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This was too much for one woman to handle. I had no voice and when I tried to answer Jones it was more of a squeak that I didn’t recognize. My future was behind door number one and my past was behind door number two. My head was swimming and what I thought was going to happen tonight had taken a dramatic turn.
I didn’t even realize that I wasn’t breathing. I had a decision to make and one way or the other it was going to hurt somebody. I found myself curious enough to walk almost like in a trance towards the front door. I thought about what this could do to my budding relationship with August and it became a moot point. I opened the door still wearing that outfit and not really caring what kind of impression that I was making.
I saw his face and the way that he ran his eyes up and down my body like he always did. It brought back old feelings that I thought were dead and buried. It was late, but I had a feeling that I wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight. The drama that I was trying to prevent in my life was about to happen with two men that were vying for my affection.
BOOK 2 : STEAL ME (PART 3)
Blueprints of the Past
Amanda Cochran had found the man of her dreams in August. He was what she considered a work in progress. She never did really believe that he could change his ways. Her jealousy had gotten the best of her when she found out that he was seeing another woman. They found themselves confessing their feelings for one another and was about to embark on what could possibly be the best relationship of their lives. That fairy tale was shattered by a voice from the past. She still has feelings for the one that got away. Amanda has no idea what she’s going to do. She’ll have to figure out which man is right for her before going off to China. What happens when August finds out about the man that she never was able to get over?
“I don’t know what you think you are doing here. I can’t have this conversation with you. You made your feelings abundantly clear on the last day of high school. Do you have any idea how bad I felt when you decided that I wasn’t marriage material? I didn’t fit into that image of the trophy wife that you wanted for your football career.” I couldn’t believe that he was standing there and he hadn’t changed. He still had that cocksure grin. If I didn’t know any better, I would have sworn that he had more muscles than he did back in the day.
“I know that this comes as a bit of a shock, but I never was able to get over you. I have to say that you look better than ever. There has always been something exceptional about you. You have a real quality that shines through like no other girl that I have ever been with.” He was wearing this very expensive black leather jacket. The motorcycle that he drove back when he was seducing anything with two legs was sitting out on the road.
“You can’t come here after all this time and expect me to jump at the opportunity to be with you again. You can’t be that fool of yourself that you believe that I didn’t move on. Didn’t you think that I could find somebody else after you left me to mend my broken heart? Don’t I deserve happiness after what you put me through?” I was wired tight and I knew that August wasn’t going to wait in that room forever.
I was trying to keep my voice down and still consciously aware of looking down the hallway to see if August was going to announce his presence.
“I probably shouldn’t have come over at this time of night, but I just couldn’t help myself. I’ve been involved with a woman for quite some time and I finally told her to hit the bricks. She always had her hand in my pocket. There wasn’t a day that went by that she didn’t have my credit card. I’m through living without you. I can’t think of anything else. Why is it that we are whispering? Do you have a child?” It had been years and the possibility of me having children was likely. I just didn’t find anybody that was ready to be father of the year.
“If you must know, we’re whispering because I have a man down the hall in my bedroom. I would really like for you to leave. It would be better that we discuss this in the morning when we both can be rational human beings.” He looked slightly stunned by my revelation.
“Oh, my god… I’m so sorry and I didn’t mean to ruin anything. I would like to know if it’s serious and if I even stand a chance to win you back after all this time. Tell me to leave and never return and I will do that for you. If you can do that with a straight face and mean it then you’ll never see me again.” The words were in my mouth, but when I tried to say them there was nothing there. “I’m going to take your silence as hope that I do have a chance.”
“Amanda, what is taking you so long? I want to use my teeth and tear that thing off of you. Don’t make me pull rank and use my clout as your boss to get you to follow orders.” I heard the door to the bedroom opening and I panicked.
I didn’t even think about it. I opened the closet door and pushed him inside with my finger to his lips to indicate that I wanted him to stay quiet. From the expression on his face, I doubted seriously that this was the first time that he had been caught in the act and had to make a strategic exit.
I leaned back against it, slightly out of breath and turned to see that August was looking at me.
“I know that this is a big step. If you are having second thoughts, I really need to know about them. I don’t want there to be any doubts. I have so many fantasies and you have no idea how hard it has been to be around you without making some sort of move. I think for the most part that I have respected your wishes in regards to a workplace romance. I wasn’t worthy of a woman like you, but I am now.” He was saying all the right things and my heart had filled with the kind of joy that I had never experienced before.
I had no interest in making him leave, but that was not the words that I strung together “I’m not sure about this and I need some time to think about it without you breathing down my neck. I know that’s not fair, but I can’t just jump into bed with you without knowing that your heart is in this. I was foolish to put this on and try to seduce you. You just got out of a relationship. It’s still a fresh wound and I’m taking advantage of that. I think that it would be best that you go before I do something that is not very ladylike. We have time and you know what they say about abstinence making the heart grow fonder.” I didn’t believe a single word of what I said. It sounded like excuses, but I was grateful that he didn’t take it that way.
“I would never want to do anything to make you feel like I’m pressuring you into anything. It was never my intention and I apologize if this is a little bit too quick. You might be right. I haven’t fully grieved for the relationship that I just ended. At least one of us is thinking straight. I’ll go, but I’m not through discussing this.” He gave me a kiss with his hand on the small of my back lingering on that spot that was extra sensitive and the perfect way to make me melt.
“I hope that you don’t hate me.” I was worried that this was going to mess things up. I was going to give Jones a piece of my mind and his walking papers in that order.
“The one thing that I can never do is stay mad at you. I’m a little disappointed. I’m going to have to go up the mango tree with my five little friends tonight.” He indicated his five fingers and the need to take matters into his own hands. It was kind of a waste and I could’ve thought of a lot better things to do with what he had in his possession.
“I’m glad to hear you say that. I’m just confused and I need time to sort things out in my own head. I do care for you deeply and probably more than you know. I just need to be sure that this is forever and not some fling. We owe it to ourselves to make sure that we are that soul mate that we have been searching for. I know that I probably sound like some hallmark card, but I can’t help to want that happily ever after.” I helped him on with his jacket and opened the door. I breathed a sigh of relief to see that the motorcycle that Jones had arrived on was out of sight. It was on the road, but it was underneath the shadow of a tree masking its existence.
“I know that I have no right to ask this. Is there something that you need to tell me? You obviously have doubts, but I sense that there’s something more going on here than meets the eye. I’m not going to push, but my door is always open. Tomorrow is a big day and we meet with Lionel in the morning to go over any changes that he might want to make with the designs that we made for his other three buildings. I really do want you to go with me to China. That is something that you’re going to have to decide for yourself. It could be the beginning of something.” He touched my cheek and I almost grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hallway to the bedroom.
“We have a few days before we leave the city. I still plan on going with you. You need to find some perspective and to really feel the loss of Julia. I know that you said that you ended things amicably, but there has to be a piece of you that is only going to be meant for her.” I closed the door, peeking through the curtains until he was driving away and then I felt a pair of hands on my hips from behind.
“I kinda find it naughty that you are playing the field. It makes me that much more anxious to win you over. Damn, I forgot about these curves and the way that your body screams for the satisfaction that it deserves. You know that we have been intimate. I do have a road map of your body in my mind that I play over and over again. I will never forget the day that we consummated our relationship on the football field. The next day when I took to the field, I couldn’t stop smiling or bringing to life the moment that you cried out in orgasmic joy. I wasn’t exactly pure as the driven snow, but I knew that you were. You took a chance on a man that really didn’t give you any reason to think that I was a one-woman kind of guy. For the rest of that year, we were inseparable and I don’t mean to brag, but I think that I gave you some of the best orgasms of your life.” I wanted to refute his claim, but there was no way that I could without lying through my teeth.
“I can’t do this right now. I need you to leave and to give me space. I will leave you with one thought. You made me feel like I wasn’t worth it to stand beside you in your career. I don’t know how I’m supposed to ever get over something like that. I’ve always struggled with my weight and you didn’t make it any easier by making me think that you were embarrassed to have me in your life.” I’d wanted to say this to him the last day of high school, but I was too naïve and hurt by his betrayal to do much of anything. I could only stare at him as he walked out of my life.
“I apologize for making you feel that way. It wasn’t right and I was stupid to think that I could do better.” I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. I closed the door with my heart beating and my palms sweating. I had this need to jump either guy and have my way with them. I was actually thinking that maybe I could have my cake and eat it too, but that would’ve been asking for way too much.
“I’ve never known you to play two guys against each other. I told you that Jones was going to realize the mistake that he made. I’ve heard all about him and that twinkle in your eye is hard to ignore.” It was 5:00 AM in the morning and I had barged in on Gemini sleeping to get her two cents worth.
“I just don’t know what to do. I thought that I had Jones out of my system, but all those feelings resurfaced when I saw him standing at my door. His voice was like a whisper in the wind. I’m powerless when I’m around him. I thought that I was never going to see him again. August is my future and Jones is my past.” I wanted to believe that, but those memories never did fade over time. Jones had always been the measuring stick that I used when I found myself even remotely in a relationship.
“You say that, but I’m not sure that you really believe that. You have every right to the way that you feel. There was no closure to end your relationship with Jones. This might be your one opportunity to finally tell him that it’s over. I’m a little concerned that you weren’t able to do that last night. It made him believe that you’re not over him. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can give you some of my sage advice. You can’t have both of them no matter what fantasy might manifest in that naughty little mind of yours. It would never work which means that you’re going to have to decide on one or the other. They both have that same attitude toward women. They both think that they are god’s gift. It appears that you have a type. Do you think that the reason why you have been keeping August from getting close is because he reminded you too much of Jones?” I hadn’t thought of that, but now that she had broached the topic it did ring with a bit of truth.
