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“Call it? What do you mean, call it? What’s the matter with you, Courtney?”
“What’s the matter with me? Dude, I’m so freaking hungover, I feel like I’m going to die! I’m surprised you can’t tell. Usually, you’re all over that kind of thing. You know, with the lectures and the mothering looks and shit?”
“Oh,” I laughed, feeling like I was walking through a dream and doing my best to be a part of the real world and my friend’s life at the same time. “I’m sorry to disappoint. I guess I just have other things on my mind.”
“Neil, right?”
“How’d you know that?”
“Please,” Courtney scoffed, lighting up a cigarette right there in the middle of the diner yet again. “Are you kidding me? I know how it goes at the beginning of a thing with a guy. Believe it or not, I’ve even been there myself. Also, Eli told me.”
“Eli? Eli told you? When did you talk to him again, Courtney? You didn’t tell me that.”
“You’ve been busy thinking about other things. Besides, it
was just last night. He was at the bar, and we got to talking.”
“Just talking, huh?”
“Nope, never said that, but we aren’t talking about me. We’re talking about you. Eli told me that you and Neil were hanging out.”
“How the hell did he know?”
“Because the two of them talk, I guess. I think they’ve had beers together a couple of times, and I know that Neil comes up to Eli’s shop kind of a lot. I guess he’s been telling him how much he’s into you.’
“Huh.”
Courtney gave me a look like it was the stupidest answer she’d ever heard, and she was probably right, but I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I had been struggling mightily not to gush about Neil every waking second of every day, but it hadn’t ever occurred to me that Neil might be talking about me as well.
There was still that part of me that was terrified this was all some kind of a game to him, which only made sense considering the way he’d left things so many years ago, but to hear that he was talking to a guy about me made me feel like maybe it wasn’t all me this time. Maybe there really was still something between us, something worth exploring further.
“Hey, Fay?”
“Yeah?”
“I wasn’t joking. Eli and I had a blast last night, but I can’t actually remember the last time I felt this shitty. Is it ok if I go home? I bet we won’t get anyone in, at least anyone aside from your boyfriend.”
“Neil isn’t my boyfriend, Courtney.”
“Who said I was talking about Neil?”
“Who else could you be talking about?”
“The guy who works for the nature magazine! He’s already been in once today, girlie, and he made it clear that he intends to come back. He’s really taken with you, at least that’s what he said. I think he really wants to take you out. He told me he sees something in you.”
“Come on, Courtney, you know that’s not going to happen.”
“How come?”
“You know why.”
“Because of Neil?”
“Well, sure. I don’t think it would be right. I want to see where things are going, you know? Like, I really want to give things a chance, and I don’t think I would be doing that if I started going out with other guys, too.”
“Okay, if you’re sure.”
“Why do you have to say it like that?”
