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She shakes her head, “I can’t accept that.”
I sigh, “You have no choice. I’m not taking no for an answer. Besides I can’t take you home.”
“Oh, is your car in the workshop?”
I’m thinking of a story to tell her, anything to save face when she points, “I think that the eggs are burning. “
I take the pan off the stove and then put on the extractor. Something that I should have done before I started cooking. The breakfast that seemed so simple ends up in the trash as Valentina smiles and says, “Maybe it’s better if I just go.”
“Can you cook?”
She nods, “A lot better than you can.”
Well, that’s not fucking hard. I move out of the way after putting the burned bacon in the trash and command, “You cook, and I’ll lay the table.”
“I think that’s the best thing to do.”
God, what is it about her that makes me want her to stay. She has to go to work, and I need to get a drink, later on, I’m hoping that Florence is going to call. But it’s a Saturday, the likelihood of that happening is next to none. No, I need to face the fact that this is it. I’m not getting that role. It doesn’t matter if it’s happening, I just know that it’s not happening for me.
***
“Fuck that tasted so good!”
Valentina laughs, “It’s just eggs, breakfast and a bit of bacon.”
I nod, “But compared to what I was making earlier it’s fucking perfect.”
She shrugs, “It wasn’t hard to do. Anyway, I need to get going my room mate’s waiting for me.”
“I thought that you said that you lived alone?”
She points a finger at me as if surprised that I was paying attention to her talking in between eating. I was hungry and just thought that she loved to talk. She was drinking like a fish, and I knew that was due to all the screaming she was doing all over the house.
Last night there were no boundaries, we were lovers, friends and everything mixed up together. Now we're sitting down at the table and having a conversation. It should feel natural, and I wonder if I’m getting old because I don’t want her to go. It seems nuts thinking about her that way, but I want to ask her to spend the weekend. I have that nagging feeling inside my head telling me that I can’t cross that boundary. Not now. I need cash, and I need to focus on getting a job. Valentina’s a distraction that I can’t afford to have in my life right now.
“Yes, she’s not exactly my roommate. It’s a big house, and it’s all divided into rooms. Rental prices are getting expensive, and so this was my best option. It means that I get to paid cheap rent, not that there's such a thing in LA. Anyway, not compared to the small town that I lived in. I could rent a house like this back there for the amount I’m paying for my room. Well, not quite. Anyway, I’ve only been here..”
“A year. I know you said and I heard you when you said it.”
She turns around and avoids eye contact with me. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything to her, but she’s said it so many times I wonder if there’s a reason behind it. I thought that it was to see if I was listening, but now I think that she did it for another reason.
“Why do you keep saying that?”
She shakes her head, and I think what the fuck? I’m not supposed to be feeding and entertaining her. I must be getting old or desperate for company? Either way, she’s got to go now. I pick out my phone and start logging on to the app, the one I use once in a while when I want a taxi, and I book her one immediately. I would use my card to pay for it, but then they took my card. Fuck they could have frozen my accounts too. I feel as if everything’s coming to a dramatic end and I’m entertaining as if there’s no tomorrow.
“It’s just that I had my first audition yesterday and I know that to someone like you, it sounds silly. You’ve been for millions.”
She takes a deep breath as she plays with her plate. Anything to distract herself from my stare. She stands up and says, “Anyway, it was a big deal to me, and I need you to know that you made it special.”
I’m about to say something, but then I keep my mouth shut because I have a feeling that she hasn’t finished saying what’s on her mind.
“You brought me here.”
Fucked you like crazy.
“Made me feel special like I was part of this world.”
She takes both our plates and then heads to the kitchen. It’s as if she’s lived here and then she pauses as she puts them in the dishwasher.
