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“I wasn’t kidding. I can’t stand to see a woman cry. You can call that my Achilles’ heel. I just don’t know if I can go through with it. The way that I see it is that this is best for the both of us. She won’t have anything holding her to this place. It’s time for her to stretch her wings. I’m not going to be the one to ruin her one chance at happiness. I could be selfish and tell her that I don’t want her to go, but I’m not going to do that.” I was falling for him all over again and there was really nothing that I could do about it.
I could tease him and push his buttons, but I had a feeling that losing her was going to send him into a tailspin. Eventually, maybe a couple of days or even weeks down the road, I could be that shoulder to lean on. He might see me as somebody that he could talk to and that would lead to some intimate moments. It wouldn’t necessarily be sexual, but it had that possibility of turning a late night get together into something more.
“I know from personal experience that she’s going to hate you. It’s going to be that healthy hate that is going to drive her to become the best chef that she can be. I guess it would be nice if you could end things amicably, but that's usually not how these things go. There’s no reason for you to think twice about this. If you don’t know it, I want you to know that I think that you’re doing the right thing. I wouldn’t want to be
in her shoes.” To take his mind off of the impending disaster of his love life, I turned his attention towards business matters.
“I really don’t know what I would do without you. Having you here as a sounding board has given me the courage to see what was right in front of me all along. I sometimes think that I’m blind to the suffering of others. I have the kind of money that can build an empire, but I tend to step on the little guy to do it. With you in my life, Amanda, I see things a little differently than I did before. I actually find myself thinking about other people’s feelings. I would’ve never thought twice had you not been able to resist my charms.” What he didn’t know was that I was trapped by every word that was coming out of his sweet looking lips. That I wanted nothing more than to climb into his lap and see what I couldn’t do it to make him smile.
“It wouldn’t have worked out between us anyway. If Julia is the type of woman that you are attracted to then I didn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of being with you.” I heard his voice when I was dreaming and I woke up sweaty and clinging to the sheets for dear life. I was trying to figure out if his interest in me was more than physical. Did he really want me, or was it more that he couldn’t have me?
“I’m a little bit different from other men. My tastes don’t necessarily revolve around women of a certain size. If I see something I like, I tend to jump feet first without thinking about it. With you, I saw that I wanted to find a way to seal the deal between us. You carry yourself with confidence and yet I feel sometimes that you’re struggling with your identity. It’s that vulnerability and strength combined that is hard for me to ignore.” My hands were kneading his muscles and massaging away the pain that he was going to feel from the breakup.
“I can honestly say that I didn’t know that you felt that way. If we could go back to when we first met, I might’ve been able to see through your callous ways. You must have been hiding the real August underneath the way that you chased after me.” I was giving him the idea that I was open to the possibility of something more. I wasn’t exactly coming out and saying it, but the underlying meaning was there.
“There are many paths that we take in life and sometimes we veer off to come back to that same one over again. I don’t want to give you any false promises. I’ve never been able to get you out of my head. There are times that Julia’s talking to me and the only thing that I can think about is you. I know that it’s not right and I should be with her body and soul. I know that I have to finish this with Julia, but do you think that we can talk about us after. I can come over and we can have a cup of coffee and see where things go.” My plan had worked better than I had envisioned.
“The one thing that I don’t want to be for you is that rebound girl. You need to decide if you really want this to work between us. If you can honestly say to yourself that you don’t just want to have sex with me then come over and we can build on that.” We had opened the lines of communication and it was possible that I was going to have him knocking on my door.
He turned quickly, knocking me off balance by swiveling his chair and making me fall in his lap. I squirmed for a moment, but then I settled in with my legs over the arms of the chair. I put both hands on his face, gliding my fingertips over the bristles of his stubble and loving the rough look.
“I really thought the idea of the both of us being together was a dead issue. I feel you on top of me and the heat of your body is causing me to react. You can tell that I’m happy to have you right here in this position. I would love to do more, but I don’t think that I can.” I thought for a moment that he was suffering from some sort of erectile dysfunction. “I mean… I can, but it’s not fair to Julia. I haven’t even told her that it’s time for us to see other people.” This was the kind of man that I could see myself with for more than the fleeting chance of pleasure between the sheets.
“It would be better that you go before I decide to take that decision out of your hands.” I got up reluctantly, brushing my fingertips over his lips and then standing awkwardly like I was going to fall on the cushion of my ass.
“I promise that I will be there tonight. I don’t know what time it will be, but keep a light on for me.” I was giddy with anticipation as the door closed like that one chapter of my life.
I thought that I was dreaming. The conversation seemed so surreal that it was almost like I had manifested it in my head. I looked around and I knew where I was that. I pinched myself and still I didn’t bolt straight up in bed disappointed.
I wasn’t sure how to prepare for his arrival. I didn’t know when he was going to show up, but that anticipation of what was to come was in the air. There was no denying that if he were to make a pass that I would fall into his arms and show him that I was agiler than I looked. That I could still bend myself certain ways that would make me look like a pretzel.
“I’m guessing that you want me to make myself scarce tonight. I’m glad to see that you were finally able to talk to him. I know that your intention was to manipulate him and on some level, you did, but for the most part, this decision was his own. He needed you to remind him of a few certain details that he wasn’t aware of.” Gemini was in a downward dog position on the floor. I had followed her into that same position and I think that we both surprised ourselves that we could still do this.
“I used my position in his life to find out some things that changed his perspective. I helped Julia to realize that her dream was not to be a doctor. I know that without me that they would still be together, but I doubt that they would have been very happy. Surviving the dating world is not easy for anyone. There are times that we become complacent and end up with someone that is not truly compatible with us. You and I both know that jumping back into something that is familiar is like putting on an old pair of socks.” I thought about my past and the few men that were supposed to be the one.
“Amanda, life is not worth living if you’re not doing something that you love. Julia was stuck on the notion that her family was right. She didn’t have any say in her own future. You helped her to see that she was only pleasing them and not herself. You may have played armchair therapist to the both of them, but in the long run, they will be better off for it. Trust me; I’ve been in relationships where nobody wanted to cut that cord because it was going to be too painful. It’s better to do it as soon as possible or those things that drive you crazy about that person are only going to get on your last nerve. There will be that final straw.” Gemini was wearing blue spandex pants and a sports bra that really didn’t hide what she was given an abundance of.
“I know that this is best for the both of them. It doesn’t make me feel very good about my role in it. I never thought for one moment that I would be some kind of home wrecker. If it was meant to be, I don’t think that there would be anything that I could say that would tear them apart. I let them see the writing on the wall. She’s been determined to make him wait on principle alone. I think that she kept him from going too far because she wasn’t sure that he was the right man for her.” I wanted to convince myself that what I had done was right, but that growing pang of guilt in my stomach was telling me differently.
“I told you that you were only going after him because of your need to have him when you knew that you couldn’t. I’m going to rephrase that. I think that you have always wanted him, but like Julia you were hesitant to see past his bad boy ways. We all want that bad boy, but we are foolish to think that we can really change them. Maybe in this one instance, the man that you claim to be a skirt chaser has found somebody worthy enough to drop the pretense of going after anything with two legs.” Gemini had made her point very clear. I just didn’t know that he was a good man.
“I still can’t believe that this is happening. I keep thinking that it’s an April fool’s joke, but it’s not April. It’s my dream come true. I just feel that somebody’s going to come around to bust my bubble of excitement. You know that I actually went out and bought something scandalous to blow his mind. I don’t even know that I should show you. It really does send a very descriptive message about what I want.” I held the pose, breathing through my nose and out of my mouth. I contracted my core and really felt the burn.
“You have definitely got me curious and there’s no way that I’m leaving until I see it on you. I need you to go into your bedroom and then come out and give me a preview. I want to see just how far you’re willing to go to get your man. There’s no time like the present.” I wanted her to see it and give me her opinion. It was a red and black widow outfit with the garters and bustier to match the ensemble. I even had a pair of sheer stockings that gave my legs that smooth look like he would want to climb with his fingertips up to the heaven awaiting him.
I went into my bedroom and put it on. I looked in the mirror and I really didn’t recognize the eyes looking back at me. There was that desire for August and wearing this was giving me a license to play the naughty card. If this didn’t make him willingly follow me to the bedroom, then I had no idea what would.
I opened the door and I went back into the room feeling a little exposed. I had ruffled my hair giving it that fuck me look.
“I know that it’s a bit much, but it seemed to beg me to buy it from the window. It’s not even a shop that I would frequent. I would be embarrassed if anybody saw me going in and coming back out.” She gave me an appreciative whistle and then she circled me while I stood there wondering what she was going to say.
“If I hadn’t have seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it. You look like you are ready to give this man the time of his life. Those panties do very little to hide anything. I would keep this wrapped up. Make him wait for it and then spring it on him when he least expects it. Use the ruse of going to freshen up and then come out wearing only this. Start off with something more casual like a pair of old sweats that will give him the illusion that nothing’s going to happen. See the disappointment in his eyes and then change all of that with the way that you open the door and give him a reason to crawl to you on his hands and knees.” I just thought that I would open the door when he knocked wearing this ou
tfit and let him decide what he was going to do about it.
Gemini’s suggestion was mulling around in my head and it seemed too delicious to pass up. “I like that idea and I might just steal that for my own purposes. I don’t want to keep you from anything that you need to do. What I mean by that is that I don’t think that it’s a good idea that you’re here when he stops by. I’m sure that you can find something to do or somebody to do.” She smiled at my comment and took out this little black book that had these names of former conquests with the ratings of up to four stars by each name.
“I have a couple of ideas. It’s funny, but the idea of a booty call is something that is a double standard. We can show up at any hour of the day or night and they would gladly open their arms to us. If they do the same thing, we think that they have lost their mind and slam the door in their faces. It’s only in that rare instance that we are as horny as they are when they come looking for some.” I watched as she got ready, putting on her war makeup and looking like a dish best served piping hot.
