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Veronica
“Do I look okay?” I ask Rachel while I smooth down my dress. “Does this look okay over my bump?”
“It looks perfect. Honestly, you look beautiful. The girls at the dress shop did a great job.”
I stare at my reflection in the mirror, actually managing to feel a little beautiful. I’m massive now, as big as a whale, I suppose Jordan was right about how challenging this is going to be, but I still don’t mind. I still want to marry him so much that I would go through anything to become his wife. The sleek elegant dress which has been sculpted to show off my ever-growing bump is a little tighter than last time, but it still fits. It’s okay. And my hair – which has grown a lot thicker and glossier while being pregnant – has been curled to perfection. My make-up is flawless too. Thank God for Rachel, she’s made me look awesome. I don’t know where I’d be without her.
“So, are you ready to go?” she asks me, nerves tinging her voice. “Jordan is waiting for you.”
“I think so.” I suck in a couple of deep, calming breaths. “I think I am. I’m just a bit freaked out.”
She rubs my arm gently. “You don’t need to worry about it. You’re going to be fine. It’ll be awesome. And don’t forget you have the most amazing man in the world on the other end of the aisle. He loves you.”
I do think about Jordan and it makes me smile. Thank God it’s him waiting for me because anyone else wouldn’t evoke enough emotions for me to go through with this. There aren’t even many people here, we kept to our word and kept our wedding small, but still, I’m anxious. I don’t even know what I’m frightened of.
“Okay, let’s go.” I nod and let Rachel take my arm. “I’m ready to go, let’s do this already.”
“Just don’t let your water’s break as we walk down the aisle. That’s the one thing.”
“No,” I pant back. “You don’t need to worry about that. I still have a couple of weeks left. It’ll be fine.”
Rachel takes me down the stairs towards the hotel room where our wedding is waiting for me. The closer I get, the more anxious I become. I even have to use some of the breathing techniques I learned about in antenatal classes just to keep me calm. I can’t help it, this is a huge thing for me. It’s really emotional.
Just remember this might not have happened, I remind myself, just to give me something else to focus on. I could have been killed way back when. I might not be here on my wedding day with a baby in my belly.
That, just like every other time I have a negative emotion, helps me to feel better. The reminder that I could still be in that dusty, horrible cell keeps me going, even during the most challenging time. That goes even more for today. I need that reminder so I’ll appreciate every single moment of it.
“Here we are.” I can hear the music blasting from the other side of the door. “Are you ready?”
I nod and close the gap between me and the door, knowing that I’ll talk myself out of it if I don’t go now. The nerves will get the better of me and I’ll back out. My parents are in there, so are Jordan’s. Our friends too. Only the people that truly love us. It’s going to be just fine, once I get in there, I’m sure I’ll love it.
With Rachel not far behind me, I step into the room, allowing the magic of the room to fill me. It’s simplistic, we didn’t want anything complicated, but it’s lovely. White and silvery decorations cover the room, matching the color of my dress and the tie in Jordan’s suit. Simple, but sweet, just the way I want it to be.
I spot Jordan at the end of the aisle, looking like a dream. His face is one of pure bliss, so I get lost in that gorgeous expression for a while. It takes me a little while to appreciate just how much effort he’s put in too. He looks phenomenal. His hair is groomed, his face looks nice, his suit fits him so well. The sight of him sends a shiver up and down my spine, it reminds me of the very early days when I lusted after him desperately.
“Are you ready to walk?” Rachel murmurs at me, reminding me that there are lots of people here and this is our wedding day. Not just a moment for me to lust like a needy teenager over my almost husband.
Her reminder is enough to get me going. I glide down the aisle just like I practiced, hoping that my steps are in time with the music. I can hardly hear it because my heart thumps so loudly in my ears. Even my knees knock together as I go, but I keep on moving. Jordan’s smile lures me in and brings me to him. He’s looking at me like I’m stunning, I’m a goddess, like I’m everything to him. It makes me feel really special.
“Hi,” he mouths at me as I get nearer to him. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you,” I mutter. I can already feel myself getting overly emotional. Tears fill my eyes. I promised myself that I wouldn’t fall apart during the ceremony. I wanted to leave it until the end, but it’s too late. I’m already getting choked up and we haven’t even said a word yet. How am I going to get through the vows?
Once I’m near enough to him, I take Jordan’s hands in mine and a sensation of being safe washes over me. I feel secure when I’m with him, more than when I’m alone, and this marriage will carry that on forever. I see the intense emotion dancing behind his eyes and that makes me well up even more. I can’t contain it, I’m about to weep. It’s silly, it makes me chuckle awkwardly, but luckily, I don’t have much time to get stuck in that.
“We are gathered here today to witness the union of Jordan Miller and Veronica Best…”
Those words tip me over the edge, I’m a bawling mess. This is just so monumental, I’m so freaking happy. Okay, so admittedly I’m probably very hormonal and emotional too, which doesn’t help. The tears only intensify the more the ceremony goes along. By the time it comes for Jordan to speak, I’m overwhelmed.
“Veronica Best, you are my world,” he says, his voice cracking with emotion too. “You have been my world for years now, but due to the things that have happened to us, that’s even more important. I’m not going to get into it, everyone here knows what we went through, I only mention it because I want to solidify my promises to you. I want to prove to you how much I mean them.” I love his smile. His dimples claim me completely. “I promise that I will love you with all of my being, every moment of every single day. I will be loyal, trustworthy, strong… everything you deserve. I will support you through the bad times, celebrate the good, be your shoulder to cry on, and the man to lift you up when you need it. But I will do the little things for you as well. I will make you breakfast in bed whenever you want it, bring you chocolate when you’re hungry, help you when you need it.” This is the moment that a tear streams down his face as well. I can’t believe this has got to him this much. “Basically, I love you. I love you more every single day and I will continue to do so. I’m looking forward to growing old and gray with you, I cannot wait to see what each and every day brings.” He rubs his hand over my stomach, causing our baby daughter to kick out her foot to touch him, bringing her into this wonderfully magical moment too. “Starting with our very first journey. Our first baby who will be here with us in the next two weeks. She’s about to be introduced into this crazy world, our world filled with so much love. She’s lucky.” He moves his eyes back up to meet mine again. “She’s lucky to have you as a mom. Just like I am to have you as a wife.”
I rapidly try to wipe my tears away as Jordan pushes the ring down onto my finger making me officially his forever and ever… finally. All the while I’m trying to work out how I’m supposed to follow that. I had vows written, I planned them weeks ago and I’ve rehearsed them ever since. But now that I’m here and it’s time to say them, my brain is blank. I can hardly remember anything. I might have to just speak from the heart instead.
“Jordan…” My voice cracks, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to say much of anything. I hope he doesn’t mind and he knows that it’s only because I’m a mess. “Jordan, I love you. You’re my hero. You always have been but of course, like you said with things that have happened, that’s become… become more…” I stumble and stammer through the sobbing. “You’re my world and I love you so much. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you. I also wouldn’t want to… to go through all of this with someone else. Anyone else. I…”
Jordan forgoes all normal wedding behaviour and he pulls me in for a hug. I rest against his chest and I let the tears flow free. I think I’ve said enough now. I hope I have because I don’t think I can say any more. It’s too much, I’ve become well and truly overwhelmed, I can hardly breathe anymore, never mind anything else. I just about get the ring on Jordan’s finger too, claiming him as my own too. I feel a strong sense of relief as that happens. There’s nothing that can come between us now. We’re more solid than ever before.
“Okay, so I think it’s time to officially label you man and wife.” Even the priest sounds excited for us both. Everyone wants us to find happiness, after all, we’v
