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I loved him for it, even though standing in the empty living room, surrounded by boxes of our stuff, I was beginning to feel that maybe we were in over our head.
You’ve gotten this far. No reason to freak out.
I wasn’t freaking out. Not really. I just felt like so much was happening so fast, I was worried I might miss out on simply enjoying the wins. Ever since Dennis’s arrest, and the swift and almost effortless divorce, my life had taken a turn to the better. The only problem was, after years of living through hell, I felt like I was in the middle of a fantastic dream I would wake up from at any second. That scared me, more than anything, and the better my life got, the more worried I became.
It was almost as if I were being shown what could be, just to have it taken away from me. Like the dream would end abruptly, and I’d find myself waking up in my bed in Manchester, with my abusive husband snoring next to me.
If that happens, I’ll slit my wrists.
I sighed, ran a hand through my hair, and tried to decide which box to start emptying first. The move had been a disaster, the sheer volume of things we had surprising us both. It was funny how much could go into a small apartment like the one we had been living in for the past three years. Looking at the boxes now, I couldn’t even fathom where all this stuff had been.
I turned the first box to my right around and clicked my tongue when I read the word ‘Junk’ written in my cursive handwriting on the side. Most of this is probably junk, I thought to myself. Andy, though, had been determined to get out of the apartment so quick, he didn’t want to sift through anything. Just pack it all up and we’ll organize later, he had said. I made a mental note to give him hell about that when he got home.
I pushed the box to a side and opened the next one, sighing when I saw the neatly packed memorabilia wrapped in bubble wrap. I’d have to arrange the living room properly before emptying this, so I pushed that box aside as well and went for the third. After four more boxes were set next to their siblings, I realized that I could do this all day and not empty a single thing.
“Now or never, Andrea,” I said to the empty house. Bracing myself, I grabbed the scissors off the mantelpiece and marched towards the bubble wrapped couches. I had to start somewhere.
***
Andy proposed after a year of us living together.
He took me to Eagleville Manor, making sure Jack was not around to spoil the surprise, and we spent the afternoon there, picnicking on the terrace and watching the sunset turn the world into a tapestry of purple and orange hues. It was beautiful, enchanting even, and when he got down on one knee, looking as cliché as ever, I cried like a baby.
There was no doubt that I’d say yes. He had turned my life around, gave it new meaning, made me feel like I was a real person and not just some drunkard’s punching bag. He gave me the confidence I needed to get past my issues, was patient while I struggled with memories and triggers that had me sitting in a corner, shaking like a leaf. He held me through bouts of depression, listened to me when I voiced my fears about our future, and walked me through every step of recovery I needed.
Bobby constantly teased me about it, calling me the woman who tamed the dragon. I knew about Andy’s past, about his sexual adventures, the number of women enough that I’d need a filing system just to keep track of them. And I didn’t care. I knew a cheat, had married and lived with one for years, and Andy wasn’t that. He was as devoted as they came.
So, of course I said yes. Over and over again until he got up and hugged me so hard, I could have crawled inside him if I had wanted to.
It was a small wedding, just friends and family, and since both of us had very little to no family left, small wedding really did mean small. Bobby gave me away, despite Andy arguing that he needed him to be his best man, and the hug my brother gave me before we left for our honeymoon said so much more than words ever could. It was as if he were welcoming me back home all over again, and it felt good. After years estranged from Mansfield and my family, I was finally where I belonged.
I got a job at Mansfield Middle School after finishing a teaching diploma, and the job kept me busy, and happy. I had found my calling, sort of speaking, and I loved the kids. Besides, it was always a plus being married to a fire fighter. The kids kind of looked at you differently, like you were married to the most important person in the world. And to me, Andy really was.
Yet through it all, there was always that ominous feeling like it would all come to a crashing end, like the universe would suddenly realize that it had made a mistake and would rain wrath upon me for taking advantage of the mishap. A part of me half expected the telephone to ring, and when I’d pick up, Dennis would be on the other line, telling me he was out and that he was coming for me. That this time, he would finish the job.
No kidnapping this time, baby. Round two, and we’re going to really boogey!
A call did come, eventually, and when the phone rang, my heart had skipped a beat. Andy had answered it, the look on his face scaring me more than what he would eventually have to tell me. It had been the lawyer, letting us know that Dennis had hung himself in his cell.
I cried for hours. Not out of grief, but a beautiful sense of relief.
But that feeling never really went away. I worried that one day I’d look over my shoulder and find Dennis standing behind me, not dead at all, and ready to rock and roll.
Andy was patient through it all. It was one of the reasons why he had pushed for us to buy the house. The apartment was a reminder of the past, and we needed to move on. The house would be a new beginning for the both of us, a future we would build together.
***
“I’m home!”
“I’m in the kitchen!” I called out, adjusting the plate cabinet to make room for the rest of our dishes. Andy walked in behind me, wrapped his arms around my wais
t and kissed the crook of my neck. “Oh no, mister, you’re not getting off the hook that easy.”
“What?” Andy chuckled.
“I’ve been unpacking all day,” I said, turning around and giving him a quick peck on the cheek before reaching for the next box. “I’m dusty, sweaty and exhausted. I’m not doing anything else without you.”
“And here I thought you didn’t need me for the heavy lifting,” Andy said.
