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“What do you think about telling Eli you're his father? Are you ready for that?” I asked.
Reese looked surprised as he handed me a plate. And yes, the bacon was badly burnt – black and crisp – but I wasn't one to complain about breakfast I didn't have to make.
“The real question is – are you?”
“Yeah,” I said, taking a bite of the charred bacon. “I think so. As long as you're ready, so am I.”
“Then let's do it,” he said.
Of course, there was more than just telling Eli. We needed to break the news to my parents too. All these years, they had no idea I knew who my son's father was – and now I was coming clean. I was admitting the truth. Or at least, I would be, once I worked up the nerve.
We picked a family dinner, as was only fitting in my mind, to break the news. But before that, we made a point of sitting down with Eli. It went easier than I thought, but mainly because he was, after all, only a toddler and didn't quite comprehend the news the same way my parents would. Which was good. It meant he'd grow up with early memories of his father, of knowing who he was. Reese missed a few years, but not too many.
“So Eli,” I said as we sat on the floor of the living room with him, “you know how I have a mommy and daddy?”
“Yes,” he said, not looking entirely interested in anything I had to say.
Reese sat across from me, and we shared a look. This was it. This was the moment.
“Well, you know you have a mommy already –”
“You!” he said, pointing at me with a smile. “You're my mommy.”
“Yes, Eli,” I said with a laugh. “I'm your mommy. But did you know you also had a daddy?”
The little boy cocked his head and looked confused. His eyes were wide as he looked back at me, almost like I was speaking a foreign language.
“Reese isn't just mommy's friend,” I said. “He's also your daddy.”
Eli's eyes grew even wider as they went from looking at me to staring at Reese, then back at me.
Reese took this moment to speak up. “Do you know what that means?”
Eli shook his head and stared down at the floor, tracing something with his fingers. But I knew he was listening.
Reese continued. “It means that you have two people who care for you, Eli. Two parents who love you and will always be there for you. Who will do anything for you.”
That made my heart explode in my chest. All the warm and fuzzy feelings came rushing to the surface as I wiped away tears of joy from my eyes. All these years, I'd raised Eli alone. Sure, he had his grandma and grandpa, but he didn't have a mom and a dad. It was hard trying to be both for him. And whether I liked to admit it or not, that bothered me. To know my child would grow up without a father bothered me a lot more than I realized until that moment. Knowing that he had us both thought, there with him, no matter what happened between Reese and myself – well, that meant a lot. More than I could possibly express.
“And,” Reese continued, reaching out and taking my hand in his, “it means your momma doesn't have to do all this alone, because I love her too.”
Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined something so perfect. My life may not have turned out the way I had planned, but that was okay. Because it was starting to turn into something that was pretty damn amazing anyway. Unexpected, of course. But amazing all the same.
ooo000ooo
Family dinner, a few weeks later. This time it was me asking if someone could join us.
“Seriously, Maya,” my mom said, shaking her head at me, “You've always been on my side on this. It's family dinner, not a time for friends or anyone not part of this family –”
“Just this once, mom,” I said, trying to maintain my composure. “You always let Luke have his friends over. This one is a special friend. It's important to me.”
I'd never pushed the issue before, not like my brother, and I knew my mom knew that. Maybe it was the determined look in my eye or perhaps my old mom wasn't as stubborn as she liked to appear, but her face softened slightly.
“Okay. Just this once,” she said. “I suppose it couldn't hurt.”
I hugged her, held her tight. “Thank you,” I said.
She had no idea about the announcement I'd be making. She had no idea that in a way, the person I was bringing over for dinner was family – but that was all about to change. And the knot in my stomach, as well as the feeling of nausea that was sweeping over me only reinforced that fact.
