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“We do?” I asked, my voice cracking. “What do we need to talk about?”
I tried to pretend I had no idea what was happening, but Reese knew. I could see it in his eyes.
“I'm no fool, Maya. After talking to you and then asking your brother a few questions, I put two and two together – I'm Elijah's father, aren't I?”
My heart dropped into my stomach. Suddenly, I felt like I was going to get sick and my knees turned into jelly. I never imagined that I'd see Reese again, so I hadn't bothered to prepare for the moment. I couldn't lie though – the facts were right there. And if I lied to him or tried to play it off, he could always request a DNA test – he had a right to know, after all.
He had a right to know.
“Yes,” I said quietly. I closed my eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling while avoiding the expression on Reese's face. I didn't want to see it. I was so scared of what he might say or do. “But please know, I don't expect you to be part of his life. We're doing just fine and no one knows you're the father –”
“What kind of man do you think I am, Maya?” he asked.
He sounded angry, and that caused me to open my eyes and look at him. He was angry, but also sad. There were a lot of emotions on his face, many I couldn't discern.
“I don't know, Reese,” I said. “I don't want to sound mean, but I hardly know you, honestly.”
“I know,” he said with a sigh. He sat down at the kitchen table, wringing his hands as he stared off into space. “It's just... wow. I'm a father. I wasn't expecting this, at all –”
My bottom lip trembled and I started shaking – the sobs came shortly after. I tried so hard to hold it in, but I'd been holding it in for far too long and it all came rushing out at once. I broke down, falling to the floor, pulling my knees to my chest as I just let it all out.
I was so tired of being alone, of doing this all by myself. Of keeping all of this to myself for so long. It was almost a relief, in some ways, to tell Reese the truth. At least now, it was no longer a secret. Not something I had to fear getting out there and getting back to him somehow. Because it was out there now. And now, he knew. What he chose to do now was up to him. I was already used to being a single mother, so if he decided to bail, that wasn't going to be new to me. And there was no way he'd take my son from me, no court in their right mind would give custody to him like that.
Yet, I still cried.
Reese got up from the table and joined me on the floor, pulling my face from my hands, forcing me to look him in the eyes.
“Maya, please, listen to me,” he whispered. “I want to be a part of his life. I want to see my son, to help you raise him. It's gonna take me a minute to figure it all out, but you're no longer alone.”
It was as if he'd read my mind and knew how to speak to my heart. He said the words I so badly needed to hear, but the problem was, I didn't know if I believed him.
“Are you sure? Because I can't have you in his life now, then a year down the road you're gone – off to somewhere new and exciting. I can't have his heart broken like that. I won't.”
Like mine had been, but I didn't say that. No, I didn't need to say that. Couldn't. Because it wasn't about me. It was about Eli now.
“Yes, yes, I'm sure,” Reese said, holding my hands in his. “I promise you, Maya. I will be the best father I can be for that boy. I may not be perfect, but he's my kid and I'll do my best.”
I wanted to believe him. Oh, God, I so badly wanted to believe him, but until I saw it with my own two eyes, I wasn't sure I could.
But he deserved to know his son, and his son deserved to know his father.
“Okay,” I said. “Okay. But just know – if you ever hurt our child in any way, I will kill you. That's a promise, Reese. Nothing in this world matters more than him. Nothing.”
We set up a time for Reese to meet Eli in a more personal setting – well away from my parents' house. We'd agreed to not tell anyone – including Eli – that Reese was his dad until after they became more comfortable with one another. It just made sense to ease into it. My family didn't need their nose in our business and I knew Luke would only make things more stressful. There were no rushing things with Reese and Eli. Slow and steady. That way if Reese bolted, my son wouldn't have to know anything.
Not that I told Reese my reasoning. He didn't need know how much I didn't trust him.
For our first meeting, Reese came over to my place to visit for a bit. Just the three of us. I expected things to be awkward. I mean, except for the night I slept with him, we didn't really have much history together. We didn't seem to have much in common. And suddenly we'd be together with our son and I'd have to make conversation. What in the hell were we going to talk about?
My heart stuttered in my chest when Reese knocked on the door – right on time. Which was a surprise for me. As I opened it and let him in, he looked around, nodding.
“Nice place,” he said.
“Thanks. It's a bit small, but it'll do for us, for now.”
I didn't mention that my parents paid half my rent, just so I could provide a nice home for our son. I couldn't afford to pay for everything, not on my own. Not yet, at least. I'd told them we could rent an apartment, but they insisted on helping. Because of their help, we were able to get a small two-bedroom house down the street from them. And for that, I was more thankful than I could say.
Eli was on the floor watching cartoons when Reese came in. He looked up at Ree
