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I turned away from him pretending that I was disgusted by his behavior and secretly wanting that kiss to last longer than it did. “I don’t know what you are doing, but that was uncalled for. You know that I have feelings for another man. Just because I don’t have a ring on my finger doesn’t mean that you can manhandle me like some sort of brute.” My voice was a little raised and I was hoping that Gemini was going to interject her thoughts. Unfortunately, I got the impression that she wanted me to handle this on my own. I had to do that or I wouldn’t be able to look at myself in the mirror the same way again.
“You can’t tell me that you didn’t feel anything. That is not the kind of passion that you can fake. I know that you have another man that you are interested in, but I don’t care. Like you’ve already said, you don’t have a ring on your finger and even if you did, I doubt that would even stop me. I know what I want. You showed last night that you were ready for more. Again, you can’t fake the eagerness in your eyes when you had me in your hand.” He was throwing that back in my face and I didn’t think that was fair. It was appropriate considering that I was the one that was doing all of that under my own free will.
“You have always been a good kisser and there has never been any reason to deny that. It doesn’t mean that I’m ready to go backward. Being with you is a mistake. I should’ve seen it a long time ago, but you really did throw me for a loop by coming back into my life.” I looked at my watch and I knew that I was going to be late to the airport.
“I wasn’t the only one kissing. That wasn’t one-sided even though you profess differently.
You fought me, but then you sank into it and enjoyed every moment. Even your neighbors saw that you were into it.” He was beating a dead horse. If I didn’t do something radical and extreme, then he was just going to think that this kind of behavior was going to be tolerated.
“It gives you no right to touch me like that without my permission. You need to grow up and stop acting like the same teenage heartthrob that you were in high school. Those days are over and you can’t go back no matter how much you want to. I understand that your father dying made you willing to commit. It’s just not going to be with me.” I could still see him naked and it did very little for the temperature in the room.
“My father was one small part of the reason why I came to see you. His words echoed in my ears. I know that I have been wasting my life on those girls that are only with me for my money. I never felt like I was shortchanged when I was with you. There was something real about what we had. I’m not sure that I will ever find that again.” He was afraid of being alone. It made me feel for him.
I took him by his two hands and made him sit down with me sitting on my knees. “I think that it’s a good thing that you know that you can’t stay the same. You need to find somebody that is going to be more than eye candy. I wish that I could be that for you. I’m sure that if things were reversed that you would be telling me the same thing. There’s no point in grasping onto a piece of the past. I’m lucky that I found a man that was accepting of my flaws and vice versa.” His last-ditch effort to win me back had failed.
“I really do feel stupid for coming here. This was supposed to be a gesture. A reminder of what we had and could have again. I see now that it’s not what you want. It can’t be what I want no matter how much I want to cling to the old times. I want a family and I swear that I’m not going to rest until I find the woman that is going to make me feel the same way that I feel about you.” He stood up, gave me a hug that was more friendly than the kind of embrace that I would have expected from him.
“I want you to be happy. Another time and place, we might’ve been able to make it work, but that’s not going to happen. I found one that I want to pursue. You and that damn motorcycle will always hold a special spot in my heart. It’s a relic of a time long ago and maybe it’s time that you finally put her to rest. It’s time for you to get that clean slate.” I was only telling him what I felt. It was going to be up to him to make that commitment to clean up his act.
“If it’s all the same to you, I’m going to keep black beauty, but maybe it is time to put her away in storage. Family has always meant a lot to me. I never knew how much until my father died. I have to find a way to carry on the family name.” That was the closure that the both of us needed. It didn’t have to come from us twisting in the sheets together. It would’ve been satisfying and a memory that I would have loved to repeat, but that would have been only asking for more trouble than it was worth.
The door closed and I had my hand on top of it with a silent goodbye in my heart. It was fitting to see him drive off into the sunset alone. I had no doubt that he would find somebody to fill that void that his father left behind.
“That was very touching, but I think that you have forgotten one thing.” I turned to look at Gemini and she was tapping her wrist and making me look with my eyes wide open at the clock and the seconds ticking by. “You’re never going to make it. It’s too bad that you sent him away. You might have had a chance with that motorcycle.” I slapped my forehead, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me.
I tried to send a text message, but the service was down for maintenance. I was cursing myself. We had left things in good terms and Jones would’ve been able to get me to the Airport. I heard the motorcycle and it wasn’t like it was in the distance.
I sprang into action, throwing the one bag that consisted of all of my worldly belongings over my shoulder. It was a green army bag that had been passed down from my grandfather. It had a sentimental connection that made me look like a hobo ready to ride the rails. I didn’t care.
I opened the door. He reached out and I thought that he was going to kiss me again, but this time he grabbed his gloves that he had left behind.
“I wonder if I could ask you for a favor. It’s a bit of an imposition, but I think that we can remain friends.” I told him that I needed a ride to the airport and he was happy to help.
He handed me the helmet and I managed to keep the green army bag in front of me. I told Gemini that she could stay for as long as it took for them to sell the property. She most likely was going to take me up on my offer and disappear once more when the sale was completed.
The vibration between my legs was the painful reminder that having my arms wrapped around his waist was like that same blast from the past.
“I hate to admit this, but I think that I’m going to have to invest in buying one of these. I don’t think that I have to tell you the reason why. You already know better than others what riding on one of these things does to me.” I was rubbing incessantly and it was a good thing that I was wearing jeans and not a skirt. I probably would have collapsed altogether and become a roadside hazard.
“I know and that’s the reason why I came to see you on it. I’m glad that it still has that effect on you. It’s nice that I can put that smile on your face. Unfortunately, I’m going to send you hot and bothered into another man’s arms. I do have one regret that we didn’t find a way to get that closure by the cries of ecstasy that I could have made you scream in the dark of the night.” I was such a dirty girl for thinking the same thing.
“It seems kind of fitting that you would be the one to come to my rescue. I know that this is not how you wanted to end our story, but our flame could only burn for so long. I think you know that deep down. We’re not right for one another. What we had was not healthy. We both have very strong opinions.” Any more of this and I was going to slide from first base all the way to home.
“There is one girl that I have been reluctant to speak about. I wanted more, but I got caught up in the old habit of sneaking out after the deed was done. I think that I might look her up and see if I can’t convince her to give me a second chance. She’s the only one excluding you that I ever thought that I could have more than a physical relationship with.” This was my time to give him some advice that would hopefully help him in his love life.
The wind was blowing through the hair that was sticking out from underneath the helmet. The vibration was keeping me occupied and making me wonder about how I was going to be able to stand steady when I finally arrived at my final destination.
“You need to learn to be yourself and not what you think that you need to be. Women like a man that is honest and will show some vulnerability. Don’t be so quick to think that you are right all the time. A girl wants to feel protected, but they also need to know that you are willing to listen to reason. That romance that you have fought against is something that you should really think about. Gestures like flowers and candy might seem juvenile, but there are those little things that count the most. Drying a dish or putting away the laundry will leave her wondering what she ever did without you.” He was breezing through traffic and I thought for sure by the way that we were leaning that we were going to come to a fiery end.
We came to the Airport and I was 15 minutes late to the party. I got off, but I had to hold myself against the bike to stop my legs from shaking. One more minute on that thing and I would’ve been done for. I was already breathing heavy and I closed my eyes to try to get back whatever dignity I had left.
“I want you to take a few deep breaths. I do find it funny that you still get that extra jolt every time that you get on black beauty. Both of us have missed you, but I think that I’m going to take your advice to heart and see what I can’t do about finding my own happiness.” My knees were knocking and I did breathe deeply until I finally was able to stand shakily on my own.
“I would really like to find out how things work out for you, Jones. You have my contact informa
tion. Let’s keep in touch and be the friends that we should be. Don’t be a stranger. At least now, I can say that I don’t feel terrified of you coming around anymore. Don’t worry, I’m still attracted to you and that’s never going to change. It’s just not enough anymore.” I was wasting time and I watched him wave to me. I ran with moments of having to stop and hold myself up against anything that I could find.
I got to the gate with my lungs burning, but it was too late. “I’m sorry, but the plane has already taken off. I can put you on the next available one. It’s not until tomorrow morning at 5:00 AM. I have two available seats, but I’m afraid that they are in first class.” I didn’t have the kind of money to fork out for that kind of extravagance.
