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“I wish,” she said. “It’s Saturday, and my father always struggles on Saturday nights. It used to be his night to go to the casinos, so I stay home to make sure he doesn’t go.”
I drove her back to her house and stared at her from the driver's seat. I reached up and moved a lock of hair from her face, leaning forward and kissing her nose. She blushed and then sighed, looking up at her house. I could tell she didn’t want to go inside, but I knew that she needed to do it. I was just making it harder.
“I don’t want to leave here without knowing I’ll see you soon,” I whispered.
She smirked and reached down, grabbing my phone. She opened the contacts and put in her contact information. When she was done, she turned it off and handed it over to me.
“Text me,” she said happily. “We will figure it out.”
I watched as Josie climbed from the car and walked up the walk, waving before opening the door and going inside. Immediately, I felt as if I were at a loss without her near me. It was truly the strangest feeling in the world.
I drove off, stopping at the stop sign and pulling out my phone. I sent her a text, knowing it would make her smile. I texted, “I miss you already,” and I was positive it was the truth.
Chapter 6
Josie
I walked into the house, both on cloud nine and grounded from the reality that I had to come back to my life. I loved my father, of course, but a part of me yearned to be free from his addiction. I had dealt with it my whole life, and I was doing the job my mother couldn’t stand by and do. I understood why she left, but that didn’t make it any easier. I knew if I left him there alone, he would end up in a really bad place.
Standing in the kitchen, I couldn’t get my mind wrapped around dinner. I was too busy replaying the day over and over again in my head. Blaine had opened up to me, and I had opened up to him as well, and it felt really good. There was almost a weight lifted from my chest as I strolled along the beach next to him, talking about all the things that I kept well-hidden my whole life. My phone buzzed, and I looked down at it, reading Blaine’s text. How adorable was that? He missed me already. That text shot me back in the right direction, so I walked over to the cabinets and pulled the spaghetti sauce out. I looked over at my dad, who was still plopped in front of the computer, playing hand after hand of poker, and I sighed.
It never failed that as soon as something good happened to me, I suddenly was struck with the realization that my life was a bit of a mess. But it was my life, and I needed to take the positives with the negatives. I thought about Blaine and the day we spent together, and I began to hum a tune I remembered my mother humming when times were good. I pranced around the kitchen, creating the most delicious spaghetti I could from the ingredients that we had. My mother always added, what she called, the special ingredients before putting the spaghetti together for everyone. So, doing what my mother taught me and feeling giddy and jolly from the day, I went to work.
When the noodles were done boiling, I drained them well and put them back in the pot, adding three tablespoons of margarine, some salt, and some garlic powder. I stirred it all up and breathed deeply, loving the way the house smelled like a home when dinner was cooking. I added the sauce and continued to mix it up, realizing that in my Blaine haze, I had made enough spaghetti for an army. I laughed to myself, figuring we would be eating it as leftovers for a few days.
I was so engrossed in the conversation Blaine and I had, it was hard to concentrate on anything else. I was not only taken back by how much he opened up to me so quickly, but by how much I opened up to him as well. He really seemed like the kind of guy that was going to be completely guarded, kind of like I was, but once we got rolling in our conversation, it was hard not to just let it all out. On top of all of that, when I listened to his story and then told mine, I was shocked at how much I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It wasn’t very often that I described my life to anyone, as my father’s issue was a bit embarrassing, and I hated the advice people tried to give me. But letting Blaine in felt so good.
When I first met Blaine, I thought that he seemed like a guy whose life was perfectly put together. He looked like a man that had the perfect job, perfect family, and perfect life, but he was hiding just as much as I was. He had some dark secrets from his past, and even though I wanted to help him, I knew that the best thing for me to do was hold his hand and listen, hoping that allowing him to talk to me about it would be just as therapeutic for him as it was for me. I wasn’t sure if he felt that way, but the look on his face as we talked made me think it was.
Dad and I ate in silence. My thoughts were on Blaine, and my father’s were where they always were, gambling. I knew the therapist said having him use the free online poker site was not going to help him, but at the point that I signed him up, I was at my wit's end. I couldn’t keep him from the casino, and I couldn’t afford for him to continue to squander the little bit of money he had left. The site didn’t let you gamble with money, purchase anything, or use your own cash. It was simply a poker game with other people, virtually, that you used your points for. Since I signed him up, I hadn’t noticed him go out one time to the casinos, which he used to sneak out to almost every night, even when he was trying his hardest to fight the addiction. It didn’t help that when my mother left, he pretty much just gave up, not caring what happened to him.
When we were finished, Dad went over to continue his game, and I started to clean up from dinner. Cleaning up was the part I hated the most, but I found giving my father responsibility meant he would rush through, leave dirty dishes, and I would end up having to clean everything again. I tried to talk to him about it, but it never seemed to get through to him, so I just took over the responsibility. As I set down the dishes in the kitchen, my phone buzzed again, and I smiled as Blaine’s face came up on the screen. He wanted to know if he could see me tomorrow. I wanted to scream “yes” a thousand times, but I was scared he would get burned out on me. Should I play hard to get? I texted him back with, “Idk,” and he instantly took the bait. Our conversation then exploded into a flirtatious back and forth.
Blaine: : (
Me: Aww no sad faces.
Blaine: You can fix that, you know.
Me: Oh yeah? How?
Blaine: Well, I can think of many different ways.
Me: Hey there mister. I have innocent eyes.
Blaine: Didn’t seem that way the other night, lol.
Me: You seduced me.
Blaine: I’m pretty sure it was the other way around.
I laughed reading the text, thinking about how drunk I was and wondering if I looked even half as sexy as I felt. In my sober mind, I figured I looked like a bumbling idiot, trying to dance, and falling all over the place. Either Blaine liked clowns, or I wasn’t as bad as I thought I was. Either way, I loved his little flirty texts, and I was happy to have someone like him to take away my boredom as I babysat my father on a Saturday night. Maybe one day, he could come over and watch movies with me while we were there.
Blaine: If you don’t choose a place or time to see me, I’m going to come over there right now and torture you with an endless bout of tickling.
Me: Oh no! Okay okay, I relent. Pick me up at two tomorrow.
Blaine: And where is it that I am taking you, milady?
