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Six months later…
“Six months,” I comment idly to Veronica as we walk hand in hand down the hallway. “Six long months since we first got together. Don’t you think that’s crazy? It seems like you’ve been my girlfriend forever.”
That isn’t exactly true. Sometimes it feels that way, I’m so used to having her in my life, of being able to kiss her and hold her whenever I want that I forget there was a time that wasn’t the case. But then there are times – and I think this might be more often – where I count my blessings that I get to have her. If I hadn’t been late to the party on that night, if I hadn’t seen her with the guy there, I might never have had the courage to kiss her. It may have happened eventually, I don’t think we could’ve denied these feelings forever, but still… I’m glad we don’t have wasted time. I honestly love her more than anything in the world. I couldn’t live without her.
“I know.” Veronica turns and pushes herself up onto her tiptoes. Then she places the sweetest kiss on my lips before she turns to walk into her classroom. I love the taste of her kiss, it’s just like berries. “See ya!”
I smile to myself, loving Veronica’s blasé way of treating our anniversary as if it isn’t an important date. She knows it is and I’m sure that will come about later on. She’s playing it cool right now. There was a point, right in the beginning, when we very first got together that I didn’t think we’d make it. Not because there wasn’t anything between us or the chemistry was dying after the first time, but because everyone seemed intensely obsessed with our relationship. I feared we might end up breaking up because neither of us could handle the pressure. It was very overwhelming, especially as we were just trying to navigate this brand-new territory ourselves. It was like high school actually, with everyone else making it hard, but different because I never cared too much about any of my girlfriends in school. But Veronica is everything to me. That’s why I’m so glad we made it through. I think we’ve proven that we can make it through anything now.
Well, anything while we’re in college anyway, it’s the afterwards I’m concerned about. I know me and Veronica have enough love to last that long, even if it’s only six months in, I’m just scared that life will get in the way. Vernonia has a career planned for the future, she knows exactly what she wants to do. She’s aiming to be a journalist and with her English qualification and drive, I know she’ll do it. It’s me I’m worried about.
I don’t know what I want to do, I haven’t come up with any plan at all. I need to figure that part out. I don’t want to be the let down in this relationship, which is why secretly I’m going to a careers fair today. I haven’t told Veronica about it because every time I mention my fears she chuckles and tells me not to worry, but I can’t help it. Now that I have her, I have to think about this stuff. I need to work out how I’m really going to become a man.
I watch her walk into her classroom and take her seat, smiling to myself the entire time. She really is perfect. We’re perfect together. I honestly know this is the relationship for me. The one I need to last.
I grab my cell phone out of my pocket and fire off a text to her: ‘I love you, I forgot to say that xxx’.
I watch her take her phone out as it beeps, smile at the message, then I wait for my reply: ‘I love you too, crazy fool! Now stop watching me, I’m trying to actually do some learning here, you know xxx’
I give her a guilty wave, knowing that she’s right, and I love away from the door. I have somewhere that I need to be anyway, and this isn’t it. I’m hoping by the end of the day, I’ll be all set. At least with a plan, then when Veronica talks about how she’s going to get her foot in the door at the newspaper companies, I’ll have something to contribute too. I mean, I love football, it’s been my life forever, but I don’t think it’s a viable career for me. I want something steadier, something I’m much more likely to achieve.
“Hi, Liam,” I say regretfully as I see him waiting for me. He’s still as odd as ever, we don’t have anything to connect on, but he suggested this fair to me because he was going, and to be honest, he’s the only one I would want to know this shameful secret. I don’t much care if he judges me. “Are you ready to get going?”
He nods while darting his eyes everywhere but at me. He looks anxious, like he can’t quite meet my gaze, but I haven’t got the mental capacity to try and work out why today. My future is more important.
“Okay, great.” I force the brightest smile on my face that I can manage. “Let’s do this then.”
I walk beside Liam towards the hall where the fair is being held, wondering if I’ve made a huge mistake by agreeing to accompany him. Perhaps I should have tried to sneak in by myself. I might have to try and ditch him as soon as we get inside so I don’t feel super awkward. I really do need to focus. This is for Veronica.
To spur me on, I allow the fantasy of how I want my future with Veronica to look. It’s so simple, I don’t need anything fancy, just me and her and a nice, comfortable life to make me happy. I can achieve it, if I try.
***
I stare up in shock and awe at the man in uniform looming above me. There’s something about his charismatic personality which draws me in. I certainly feel more comfortable around him than any of the other people I’ve been subjected to today. I’ve listened to many people drone on about why their career path is the best and why they have these amazing graduate programs, but I’ve left every single one of them bored out of my skull.
Until now. Now, I feel inspired, invigorated, happy, it’s the happiest I’ve felt all day long.
“So, what would you say are the top reasons to join the army?” I ask, needing more. I don’t even think it’s confirmation I’m after, I just want to continue talking the man with the name tag ‘Brandon.’
“Well, there’s the job security,” he declares with a proud smile. “Once you get through the basic training and they work with you to get you into the right rank and role, they’re committed to you. They want to help you. Then there’s the incredible pay. I mean, wow. I don’t know about you, but for a guy like me who didn’t really have many other options, having a position where I get an annual pay raise is just something else. Not only will you be paid enough to live, but you get an awesome retirement plan as well. Basically, you’re set for life.”
“That’s amazing.” I feel like I have stars in my eyes, this life looks incredible.
“You’ll be fit and healthy too, there’s no getting away with that, and the bonds you make with the guys you work with is something else. It’s a real community, everyone is on the same team. You’re buddies for life.”
That speaks to me as well. Aside from Veronica, the bonds that I’ve made here are all surface. There isn’t any depth to them. I don’t feel like I have any friends I could go to with problems. I would love that.
“We get to travel the world, to see places that we wouldn’t normally, and we’re paid for it.”
I’m day dreaming, seeing this life unveil before me and I freaking love it. It’s amazing!
“And I don’t think I need to tell you about the pride. Wow, what you do for a living makes a real difference. How many people get to feel that important? How many of them get to say that they’ve actually made the world a better place? I can, and so can everyone I work with. We’re making the world a better place every single day.”
“Can I have the sign-up forms?” I gasp out, needing to have this life right now. Everything that Brandon has said is exactly what I want. It’s what I didn’t even know that I desired for my future. And on top of that, I will make Veronica proud of me. A man in the armed forces is exactly what she deserves, plus the life style that
comes with it. “I want to put my name down. This is one hundred percent what I want to do when I leave here.”
Brandon gives me a lopsided smile and hands me a form and a whole lot of booklets to go with it. “Well, that is wonderful to hear, I’m very happy, but you want to be certain first. You need to read through all of this…”
