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“Baby,” I reached across the table and took one of her little hands in my own. “I’m not sure it really works that way. In my experience, and I’m sure your Aunt Sophie’s as well, that’s not the way it goes.”
“Sure, it is,” Emma said. “That’s what it always looks like.”
“Looks like to who?” I asked. “Where?”
“In the movies and stuff. And with my friends.”
“You have friends who already have boyfriends?” Sophie asked, glancing over at me.
"Yup,” Emma said. “They don't like, do anything. Just maybe hold hands and stuff, and a whole lot of texts."
“That stuff can all be really great, but try to enjoy your life how it is now, too,” I said. “Sometimes, having a boyfriend can be really hard. It’s fun, but it can be hard also. There’s nothing wrong with being happy with how things are right now.”
“Is that why you don’t have a boyfriend, Mama? You think it’ll be too much work?”
Crap. Crap. I don't know why I hadn't seen the conversation going in this direction. Emma's question totally threw me off. To make matters worse, I could see that Sophie could tell that something was up with me. She didn't say anything, not yet, but that didn't mean much of anything.
Sophie was the most headstrong person I had ever known, and if there was something she wanted to know, she was going to know it. As I saw it, I now had two different options. I could keep quiet and wait for Sophie to pounce, grilling me into submission so that I spilled my guts everywhere. As options went, this didn't seem like a great one.
The second choice was that I just go ahead and tell Emma and Sophie about Drew. It was something I should have already done, seeing as the Fourth of July picnic was now only three days away. The longer I tried to put it off, the worse it was going to get, and I knew it. I took a deep breath, shut my eyes briefly, and then looked at Emma with what I hoped passed as a reasonable level of confidence.
“Actually, Emma, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.”
“Have you now?” Sophie asked with shock so fake it was sickening, “What a complete and utter surprise!”
“Yes, actually, I have. I’ve been meaning to talk to both of you.”
“About what, Mama? You’re acting funny. And your face is all red.”
"It's about the picnic. I want to bring somebody with me. I really hope that's okay with both of you, because I've actually already invited him. His name is Drew, and he's a pilot. We've flown together, which is how we met, but only once. Only once we've flown together, I mean. We've met more than once. Obviously, or else I wouldn't be inviting him, right? Anyway. I invited him. I hope you guys are cool with it, because I would rather not rescind the invitation."
Silence. Total and complete silence. Somewhere during the course of my speech, I had dropped my eyes down to my hands. Now that I was done talking, the idea of looking up at either one of them was borderline terrifying. I was so afraid that one or both of them would tell me they weren't okay with it at all. As much as I liked Drew, all it would take was one of these two telling me they didn't want him there, and I would call the whole thing off. I would have given him up completely, if that was what they had wanted.
“Oh my God!” Emma said. “Are you kidding? No way! No freaking way!”
Emma broke the silence by jumping up from her chair and dancing around like a maniac. Her words gave way to excited little hollers, and after a second, Sophie got up and joined her. The two of them gripped hands and turned in joyful little circles, before collapsing back into their chairs, panting.
“Do you know what this means, big sister?” Sophie asked.
“No,” I answered cautiously, not liking the mischievous gleam in Sophie’s eyes. “I don’t think I do.”
"It means that now, I'll finally get some payback for all the times you grilled and embarrassed me in front of my dates! I never got to do that to you, but I totally will now. Oh man, Emma and I are going to have so much fun, thinking up all of the embarrassing things we're going to tell this dude. Forget a picnic for the Fourth. It's going to be like you're attending your own roast."
I sat silently, listening to Emma and Sophie exchange ideas for how they could best humiliate me in front of Drew. I did my best to stay calm, or at least to be something that resembled calm, but inside, I felt very close to outright panic. Ever since inviting Drew, I had been worrying about whether or not Emma and Sophie would even allow me to bring him. Now, there was a whole other set of possibilities I hadn’t even thought to worry about.
“Guys, come on,” I said. “Please stop it, okay? Please. I think I’m going to have a heart attack.”
“Aw, what’s the matter, big sis? Think we’re going to embarrass you?”
I frowned. “I don’t know, maybe. Sort of sounds like it.”
“Look, Jess, all joking aside, you can’t think like that. If you really like this guy and you think you can see it going somewhere, he’s going to have to get to know your family. He’s going to have to get to know us for who we really, truly are. What’s his name?”
“Drew. His name is Drew Larson.”
“Sure, whatever. My point is, that if Drew is put off by your family, he might not be the right guy for you. That’s probably something you’ll want to get to know, sooner rather than later. Or at least, that’s what I would want.”
“You’re right. Really, you are, but please don’t go out your way to make it harder. Deal?”
