Page 74 of Mine Forever


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??I don’t care. Shoot. What do you think?”

“I think you might be starting to feel like Ashville isn’t the worst place to be, after all. That’s what I think.”

There was more conversation after that, but I would never remember what it was. Whether he had meant them to or not, Eli’s words had hit me like a ton of bricks. They had scared the shit out of me. Because there was no way I was going to let those words be true.

Fay was great. There was no bullshitting involved in any of that, but that didn’t mean I was suddenly ready to stick around in Ashville. I had worked too damn hard to get out, only to be sucked back in all these years later. And weren’t there great women everywhere? It might suck to have to leave her again, but was that enough of a reason to stay? Was I really prepared to stay in Ashville for a girl I’d loved in high school?

“No fucking way,” I whispered to myself fiercely. I was the only one who heard the words, but as far as I was concerned, it could have been the whole world. There was no fucking way I was going to let Fay get deep enough into my heart that I would choose to stay for her, great girl or not.

Chapter 15: Fay

“All right, I’ll give,” Courtney said. “What’s with you today?”

“Hm? What are you talking about?”

“I said what’s with you today? I know you heard me, lady.”

“Nothing,” I laughed, my fingers toying lazily with the ends of the apron I had yet to put on while I tried to lie to my best friend and failed miserably. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Bullshit, you don’t!” she squawked, her voice so loud in the empty diner she made me jump about a foot in the air. “You’ve been acting moony ever since you got to work today. So, either tell me what’s with you, or I’ll march up to that Driscoll place and ask him. You tell me which one you would prefer.”

“Definitely the first option,” I admitted, my head momentarily filled with a shudder-inducing vision of Courtney stomping all of the way up to Neil’s front door, where she would pound and yell and demand her information. “And it’s really nothing. I was just thinking about Neil’s last night.”

“And?”

“And what? That’s what I was thinking about.”

“And? Thinking about it how?”

“I was just thinking about how great it was.”

“Right…?”

“I don’t know what else you want me to say,” I laughed shyly, knowing full well what she wanted to know and having not a clue how to tell her. “It was really amazing, that’s all.”

“You did it, didn’t you? You finally fucking did it!”

“Courtney! Seriously, okay? Not so loud!”

“Why, because the salt shakers are going to hear me? Am I right or am I wrong? Did you have sex with him last night?”

I didn’t answer her question, but I didn’t have to. My silence was all of the answer she needed. She let out a low whistle and lit up a cigarette, right there at the counter, despite the fact that the place had been nonsmoking for at least a year. I thought about reminding her of that fact, but something told me it would be best if I didn’t. She had a look in her eyes that I couldn’t understand, especially after all of her years of trying to get me to stop being such a prude.

“What’s the matter, Courtney? If I didn’t know any better, I would say you weren’t happy for me.”

“Of course, I am. Don’t be crazy, okay? It’s about time, you know? I just want to make sure he was good to you. You waited a long time for this. I just want to make sure it was a good thing that it happened this way.”

“It was definitely a good thing! I know you’re going to think this is crazy, but I think it was probably always supposed to be him, you know? Like that’s why I couldn’t ever make myself go there with anyone else. I think it was always supposed to be him, and it was the most amazing thing ever.”

“Christ. Yeah, see that was kind of what I was afraid of.”

“What do you mean?” I asked slowly, feeling confused and shockingly hurt by such a blunt statement. “You’re the one—”

“Right,” she interrupted, sucking on the end of her smoke contemplatively. “I’m the one who’s been telling you to get it over with, I know. I just don’t want you to get your hopes up.”

“I don’t know what that even means.”

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