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“Is that what you want? For someone else to have me?
Because I’m not entirely convinced that it is… I can see it in your eyes. I think that just maybe you want me all for yourself, because you’re so greedy.”
“Will you just… just…” She rasps and gasps. “Stop it already? This isn’t fair.”
“No, what isn’t fair is the dress you’re wearing. All tight and black, clinging to your curves, giving you a kick ass cleavage. How the hell am I supposed to control myself around you?”
Katherine tilts her head to look at me and I can see the desperate neediness in her eyes. I’ve had that gaze upon me one too many times and I know exactly where it leads. But if we’re putting this behind us now then so be it.
“You… but I thought you wanted to hook up with someone else tonight?”
I cringe internally at her words, I don’t like the way this makes me feel but I have to keep my hard outer shell. I can’t let her know what’s really going on or it’ll change the dynamic of everything.
“Not even one more time, that’s what you said. Never again. It’s a shame, but what can we do…”
“You know why,” she hisses back. “If we carry on, we’ll have to tell our friends and that just…”
“Puts too much pressure on us, I know. I don’t want pressure either. It’s just a shame, that’s all.”
“A shame… yes, I agree, but it’s what we decided and we can’t go back on that now…”
“Oh no, we wouldn’t want to go back on our word. That would just be dreadful.” I wait for her to answer, but I get nothing, she remains in a thick silence. “Right, that’s perfectly clear then.”
With that, I push my back off the bar and I waltz over to the first woman who’s giving me eye contact. Some brunette whose face might as well be a blank canvas for all I can see. This isn’t about her, I sure as hell won’t be taking her home, I just want to wind Katherine up, to make her jealous. The angrier she is, the more I rile her up, the more likely she is to fuck me again. I want her to fuck me again. I want to bury myself inside of her, to feel that deep connection I can only get with her. She brings me back to life, as if I’ve been dead.
“Oh, hey there.” The Brunette’s night has been transformed. “I have heard all about you. You’re Logan’s best friend, right?” I nod, while darting my eyes over to Katherine. She’s pointedly looking away already. “I’ve heard some really good things about you. Mostly from Sandi who works at Tamara’s charity…”
Urgh, Sandi… that’s someone I’d much rather forget. She came along on a night where Katherine had just rejected me and I needed to hate fuck someone else. Sandi was the unfortunate, if not incredibly willing, person who was just there. She was actually the person who made me realize that I don’t want to be this person anymore. I don’t want to be the guy who endlessly sleeps around. I want more. I want to be better.
Not that I’ll ever tell anyone that.
I can feel Katherine’s eyes boring angrily into me now, she can’t keep away for too long, so I shoot her one last withering look before I turn back to the brunette. It’s time to be on top form.
“Well, that’s wonderful to hear,” I purr. “What has Sandi been telling you?”
“Only that you have to most amazing…” She trails her finger down my chest, slowly moving it towards my cock. “Well, you know.” She giggles, seemingly not noticing that I don’t feel anything from her. “Yeah.”
“Hmm, I see, and you want a little piece of that yourself, do you?” I wiggle my eyebrows. “I like a strong, confident woman. That’s what really gets me going…”
No, that’s not true. What I like is a crazy, stubborn uptight bitch who will argue to the death with me even when she’s wrong, but who will then loosen up in the bedroom and show a side of herself that’s so vulnerable and free, so unsure yet confident all at once. I want a woman who only I really know, someone who will give herself over to me completely… only unfortunately, I can’t have that person because we’re both too busy wanting to keep us a secret.
It really is such a shame.
2
Katherine
Urgh, he fucking infuriates me! He drives me insane. I can’t be around him without balling my hands up into fists and pumping them angrily. No one ever makes me feel as untamed and animalistic as him. I’ve always been a little bit of a control freak, someone who plans out her life and sticks to that plan. I went to college after high school, I got my business degree, then I got a job at Becks and Norris, just like I always planned I would.
I like a plan, a schedule suits me, it helps me to keep my power. It means I can’t exactly understand how people like my best friend, Tamara, can be so flighty and unprepared, but I try my hardest.
The only part of my life that hasn’t yet gone to plan is the love life part of it. I was supposed to meet the man of my dreams at twenty three years old, get married at twenty five, then have my first child before I hit twenty seven years old. It was all so perfect and would give me the time to have more kids if needs be… yet I’ve spent the last year or so - actually, more than a year, not that I’m counting - fucking the bad boy who is never going to give me the happy ever after that I want. The more time I spend with him, the more off track I get. Alistair isn’t exactly the sort of man who leaves room for anything else in my life. He’s utterly all consuming.
In my defense, I keep trying to pull away, I keep attempting to put an end to this but he lures me back in. He’s a drug and I’m an addict. I can’t seem to say no however much I want to. Like, right now, this is all just a game. He’s flirting with someone else in front of me because I’ve basically rejected him just to wind me up. He’s done it before, we’ve been in this place at another time, only this time I won’t get sucked in. I refuse.
“Urgh, idiot.” I roll my eyes and turn around to the bar man. “Can I have another drink, please?”
“You look like you’re having a rough night.” He hands me another glass of champagne. “Do you not like weddings very much? I have to admit, I’m not much of a fan myself…”
