added silently.
Heather yawned. She got up and walked over to the door, leaning down and grabbing the paper. “Holy shit,” she said. “Someone sent you something.”
I laughed dryly. “And why is that so amusing?”
Heather blushed. “I didn’t mean it like that,” she said softly. “Here.”
I frowned. The envelope was made from a thick material, almost like card stock, in a beautiful eggshell color. My name was scrawled on the front in spidery black ink that almost looked archaic.
“Open it,” Heather said. “Come on, I’m curious.”
My heart sank. The guilt came rushing back tenfold. “What if it’s from Douglas,” I said with a groan. “What if he wants more stuff back?”
Heather snorted. “That’s ridiculous,” she said. “Besides, you gave him everything you had that was Michael’s.”
“Except for the presents,” I said flatly. “I even gave him back my ring!”
Heather nodded. “Well, maybe it won’t be that bad,” she said. “Anyway, if you need anything, you know I’m here.”
With trembling fingers, I slid open the envelope. A scrap of newsprint fluttered down to the floor, with a note pinned on top of it. My heart was pounding as I squatted down and picked up the piece of paper.
My jaw dropped. “Oh my god,” I muttered under my breath. “It’s Alessio. I can’t believe this!”
“Who?” Heather squinted. “Beth, what are you talking out?”
A low moan escaped my lips. The photo showed Alessio, standing in a homeless shelter and food pantry, with his arms around two homeless people. He was grinning smugly, and the caption read: “Amoruso Gives Back! Local Food Giant Visits Soup Kitchen.”
The note pinned to the scrap of newsprint read: “Beth – so you think I can’t change? Watch me. Alessio.”
There was a winky face next to his name. I groaned. My stomach twisted into knots and I sank down on the floor, clutching the piece of paper in my sweaty hand.
“Wow,” Heather said slowly. “What’s all this about? Beth, what’s going on?”
I looked up at her and bit my lip. “I slept with Alessio Amoruso,” I said softly. “He’s out of jail.”
“Obviously,” Heather said. She rolled her eyes. “But what’s really going on?” She squatted down next to me and put her hand against my forehead. “Beth, you can tell me,” she said softly. “I promise – I won’t care.”
I stared at her. “You…you don’t care that I slept with him? Heather, he’s the man responsible for killing Michael!”
Heather shrugged. “I mean, it’s weird,” she said slowly. “But whatever, Beth, I don’t judge you. You know that.”
I sighed. Having told Heather my predicament – or at least, part of it – felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Still, it felt a little odd having acknowledged the truth out loud.
“I don’t know,” I said helplessly. “He made me promise that if he proves that he can change into a good man, I won’t testify against him in court. He said that his lawyer is almost certain he’s going to be pinned for Michael’s death.”
“Wow,” Heather said softly. “That’s heavy, girl.”
“It is,” I said. “I wasn’t even thinking when I agreed – I couldn’t believe that he was serious. Heather, this is all so fucked up. I feel so guilty!” Tears came to my eyes and I wrapped my arms around my knees and hugged them to my body. “I just wish I knew what to do. Everything feels like I’m betraying Michael, and I don’t want to do that, but at the same time, it’s not like I can just turn off how I feel.”
Heather rubbed my back. “It’s okay,” she said softly. “You’re doing the best you can in the best way you know how.”
Hot tears splashed over my cheeks and I bit my lip. “I just wish I felt like that,” I said. “I wish I could stop feeling so guilty!” That’s when I started to sob in earnest.
Heather pulled me into her arms and rubbed my back. “There, there,” she said soothingly. “Everything’s going to be fine, Beth. I promise.”
